Boston Marathon An Abbreviated Recap

This is the email I wrote to my friends and family after I got back from the Boston Marathon. I hope to write a longer post on the experience later. I felt like I needed to get this out there so anyone who has been waiting to hear about my race here you go. While the race was not as planned the experience of Boston is the greatest pre-race experience I have ever been part of.

Hello Friends and Family,

I thought it might make sense to just send out a mass email to all my friends and family about what happened at yesterday's Boston Marathon. I'm going to give the somewhat abbreviated version since I am laying in bed and my skull is pounding.

It started like any other race day. I ate the same things I always eat, at the same time I always do. It was already in the 80's before we even started and I could tell due to the fact I was already sweating before we even started. That's not good for me but more on that later. My goal was 2:59:59 and the Boston Athletic Association had already send out numerous warning about slowing down and hydrating. They also took the unprecedented step of issuing you free entry into next year's race if you would withdraw. (they didn't want people dying and now I understand the true seriousness of the warning) If I hadn't trained so long and brought the wife and kids I may have withdrawn, but probably not because as you know I think I am indestructible and think fairly highly of myself. HA! At about mile 8 I knew I was in trouble. I went out normally, fairly slow keeping to my splits for each mile. At mile 8 I was about 30 seconds over where I should be and doubts were creeping in. I started getting pains in my sternum and the middle of my back. My fingers were getting tingly and I was honestly afraid I was having a heart attack which made me freak out a little. At mile 13 I was only 5 minutes over my pace and was happy in a weird way but new it was only a matter of time until I stopped. This is when I started thinking about what Red Cross station I was going to stop at. I really wanted to make it through Wesleyan College where all the girls go nuts. Imagine that. At mile 16 I think a volunteer nurse helped me make a decision that may have saved me from permanent damage. I was walking in the middle of the road, and mind you there are thousands of runners on the whole course it's insane, and she yells out to me, "are you okay?" I started crying and said "no". I walked over sat down and said I'm done. I was one of the hardest and most disappointing things I have ever had to do. I mean I put in a lot of miles, nearly 700 this year already, Emily has made tremendous sacrifices to help me get to here, Jason and Anne opened their home to my insane kids and were so amazing at getting us where we needed to be without any complaints. Not to mention all the people I had told I was running this, what my goal time was, etc, etc.. I had set expectations and had the utmost confidence I would smash them. Funny how 89 degree heat will throw a wrench in those plans. I got on an aid bus and went to the finish line. Jason, Emily and the kids picked me up and then the flight home from hell begun. In hindsight I should have gone to the hospital but money, flight changes, and my stubbornness thought otherwise. I am doing much better and am laying in bed as I write this. I will be going back to sleep once I get done with this but I felt I owed all of you an update or explanation on what happened. All of you on this, in one way or another supported me in life not just running and I was thinking about all of you as I was going home. It is overwhelming to know how many people care about me and I can at least show my appreciation by giving you a rundown of the events. I'm okay. I'm feeling much better and will not be running for awhile.

22,500 races qualified. 4500 withdrew before the race. Over 2500 quit during the race. Geoffrey Mutai, of Kenya and a previous winner, had to quit at mile 18 due to heat and cramps. Not bad company to keep in the quitting department.

Who knows what silver lining will come out of this. I'm not too worried about it. I tried hard, learned some lessons, and live to run another day.

A heartfelt thank you to every single one of you for your thoughts, prayers, and good vibes you sent my way for this race. It will be alright.

Ben

Soccer Madness and Lessons Learned

It's been one of those months when you try to squeeze in a lot and potentially don't do justice to the things you squeezed in. Soccer has been something else. That is the most polite way I can describe it. We are in way over our heads and I have at times lost sight of the point and been too hard on the girls especially my own. Balance that with the fact we have gotten better every game, the girls keep coming and laughing and having fun but we keep making some of the same mistakes over and over again. I have finally realized how I can fix them but it's going to be hard to do until the spring season.

Right now we are practicing inside and they make tremendous strides when we are together, the hard part is not being able to orchestrate them when they are out on the field. Rather than stay in their spaces or zones they tend to group up when the ball hits the wall and allow their opponents to get in behind them. When our goalie get the ball we allow the other team to get in between our goalie and us causing cheap goals frequently. I need to be on the field more and the field needs to be smaller from them. There is a reason while USA Youth Soccer has recommended field sizes and numbers of players per team. 3v3, 4v4, etc. http://www.usyouthsoccer.org/index.html

On the other hand we have seen great single game goal keeping efforts from numerous girls and Ruby plays keeper like her hair is on fire and it's good action to watch her get after it. Previously, I mentioned that we are playing up, if I have one piece of advice for any parents with five and six year olds playing soccer. Play in your age group. We have no business playing under seven and thankfully all of the coaches we have gone against don't run it up on us and try to work on things. So for them we are nothing more than a practice. We are getting better and they are still having fun I have to remind myself to keep my focus on fun. I confess that at times I'm not loving it as much as I should. The only reason for that is I am looking at this from the wrong perspective. Losing sucks to me and I get down when we don't play well. The girls aren't that interested in winning and losing. Scoring a few goals, being with their friends outside of school, possibly getting to hang out after the game with a friend, and potentially fruit snacks (kid crack) these are the things important to a six year old girl. Written by a thirty three year old man. wow.

Lying to Your Kids

I got caught in bold faced lie...by my three year old.

You know you try to do the right thing, read to your kids every night before they go to bed, say a prayer, and then think of an excuse to get the hell out of their room. They just want you to lay by them because it makes them feel safe and happy. Somewhere deep in your mind you remember how comforting it was to have mom or dad lay down for a few minutes and help you go to sleep.

For the past year after finishing reading with Alice I would say,  "I'm going to take a shower okay, time to got to sleep."

She would respond, "okay Daddy come in here after."

I dropped this little white lie because I knew that if I told her that, she would fall asleep when I was in the shower so I wouldn't be coming back to her room. Innocent ruse I would play on her because I shower at work after I get done working out, so I don't typically shower at night before bed. Most of the time I would just tell her I'm taking a shower and go watch the news or some sports.

Last night my bluff was called. "I'm going to take a shower, time to go to sleep Alice."

"Daddy?"

"What's up kido?"

"How come sometimes when you say you are going to take a shower I never hear the water come on?"

Damn, damn, damn. How do I squirm out of that one? I decided to come clean and explain that it's time for her to be a big girl and go to bed after we get done reading and praying. I apologized for not telling her the truth and was truly humbled by a three year old.

We want our kids to be happy and strong and in our want for them we end up protecting them from stuff that makes them happy and strong. Having her grow up and realize that someone isn't always going to be next to her making everything alright is just part of growing up...for both of us.

beingbenkeefe: Taking a Beating Like a Man

beingbenkeefe: Taking a Beating Like a Man: "I heard the game was a bit lopsided?" says Mrs. G. "Lopsided? Thanks for being kind." I replied. This was the email conversation I had...

Taking a Beating Like a Man

"I heard the game was a bit lopsided?" says Mrs. G.

"Lopsided? Thanks for being kind." I replied.

This was the email conversation I had with one of the kid's parents on my soccer team following our 15-1 beat down at the hands of Legacy Lady Fireballs. Legacy Lady Fireballs, the name alone should give you some expectation of what we will be facing in our first year of indoor club team soccer. After just typing that sentence I am beginning to understand the astonishment of my wife when I told her that Ruby's team would be playing U7 (that's seven and under - big difference than under seven) indoor soccer this Winter.

Pink Elephants, Yellow Bugs, White Lightning, and now the KC Kicks. In the two years we have been together we have gone from seven girls to nine and only losing one of the original seven along the way while gaining three more. So the Kicks are growing, becoming friends, and having fun. In an effort to increase our fun I signed up our team for the Winter session at the Tiffany Athletic Zone a brand spanking new facility in Northwest Kansas City. Originally, I signed up the team for U6 but the Director of TAZ asked me if we would be interested in playing U7. This is where communication between me (the coach) and the facilities director could have been much better. I was under the impression that she asked us to move up to U7 because they were short on teams in Girls U7 and they didn't have many Girls U6. Both are true but I construed them in such a way I thought it was in everyone's best interest if we moved up. Ultimately I think it will pay off but first we are going to learn to take a beating like a man.

Saturday was that beating. I swear it looked like the other team were pros. At least a head taller, built like tiny Hercules, fast as cheetahs, and with moves like Jagger they overwhelmed us. Remember, most of these girls we will be playing are seven years old, are all on club teams, practice three times a week, and play all year long. Next summer will mark the first full year of our team playing almost all year long with practices once a week. Thankfully, the Lady Legacy Fireballs are coached by an acquaintance of mine and he is using games against us like a competitive practice. The league is pretty inexpensive so it's worth it. They passed it around, back to their goalie, off the wall and nearly half volleyed one into the goal, it was breathtakingly good soccer.

Part way through the second half the assistant director came over and told the referee to stop  changing the score. It was 11-1 at the time. Nonsense, we kept score ourselves and I told the girls at the end of the game what it actually was and I told them to be proud of the game they played. We had a few firsts here that should be mentioned.


1. Our first game with a goalie (mind blowing to most of them)
2. Our first game indoors ever.
3. Our first 6v6 game.
4. Three new players on the team
5. Our first time playing a club team
6. We took our first penalty kick
7. We scored our first indoor goal ever

I love these kids, they never once put their heads down, cried, or got gave up. They may have been defeated on the score board but we won a victory in our hearts and minds. We are going to take some more of these defeats and as long as the parents can have the same intestinal fortitude as these little girls we will be just fine. We can play with anybody.

Merry Christmas From the Kids

Alternate Chili Run Race Recap

Factor out kids, wife, family, and friends and there is nothing I enjoy more than running in the woods with my dog. Saturday morning at Wyandotte County Park in Kansas City, Kansas was nearly the perfect morning for me. All that was missing for me was the dog aspect of this equation but that is not because I lack for the dog. Charlotte is going to be a formidable trail companion but due to her age and occasional lack of well developed coordination I left her home this time.

The aptly named, "Alternate Chili Run" takes place once a year on the same day as the "Chili Run". MARA (Mid-America Running Association) is the organization that puts on the Chili Run to raise money, take running shoe donations, and further the growth of running and healthy lifestyles in the Midwest, a laudable goal to say the least. The Trail Nerds, a local group of avid trail runners and maintainers hosts a cornucopia of races each year. I try my hand at the 50K's with numerous DNF's from these as badges of honor. I have three DNF's in my racing career all at the hands of Bad Ben and his wicked trail runs. I love it. Here is a snipet from the website with FAQ's about this "run".

How much is the run?
$5, which the Trail Nerds will donate to ERTA, a trail-building organization.
Why aren't there bib numbers?
Because it's a fun run not a race.
Where does this start?In parking lot.
Is it timed?No
How will I know where I'm going?
You won't so you better follow someone who does.  

The last line is the best but so true. Finally, the last words of wisdom Bad Ben hands out before the run starts deals with pacing. He asks how many people haven't ran out here before. Numerous hands go up. He then proceeds to tell them that if they run a seven minute mile for a half marathon be prepared to run a nine minute mile and if they can pull that off, that's really good. You can hear the trail virgins exchanging remarks like this.

"Nine minute mile is good? No way man I can smoke that."

"Add two minutes to my pace and that is good, man we will be going slow."

Oh wait and see, just wait and see.

As we all started out on a picturesque morning, twenty degrees, clear blue sky, slight breeze, perfect running weather two gentlemen were out in front of me. I was amazed that I was so close to the front. While this is just a "run" it is hard for anyone to not "race" just a little. After about two minutes one guy had already fallen back so it was just one in front. One minute later after rounding a sharp downhill turn he asked me if I have ran out here before. This is like my home when it comes to running so I said yep and he asked me to lead. Three minutes in and I'm out in front. This is a mixed blessing, my intention was to run hard but not all out. Now I found myself pacing a newcomer to this trail and didn't want to let him down. We screamed around that ten mile loop. I blasted down the hills and tried to use that momentum to get up the other side. This is partially impossible due to the aggressive nature of the downhill and the wicked slope of the uphill.

The most enjoyable part of the whole run was the fact that if this guy would have been by himself he would have been lost. It's nice to be counted on and this trail and it's light marking make it nearly unfollowable if it's your first time. There is one section called Fester's Wanderer (it was created by a dog, I'm serious) that you can literally get lost ten yards in; it's fantastic. We whipped around that section and managed to come out blazing. At last we made it to the final three hill section that just flat out kicks your ass and I had to walk about 20 yards at the top, the guy behind me says to me, "thank God this is killing me."

The whole time I was afraid I would let him down by not going fast enough and he was secretly wishing I would slow up. Sometimes a simple, "how are you feeling" would do wonders. As we rounded the top of the final hill you could see the rows of cars parked at our start shelter.

"That's a welcome sight," says the young man behind me.

"Indeed."

I managed a 1:28:01 for a ten mile loop which is my fastest loop ever. I hopped in my car, rode home, and had a fantastic rest of my day. The rewards of hard work for me are as simple as sitting on my couch and playing with the kids. Relaxing feels so much better after a hard race, excuse me, hard run.