Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Game Two for the Mighty Elephants

"Do you want to keep playing or go sit on the sideline?"  I inquired to one of my players.

"Sit on the sideline," she replied.

"Okay then. Ruby get out here," I yelled.

And so it goes, the continual prodding, needling, negotiating, and encouraging that you need as a coach to keep the four year olds motivated.  Sometimes they just want to sit out and be on the sideline with the other three girls, pick grass, and drink water from their squirt bottles. For at least three girls on my team, being on the team, is actually more important than playing the games.  I am pretty competitive and winning was always priority number one for me, but we are all wired differently and recognizing those differences goes a long way toward understanding what makes these kids tick.

My wife reminds me that Ruby is not me.  This is a fundamental lesson that all coaches must learn quickly if they are going to coach their own kids.  I get more frustrated with her than any other kid on the team. My expectations are higher (we practice at home almost every day) and I feel like I know what she is capable of. On the other hand, Ruby just wants to run around and have fun, winning isn't even discussed with my team, because with four year olds, building a foundation of skills they can take with them is the most important part.  If I start allowing myself to be concerned about the outcome of a three on three game between four year olds, I have a serious problem.

As a coach, what you can take assurance in, is improvement.  When I see a girl do something we worked on last week correctly, or they offer to show me something (which happens a lot) it is an affirmation that something is getting through.  In no way can I take credit for much of this because I know lots of the parents are taking their kids home and practicing the same drills we use at the fields. Regardless, small steps are being taken and less tears are flowing.  Rule number three is working!!!

My goals for this coming Saturday are two fold, to get the girls to run as fast in the game as they do around their houses, and to make one of my timid ones smile.  If the kids don't want to be there and aren't having fun, then I'm not being a good coach.

1, 2, 3, GO PINK ELEPHANTS!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Fun with Soccer

In effort to keep some type of theme meandering it's way through the convolution of this blog, I am going to drop some posts in the next month or so about my experience with coaching my daughters U-5 soccer team. 

This is meant to be educational in variety as I am a highly trained soccer professional whom likes to base my level of expertise in soccer on the use of terms such as "pitch" instead of field, "boots" instead of cleats, and "clean sheet" instead of shut out.  As you can tell, based solely on my Euro-centric adoption of football terminology I am advanced.  In an effort to appear more broadly to my domestic readership I will use the more commonly accepted terms such as soccer.

The first practice is like opening a new restaurant.  You want to start banging away with high energy, lots of activities, and loads of customers, our team lived up to the first two.  As mentioned in my first T-Ball post, having a solid team name makes up for the lack of remembering any of the kids names.  Also, take into consideration the age of the players you are coaching because calling four year olds "killers" is evidently not appropriate.  We, and by we I mean me, decided what we would be called, I was racking my brain trying to come up with something and then it dawned on me. The Pink Elephants. I know what you are thinking, "nice work Ben" but truth be told our uniforms are pink and they have a giant elephant on the front but hey the other team didn't even have a name. 

Now with all due respect to the other team, they had nothing on us.  They were instructed by one of the "Premier" coaches that are available to all teams in the league. I opted not to have a premier coach but to handle the coaching responsibilities myself. You might call this arrogance and there is probably a sliver of truth to that but I have gone to some of the local "training" academies and clubs with my daughter and the coaches they have are typically "premier" in name only.  My assumption played out fairly well in this regard.  The other team had a premier coach and they pretty much were crying and not having anywhere near as much fun as we were having.  Plus, she failed in her first job as coach, and that is getting a team name and doing a cheer. 

Back to the Elephants. We started with some simple introductions and rules of the game.  "This is out of bounds so stop kicking the ball and running if you go out over this line. This is the goal, if you kick it in here we will all go crazy.  Don't push or pull or do anything mean to the other team.  You are on the same team so don't kick each other but kicking them is okay."  Lastly, I instilled the three main rules of soccer for five year olds.

1. No using your hands ever. (we don't have goalies in this league)

2. No kicking with your toe of your "cleats" (we use the laces, instep or outstep)

3. No crying (this is possibly the rule the parents love the most)

I make my team tell me those rules, scratch that, I make my team yell me those rules many, many times throughout the game.  We yell the rules and do 1, 2, 3 Elephants as often as possible. The kids love it and the parents get a kick out of it. 

Next, bring a whistle, my wife found mine before practice and it came in handy on countless occations. There are four fields and seven other teams practicing and the kids don't respond to your voice but they sure as hell respond to a whistle. 

Finally, make sure you stop the game if one of your kids does something mean to the other team.  One of my girls was tackled, and one of my girls pulled a kids shirt.  This lead to loads of crying by the offended player. Making them say they are sorry but more importantly singling them out and drawing attention to it, makes them not want to go through that again.   We scored two goals, which did lead me to a drill we will be working on this Saturday, goal runs. Ruby and I have been working on the airplane and it's going to be sweet.  Remember, the impression you give to the parents and the amount of fun the kids are having are the criteria you as a coach are going to be judged on with five year olds.  If someone thinks their kid is the next Landon Donovan, they need to check themselves or find a new team. Also, I am adding this rather incoherently but remember to bring treats to the first game, two of the girls first questions or rather statements were regarding how much they were looking forward to them. Priorities of a five year old.

Please feel free to add comments or tips on making coaching five year olds the best possible experience you can provide.  In the meantime I will leave you with this.  The other team did come up with a team name by the end of the game. The Pirates...lame.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Armed Robbery

I got a email today from the UMKC Campus Safety Patrol about a recent incident close to campus.  Here is the text from the notice.


"The Rockhurst University Dispatch notified the University of Missouri-Kansas City Police Department of the armed robbery of a UMKC student at approximately 7:30 p.m., Thursday, Sept. 9. The student – who was unharmed – was at the bus stop at 51st and Troost when approached. After the robbery, the two suspects left the area eastbound on 51st Street.  Only one suspect had a handgun."


That's right, only one suspect had a handgun.  Sweet Jesus then, I feel so much safer than if they both had guns because we all know, one gun can't hurt you.



Finally, these descriptions are provide a narrowing focus that eliminates everyone but nearly all of the male population in America.

  • Suspect 1: Male; approximately 5’11” in height; thin build with hair in a ponytail; wearing a black shirt, blue jeans and black shoes.
  • Suspect 2: Male; 5’11” in height; thin build with hair in dreads; wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans.
 With these clues it's only a matter of time until this case is cracked wide open or more likely never solved.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Bike vs Squirrel

This story is about my brother-in-law, Chris Ellmer and his run in with a jihadi squirrel.

Ever wondered what would happen if you hit a squirrel while you're out riding?  Well, Chris Ellmer found out the hard way. It turned bad for Chris but even worse for the squirrel.  Warning: the photos are a tad graphic.

Well, although the pictures may be a bit disturbing to squirrel lovers, I thought the everyone may appreciate a unique kind of bike crash this morning.  I'm not even sure how to describe what happened so I'll let the photos tell the story.  The end result was one dead squirrel, one ejected cyclist (broke this fall with my face) and a slight delay to Cross season.  I mean seriously, a squirrel?
 
Later,
 
Chris Ellmer
 
 
 
 


The comments left on his face book page just further pound home the point of how impossible this seems to be.  According to my sister the squirrel wasn't even in his path.  It literally ran up the wheel to die.  Damn Al Qaeda squirrels. I have to ponder what Chgris may have done in the past to have this karma come wreck his face. Could it be the innocent bloodshed of their cousin Prairie Dogs he has spilled across the ranges? Maybe some distant cousin of one he shot got word Chris was in the area and decided to make the ultimate sacrifice. In the dreys of said squirrel was an picture of Chris with the saying, "revenge is a dish best served cold" above it. Not only could that squirrel read, it read Shakespeare.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Religion vs Spirituality

"Religion is for people who are afraid they are going to hell.
Spirituality is for the people who have already been there."

my thoughts exactly