Last weekend was a marathon in soccer coaching. Six games in two days may not seem like a lot but when you are the person responsible for motivating, coaching, correcting, disciplining, encouraging, and loving all these kids it can wear you down. Stress is another energy sucker. The closer the games the tighter and more squeezed I become inside. I was abundantly positive this weekend, trying hard to build up and praise rather than focus on mistakes. It worked but it forces me to swallow the stress and internalize it. Unfortunately for you, this is where I let it back out.
On Saturday my little's each had a game. Both of those teams are in the Youth Development League. One of them probably shouldn't be but they are really starting to hold their own. My Little Pink's would have tied on Saturday had then not scored on themselves twice and my Little Yellow's beat an undefeated team that day and set themselves up for a battle for league supremacy on Sunday. My Big's won both their weekend games, too close for comfort but a win is a win and they were pumped.
That brings us to the Little Yellow's U6 YDL game on Sunday. Three things everyone should know about coaches. We have great ears, meaning we hear everything, two we always know what the stakes are, and three we all copy each other. The first two were on display on Sunday. I have a rule that the first girls at the field warming up are most likely going to get to start. Interestingly enough, the three that I would want to start were there first but they were talking about how tough this other team was and that we were probably going to lose. This type of talk infuriates me. If that is the mindset going in then you have already lost. I relate this to wrestling because you see it all the time in individual sports. If you don't believe you can win then you are going to lose nine times out of ten. I have no empirical evidence other than listening and seeing body language that tells both the coach and the opponent what's going to happen.
I immediately nipped that talk in the bud. "Why would you think that? Have we played them before? Have we lost a game this year? What makes them so good." I fired these questions at my girls. They stammered and tried to explain they have a new girl who is really good. I was exasperated, "we are really good! Don't you know how good we are?"
This is a fine line. My oldest daughter is very talented but I find when I tell her she is great or praise her too much she takes it for granted and does not work as hard. I have been trying not to praise too much while still encouraging and teaching what needs to be done to get better.
Knowing the stakes came from hearing the other coach tell his girls that if they win they are in first place. I knew this as well and use it for motivation but I have been instilling in the girls this season is that we aren't going to lose a single game, and if you don't lose any games you will always be the best.
The girls warmed up and were ready to play. They all got to start in their favorite spots so the vibe was good. We play four twelve minute quarters and at the end of the first quarter it was 4-1 us. When they came off the field I asked them, "Do you think we can beat them now?" It was easy to see the buy in at that point. Tactically, at the start of the second quarter is where I made a mistake. I have a girl on this team who could hold her own at the U8 level, not physically but technically. She was begging to play defender. I acquiesced and she proceeded to let two goals go in, in about three minutes. She was looking at me nearly in tears and yelled, "I don't want to play defense." I yelled back, "You said you wanted to play now play hard."
We went into the half winning 6-4. It easily could have been 6-2 but it's U6 soccer and anything can happen. The third quarter was an up and down affair, we scored two more but they scored two as well. It was 8-6 going into the fourth quarter and the tide turned. All of a sudden, they scored three more to take the lead and the girls were shocked. At this point, the parents, grandparents, and families were into the game big time. We scored one to tie it up and then with about three minutes left scored another. We were now back in front 10-9. Tactically, we were set up well. I had my best defender in goal and we needed it. She made at least four great plays to break up scoring chances and when the final whistle blew I was whipped. The constant up and down action, the passing, defensive stands, great shots, it had everything. It's hard to remember they are five and six years old.
As the girls shook hands and the other coach and I went to sign the score card we both just laughed and said that was the best U6 game we have ever been a part of. The referee said it was the best game he ever reffed and I just shook my head. Relief was what I was feeling more than elation. We were the better team and losing when you are better is a bitter pill to swallow.
I walked to my car and shared some kinds words with the other coach. It was a great game to be a part of on both sides. He knows that my team is better and the fact that they almost won is a testament to the good coaching he does and the no quit attitude of his team. We play them one more time this season and I can't wait.
On Saturday my little's each had a game. Both of those teams are in the Youth Development League. One of them probably shouldn't be but they are really starting to hold their own. My Little Pink's would have tied on Saturday had then not scored on themselves twice and my Little Yellow's beat an undefeated team that day and set themselves up for a battle for league supremacy on Sunday. My Big's won both their weekend games, too close for comfort but a win is a win and they were pumped.
That brings us to the Little Yellow's U6 YDL game on Sunday. Three things everyone should know about coaches. We have great ears, meaning we hear everything, two we always know what the stakes are, and three we all copy each other. The first two were on display on Sunday. I have a rule that the first girls at the field warming up are most likely going to get to start. Interestingly enough, the three that I would want to start were there first but they were talking about how tough this other team was and that we were probably going to lose. This type of talk infuriates me. If that is the mindset going in then you have already lost. I relate this to wrestling because you see it all the time in individual sports. If you don't believe you can win then you are going to lose nine times out of ten. I have no empirical evidence other than listening and seeing body language that tells both the coach and the opponent what's going to happen.
I immediately nipped that talk in the bud. "Why would you think that? Have we played them before? Have we lost a game this year? What makes them so good." I fired these questions at my girls. They stammered and tried to explain they have a new girl who is really good. I was exasperated, "we are really good! Don't you know how good we are?"
This is a fine line. My oldest daughter is very talented but I find when I tell her she is great or praise her too much she takes it for granted and does not work as hard. I have been trying not to praise too much while still encouraging and teaching what needs to be done to get better.
Knowing the stakes came from hearing the other coach tell his girls that if they win they are in first place. I knew this as well and use it for motivation but I have been instilling in the girls this season is that we aren't going to lose a single game, and if you don't lose any games you will always be the best.
The girls warmed up and were ready to play. They all got to start in their favorite spots so the vibe was good. We play four twelve minute quarters and at the end of the first quarter it was 4-1 us. When they came off the field I asked them, "Do you think we can beat them now?" It was easy to see the buy in at that point. Tactically, at the start of the second quarter is where I made a mistake. I have a girl on this team who could hold her own at the U8 level, not physically but technically. She was begging to play defender. I acquiesced and she proceeded to let two goals go in, in about three minutes. She was looking at me nearly in tears and yelled, "I don't want to play defense." I yelled back, "You said you wanted to play now play hard."
We went into the half winning 6-4. It easily could have been 6-2 but it's U6 soccer and anything can happen. The third quarter was an up and down affair, we scored two more but they scored two as well. It was 8-6 going into the fourth quarter and the tide turned. All of a sudden, they scored three more to take the lead and the girls were shocked. At this point, the parents, grandparents, and families were into the game big time. We scored one to tie it up and then with about three minutes left scored another. We were now back in front 10-9. Tactically, we were set up well. I had my best defender in goal and we needed it. She made at least four great plays to break up scoring chances and when the final whistle blew I was whipped. The constant up and down action, the passing, defensive stands, great shots, it had everything. It's hard to remember they are five and six years old.
As the girls shook hands and the other coach and I went to sign the score card we both just laughed and said that was the best U6 game we have ever been a part of. The referee said it was the best game he ever reffed and I just shook my head. Relief was what I was feeling more than elation. We were the better team and losing when you are better is a bitter pill to swallow.
I walked to my car and shared some kinds words with the other coach. It was a great game to be a part of on both sides. He knows that my team is better and the fact that they almost won is a testament to the good coaching he does and the no quit attitude of his team. We play them one more time this season and I can't wait.
1 comment:
Wow Ben. I know how it felt watching any of my kids play a sport and now I have a better idea of how it would feel to coach. Nice job! Keep writing. Love ya. Mom
Post a Comment