Learning to Swim

Talk about an amazing couple of weeks in the swimming lives of my little ones. I have to share this story and I would imagine that most of you will or have a similar story you can tell. Ruby has been doing her best to get better on floating on her own and swimming from me or Emily to the side of the pool. Headstrong is a good way to describe her but stubborn as a mule is more apropos.

With summer upon us and with Emily taking the kids to the pool almost daily I was wondering how long it would take for Ruby to really get it. Yesterday she got it. The YMCA has a multicolor, coding bracket system to identify the ability levels of swimmers. Similar to the Department of Homeland Security "threat level" warning system. Green is for "swimmers". They can swim in any part of the pool and don't have to have parental supervision...unless they are under eight (sorry Ruby). For homeland security this means you are free to travel throughout the country to large outdoor venues and you probably will only be partially groped by security.

The second level of swimming ability is Red. This is for those who haven't taken the swim test yet but are older than five. All this really means is if you drown wearing one of these you are pretty old and it's another way for kids to tease and make fun of each other. "Hey Tommy, I see you still can't swim on your own, you loser." Hey kids are harsh but don't feel too bad for Tommy, he is thirty two. In homeland security parlance, Red is for eminent death. Terrorists are probably standing next to you and you are more than likely going to die. Be prepared for full cavity searches and possibly more action than you've had in a long time when you go through security.

The final YMCA swim level is Blue. This is for all "non-swimmers" and kids under five and their parents. I rock my blue swim band even outside the pool so people might think I have been clubbing or somewhere exciting. Alice sports her blue band with pride but God forbid I put it on too tight and she can't dangle it. God help us if their is no dangling. In homeland security parlance blue is for guarded. You should keep your awareness up and keep your eyes open for any strange looking fellows who happen to be sweating and wearing explosive vests. The explosive vests are usually a dead give away and it's usually a strong indication of terrorist activity.

The big news is that Ruby is now a green level swimmer. It was pretty freaking awesome. The YMCA test is to swim the length of the pool (25 meters) that's 82 feet or 27 yards for all my Republican friends, without stopping, touching the wall or the lane divider. I mean I get tired swimming that far let alone a five year old. Emily and her went to the lap lane to practice and see if she could possibly do it. She made it in practice so of course Ruby wanted to do it right away. They went and got the lifeguard who administers the test and she jumped in and was on her way. She does her own version of the crawl/breast stroke and ever so slowly bobbed her way down the lane and made it. They put her name in the official "swimmer" book and gave her the coveted green bracelet. I don't think she could smile any bigger. My eyes got a bit moist but I just put my head underwater and opened my eyes so I could contribute any watering eyes to the chlorine. Man, she was thrilled and so was I.

Now if she could just ride a bike...

Memorial Day Staycation

This is my foray into the pantheon of blogs discussing the merit of staycationing and tips and tricks for a successful staycation.

It must be noted that the idea of staycationing isn't new but the term is and therefore we must act like it's an idea that has never been discussed before and how much smarter we are than old people. Creating new terms is pretty awesome and certainly makes old ideas seem new and fresh and makes us young people feel like we are contributing something wonderful instead of giving credit to AAA and a host of other travel services that have been talking about this stuff forever.

Our adults only vacation starts next week out in Colorado so in an effort to be the fair and exciting parents we like to believe we are I thought it would be a good idea to do something cool. After much consultation with my five year old, camping and roasting marshmallows in back yard won out. We have done a few time before and it really is a good time, plus they like to believe that it is so crazy to sleep outside.

This was going to be a particular adventurous evening with my five year old niece staying with us as well and bringing my youngest into the mix.  That meant three little ones in the tent with me which isn't really problematic just uncomfortable but we are roughing it!  Thankfully, I have a big ass tent.  It's a Coleman Max Tent 13 X 9 big mother.  There are a multitude of sweet things about it. One, it is easy to put up.  I am no camping enthusiast and it took me about 15 minutes to get this sucker operational.  Two, it has two big rooms inside, one for me sleeping in and one for the three girls. Three by having a zippered wall as the divider, I was able to put on some amazing shadow puppet shows which were mind blowing and quite impressive. As a side note, this made me think about the possibilities of adult shadow porn. Shine a giant light behind you while your doing it and then film the shadow that's projected on the wall.  You are probably thinking this is an incredibly inappropriate side bar to a wonderful story about staycationing. Well the entrepreneurial spirit moves through me at all times and I'm doing my part to save America.

Let's get this back on track. The tent is up and the girls are bouncing around the inside. They proceed to bring out nearly every blanket, pillow, and stuffed animal we own in an effort to make the inside just like their rooms. After they complete the decorations I am off to Dollar General to get a sweet new grill. For all of seven dollars I get the perfect, tiny grill to roast some marshmallows and as night falls we start the fire. Roasting marshmallows with three girls under five is like a game of musical chairs but no chair is ever removed. They just keep rearranging themselves in an effort to stay out of the smoke. I try to explain they are fighting a losing battle but they figure they can outsmart the wind so more power to them.  After I finish eating my tenth marshmallow I tell them it's time to head into the tent. I normally don't gorge myself on marshmallows but my kids really just like to watch them burn in the fire and have no interest eating them so I pick up the slack.  This experience does give us time to talk about the dangers of fire so it's not a complete waste. 

As we hunker down into the tent and the shadow puppet show ends, they ask if they can watch a movie. I try to explain to them that we are camping and how do they expect to watch a movie if we are in the woods. They counter with "batteries" as their answer. Touche. I run inside and get Matilda, which is a good flick but my god they have seen this about 50 times and I figured they could just act it out via shadow puppets but they say no to that one.

Finally, by 10:30pm they are all asleep. I run inside to check the weather and see that a storm is heading our way. At 2:00am I awaken to lightning and a torrential downpour. I am slightly concerned that one of our giant trees may get struck my lightning so I pick the up one by one, run through the rain back inside, put them in bed, and finally lay back down myself. In the morning they are completely oblivious to the fact that we were in a storm but they are pissed that they aren't in the tent. They look outside and see that everything outside the tent is soaked but they run inside it to play.  Later that afternoon, as I am putting all the pillows and such away, I notice an empty bag of marshmallows in the corner of the tent. It seems my little ladies had an entire bag for breakfast while yukking it up out there. Amazing.

After putting everything away and bringing some semblance of normalcy to my backyard they ask if they can camp in the house. I set it up down stairs sans tent and they live it up again that night. The Memorial Day 2011 Staycation is a success. My kids had a blast camping outside and inside of my house and we spent no money on gas, about ten bucks on a grill and marshmallows, and they have some memories to build on going forward. Pretty easy to do and a lot of fun. I have the best kids in the world.