Here is a highlight from Ruby's world premier performance of the Halloween Misfits. She is the light blue ghost.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Break Up White Lightning!
What a difference a week makes. From worst to first. Well, not quite but we did put the hurt on the first place team in our league and that always feels good. If you remember last week (which I'm sure the three of you do) I lamented on the inability of my U6 Team to win a game and the complete loss of form by my dominating U3 Team. *side note: the terms dominating U3 Team shows the exact level of focus I demand from small children.
Oh how my faith in humanity has been reborn! First up was Alice and the mighty Orange Alligators. I have three goal scoring machines on my team and they were all ready to go. One lingering question from last week was answered by the Grandmother of one boy. This kid is going to be a stud. He knows how to dribble, shoot, pass, and even has one move (step-over) but last week looked actually lost on the field. At one point I thought he might cry and that is not his M.O. at all. His Grandmother, coincidentally named Alice, said that he didn't want to play the pink team anymore and when she asked him why he said because they are girls. A little boy who doesn't want to play with girls and is already developing a complex and coping issues. Sounds like the story of my life. Lucky for us this team was in gray uniforms and was mostly boys. We seriously may have scored 15 goals.
Ruby played a game on Saturday and Sunday. For the previous five games, I asked if everyone wanted to have fun, encourage them to play hard, and tried to get them excited to play. This time I decided to use a motivational tactic that was developed by the Mayans, brought up north by the Spanish and perfected by me. I asked them if they wanted to win.
"Do you really want to win this game?" I asked the team.
"YESSSSSSSSSSSS," they screamed at me.
"Well then you have to play hard the whole time and score more goals then them," I said. "Can you do that?"
"YESSSSSSSSSSS," they scream again.
My message boiled down to this. Run after every ball, kick the ball in their goal more than they kick it in ours, and we will win. This simple message resulted in a 7-6 win on Saturday and a 4-3 comeback win on Sunday. Their faces absolutely lit up when, after each game, they asked me if they won and I said yes.
I do find some hilarity in the fact that they act like they really want to win but keeping score requires too much concentration. I felt a slight twinge of sadness though in what it took to win. As much as I don't think it's all that important for them to win at this age, the only way to get them motivated to play hard the whole time was to stoke their competitive juices. I'm not naive, I understand that winning and competition are part of who we are as people and everyone, everyone likes to win it also provides the opportunity to make them deal with losing. The lessons learned from losing are even more powerful than what we learn from winning but like I always told my coaches when they told me that.
"You ask them what losing taught them and I will just stick to beating them."
Oh how my faith in humanity has been reborn! First up was Alice and the mighty Orange Alligators. I have three goal scoring machines on my team and they were all ready to go. One lingering question from last week was answered by the Grandmother of one boy. This kid is going to be a stud. He knows how to dribble, shoot, pass, and even has one move (step-over) but last week looked actually lost on the field. At one point I thought he might cry and that is not his M.O. at all. His Grandmother, coincidentally named Alice, said that he didn't want to play the pink team anymore and when she asked him why he said because they are girls. A little boy who doesn't want to play with girls and is already developing a complex and coping issues. Sounds like the story of my life. Lucky for us this team was in gray uniforms and was mostly boys. We seriously may have scored 15 goals.
Ruby played a game on Saturday and Sunday. For the previous five games, I asked if everyone wanted to have fun, encourage them to play hard, and tried to get them excited to play. This time I decided to use a motivational tactic that was developed by the Mayans, brought up north by the Spanish and perfected by me. I asked them if they wanted to win.
"Do you really want to win this game?" I asked the team.
"YESSSSSSSSSSSS," they screamed at me.
"Well then you have to play hard the whole time and score more goals then them," I said. "Can you do that?"
"YESSSSSSSSSSS," they scream again.
My message boiled down to this. Run after every ball, kick the ball in their goal more than they kick it in ours, and we will win. This simple message resulted in a 7-6 win on Saturday and a 4-3 comeback win on Sunday. Their faces absolutely lit up when, after each game, they asked me if they won and I said yes.
I do find some hilarity in the fact that they act like they really want to win but keeping score requires too much concentration. I felt a slight twinge of sadness though in what it took to win. As much as I don't think it's all that important for them to win at this age, the only way to get them motivated to play hard the whole time was to stoke their competitive juices. I'm not naive, I understand that winning and competition are part of who we are as people and everyone, everyone likes to win it also provides the opportunity to make them deal with losing. The lessons learned from losing are even more powerful than what we learn from winning but like I always told my coaches when they told me that.
"You ask them what losing taught them and I will just stick to beating them."
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Just Can't Win
For the life of me I can't figure out why my girls team can't put a full game together. Is it the fact they are five and six years old? Probably. Is that a good excuse for losing four straight games? It is according to my wife.
While this might sound trite, I worry that the other parents are getting frustrated that we keep losing? I feel like I am being a good coach, trying to make it fun, and helping them enjoy sports and being on a team. Why then do I feel like such a failure this year to these girls? I know part of the answer. I hate losing. My wife and I try all we can to teach the kids it's NOT okay to hate but no matter what I do in my own life, the depression and obsession that come with losing is hard for me to shake.
You might be thinking? "Ben this is under six girls soccer we are talking about here." You are right and when I take a second to look back and really analyze it I know I am being rediculous but it's a bitter pill to swallow. Second, we had never lost until this year and now all of a sudden we aren't any good? That seems crazy to me. The girls practiced through the summer on their own with me and we kept showing improvement, but when the game starts the girls brains go into outer space.
I take some solace in the fact that the girls keep coming back, they all love playing with each other and no parents have yelled at me yet. Those are my sophisticated metrics for personal coaching success.
1. Do the kids you coach come back?
2. Do the kids like each other and do things together away from soccer?
3. Have any parents yelled at me?
I can answer all those positively. I guess I am fishing for a pick me up here.
While this might sound trite, I worry that the other parents are getting frustrated that we keep losing? I feel like I am being a good coach, trying to make it fun, and helping them enjoy sports and being on a team. Why then do I feel like such a failure this year to these girls? I know part of the answer. I hate losing. My wife and I try all we can to teach the kids it's NOT okay to hate but no matter what I do in my own life, the depression and obsession that come with losing is hard for me to shake.
You might be thinking? "Ben this is under six girls soccer we are talking about here." You are right and when I take a second to look back and really analyze it I know I am being rediculous but it's a bitter pill to swallow. Second, we had never lost until this year and now all of a sudden we aren't any good? That seems crazy to me. The girls practiced through the summer on their own with me and we kept showing improvement, but when the game starts the girls brains go into outer space.
I take some solace in the fact that the girls keep coming back, they all love playing with each other and no parents have yelled at me yet. Those are my sophisticated metrics for personal coaching success.
1. Do the kids you coach come back?
2. Do the kids like each other and do things together away from soccer?
3. Have any parents yelled at me?
I can answer all those positively. I guess I am fishing for a pick me up here.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Si Habla Espanol?
Flabbergasted is the best way to describe my reaction.
Emily was at the gym, the girls were sitting at the table mowing down some ravioli, mandarin oranges, and potatoes with green beans and I was creating a chili masterpiece when Ruby blew my mind.
Alice asked me for a napkin due to the fact that I think she must hit her face with her ravioli at least three times before she gets it in her mouth. I mean it looks like someone was just throwing tomato sauce at her face. Anyway, after she tells me where mom keeps them, I grab a stack and start to hand them out. I put one next to Ruby and she says, "blanco".
"What did you say?" I inquire.
"That's white in Spanish Dad."
"Wow, what's blue?"
"Azul." Ruby says matter of factly.
We go through all the colors of the spectrum, ROYGBIV for those of you out there needing some help, and she pretty much nails them all.
My first reaction is to take credit and think about how working on this as a toddler is what set the foundation for her learning this now. Maybe, but probably not. What is working is that fact she takes Spanish in Kindergarten and is learning.
I ask her everyday, "what did you do at school today?"
The typical response is already, "nothing." I know that is not true.
My fears of her watching the clock and being disinterested are falling away and the realization on me is this. I need to find ways to tap the excitement for learning at school into a wicked half volley from the top of the box. I can dream.
Emily was at the gym, the girls were sitting at the table mowing down some ravioli, mandarin oranges, and potatoes with green beans and I was creating a chili masterpiece when Ruby blew my mind.
Alice asked me for a napkin due to the fact that I think she must hit her face with her ravioli at least three times before she gets it in her mouth. I mean it looks like someone was just throwing tomato sauce at her face. Anyway, after she tells me where mom keeps them, I grab a stack and start to hand them out. I put one next to Ruby and she says, "blanco".
"What did you say?" I inquire.
"That's white in Spanish Dad."
"Wow, what's blue?"
"Azul." Ruby says matter of factly.
We go through all the colors of the spectrum, ROYGBIV for those of you out there needing some help, and she pretty much nails them all.
My first reaction is to take credit and think about how working on this as a toddler is what set the foundation for her learning this now. Maybe, but probably not. What is working is that fact she takes Spanish in Kindergarten and is learning.
I ask her everyday, "what did you do at school today?"
The typical response is already, "nothing." I know that is not true.
My fears of her watching the clock and being disinterested are falling away and the realization on me is this. I need to find ways to tap the excitement for learning at school into a wicked half volley from the top of the box. I can dream.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Two Stories in Youth Soccer Practice
I haven't been doing a very good job at keeping up on giving soccer match or practice reports but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about them. To recap: Ruby is in the Under 6 Youth Development League, and Alice is in the 3 and Under Pre-Fun Soccer. Two entirely different beasts, and I mean beasts, to deal with but the threads from each woven together does create and interesting tapestry in the colors of soccer, coaching, friendship, and youth development.
White Lightning:
Overall: This team has been a real head scratcher this year. We lost our most highly skilled player but gained the ability to have more girls touch the ball and participate. In turn we lost our chief goal scorer but now other girls are scoring and gaining confidence.
Skills: We can pass, dribble, defend our goal, shoot the ball in the air, do the occational pull back or step-over which also leads to the inevitable ball surf: sliding over the ball and falling on your butt.
Games: We have seen a gradual progression from game one to now game three. We have lost all three which is killing me inside but I have to let that go. I have made each girl a sheet after the game that I email to their parents before our next practice with: 1. Things I did great 2. Things I need to work on 3. Homework for next week. The parents seem to like it and I hope the kids do as well.
Practices: They have been doing a great job in practice. Everyone has been coming consistently, the kids generally get along but things have been getting testier. Now that everyone understands and grasps winning and losing, scoring and being scored on, they want to win and some, like Ruby, want to win at everything.
Dangers: The kids are getting the ball in the air and kicking harder at every practice. I had my first kid get nailed in the check with an absolute bomb. Both girls were in tears. I felt bad but they are realizing that this happens. The elbows, shirt pulls, and running into each other is happening with more regularity and I need to work hard to correct this but I like aggression teetering on the edge of violence. Even for six year olds!
Orange Alligators:
Overall: This has been a learning experience for me. The main experience being I'm glad I have girls of my own and not boys. Damn they don't listen like the all girl team. They are running around, kicking the ball, scoring goals, generally being unpredictable and wild. The two girls on the team are certainly on the defensive and Alice is learning that no one will just give her the ball because it's her turn. Understanding that when the game is played for real you don't get a turn, you make your turn.
Skills: Understand that you have to score goals and not let goals go in our goal. Dribbling is coming along, kicking is getting better, passing is non-existent.
Games: We have won them all (we don't keep score...sure we don't). Only two kids really want to be out there the whole time and one of them is not Alice. That is a challenge. Getting them to come on the field and play. I have never had the problem with my all girl team.
Practices: Come on they are 3 we don't have practices. Alice kicks the ball with Ruby almost daily.
Dangers: Falling down, not getting a snack, getting stuck in the net.
I could go on but I want to leave you with a video of Ruby scoring a goal. I like to brag.
White Lightning:
Overall: This team has been a real head scratcher this year. We lost our most highly skilled player but gained the ability to have more girls touch the ball and participate. In turn we lost our chief goal scorer but now other girls are scoring and gaining confidence.
Skills: We can pass, dribble, defend our goal, shoot the ball in the air, do the occational pull back or step-over which also leads to the inevitable ball surf: sliding over the ball and falling on your butt.
Games: We have seen a gradual progression from game one to now game three. We have lost all three which is killing me inside but I have to let that go. I have made each girl a sheet after the game that I email to their parents before our next practice with: 1. Things I did great 2. Things I need to work on 3. Homework for next week. The parents seem to like it and I hope the kids do as well.
Practices: They have been doing a great job in practice. Everyone has been coming consistently, the kids generally get along but things have been getting testier. Now that everyone understands and grasps winning and losing, scoring and being scored on, they want to win and some, like Ruby, want to win at everything.
Dangers: The kids are getting the ball in the air and kicking harder at every practice. I had my first kid get nailed in the check with an absolute bomb. Both girls were in tears. I felt bad but they are realizing that this happens. The elbows, shirt pulls, and running into each other is happening with more regularity and I need to work hard to correct this but I like aggression teetering on the edge of violence. Even for six year olds!
Orange Alligators:
Overall: This has been a learning experience for me. The main experience being I'm glad I have girls of my own and not boys. Damn they don't listen like the all girl team. They are running around, kicking the ball, scoring goals, generally being unpredictable and wild. The two girls on the team are certainly on the defensive and Alice is learning that no one will just give her the ball because it's her turn. Understanding that when the game is played for real you don't get a turn, you make your turn.
Skills: Understand that you have to score goals and not let goals go in our goal. Dribbling is coming along, kicking is getting better, passing is non-existent.
Games: We have won them all (we don't keep score...sure we don't). Only two kids really want to be out there the whole time and one of them is not Alice. That is a challenge. Getting them to come on the field and play. I have never had the problem with my all girl team.
Practices: Come on they are 3 we don't have practices. Alice kicks the ball with Ruby almost daily.
Dangers: Falling down, not getting a snack, getting stuck in the net.
I could go on but I want to leave you with a video of Ruby scoring a goal. I like to brag.
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