"We are the Pink Panthers."
That, my friends, was my first managerial edict for T-ball 2010. This is my first foray into coaching a ball and stick sport. Having coached novice wrestling and YMCA "bitty" soccer, I am used to a more free form sort of play. Having bases, dugouts, innings, catching, hitting, throwing, helmets, basically roles and not to mention weapons, sorry bats, adds a whole new dimension to this sport.
Let's start at the beginning. When you go online to sign your kid up for a sport, they put a little box you can check if you would like to be a coach. Note: if you check that box you will be a coach. They try to make it seem like you "might" be a coach, liars. In my mind, once you click, an immediate, red flagged email goes flying through cyberspace to the program directors inbox. At the same time, their smart phone starts chirping and if they have an assistan,t they come banging on their door. The email notification says, "sucker" in the subject line.
"With great power comes great responsibility." Words to live by from spiderman's grandpa. Side note, most of the advice I've modeled my parenting and coaching from are derived from comic books or gangster rappers. You really can't go wrong with that combination of influence. I'm the texas hold'em of coaching, all in. You have to be. As soon as I got the team roster I sent out an email introducing myself, giving a little background, sharing my coaching philosophy, and generally sharing as much information as possible that will put the parents at ease. We are dealing with 4 and 5 year olds, who most likely, have not played t-ball and are only doing this because their parents signed them up. I can't speak for everyone, but my little one did not come up to me and say, "old man, sign me up for t-ball." Although in hindsight, that would be pretty awesome.
Next, I was sent the schedule of games and I picked up the shirts. As you probably already gathered, pink was the color for us. An email was sent out relaying that information and I got a few interesting emails in reply. There were a total of eight kids on the team, now there are seven and this is great. One concerned parent inquired about this being a coed team. I was under the impression this was a girls team but I told her I would get back to her. She got back with me later that day with an email that her son, Aubrey, would not be playing for us this year. She went on to justify her son's name by saying he was named after his great grandfather and that this is something that she should expect being that this name is becoming common for girls as well. While I appreciate her candor, I would be remiss not to point out that the latest data from the Social Security Administration has Aubrey as the 41st most popular name for females in 2009 and the 938th most popular name for males. That somewhat counters her claim that Aubrey is becoming popular for girls. You named your son a girls name and much like my dude friend Taylor, he is going to be pissed at you forever...seriously.
The next question repeatedly posed was about pants. Either, are they supplied, or what color should we wear. The concern about this kind of surprised me. My little one, plays hard, gets after it, and generally runs first and thinks about stopping last, but I was under no impression that she was going to be sliding into second or diving for a one hopper in the hole. Evidently, a lot of parents have these delusions of their child going Pete Rose and blasting the catcher into the backstop. Pretty heady stuff for a four year old especially given that fact that there is no catcher, stealing, or laying out for a line drive. Anyway, I did my best to waylay those visions of grandeur by stating the my girls will be wearing shorts and if pants are the way they want to go, whatever color you fancy.
On to game time. Make sure you introduce yourself to the other coach. Remember this is for fun and the better attitude and positivity you show to the other coaches and parents, your kids will learn that behavior. The kids, the parents, the grandparents are all looking at you for leadership and guidance. It is of utmost importance for you as the coach to model the way. Next step, everyone runs out to the outfield for pregame pep talk and fear eraser. I like to have all the kids sit and I kneel down as well. I ask them their names, how old they are, and if they have ever played t-ball before. I got one yes, so she's my ringer, and first baseman. By default, if you can almost catch, you are a t-ball stud.
Next comes the most important piece of coaching wizardry, "so I have an idea of the team name." I tell the kids.
"Pink Panthers. What do you think?" If it was nighttime the sound of crickets would be deafening.
"I will take that as a resounding yes."
"Okay guys (note they are girls so try to refer to them as the correct gender, hence gals, I have to work on that) we are going to run the bases. Who knows what base you run to first?"
One hand went up. "First Base." This from my old timer.
"Correct."
"Everyone what base?"
Weakly, "first base."
"I can't hear you. What base?"
Louder, "first base."
My father was a drill sergeant and that does come through to me every once in awhile.
"What base?!"
"FIRST BASE!!!!"
Lastly, I want the kids to feel like a team is something really cool and great to be a part of. So the final thing we do is bring it into a circle and everyone puts their hand in.
"Okay, gals on three we will say Go Pink Panthers. Ready?"
Everyone, "one, two, three, GO PINK PANTHERS!!!"
Two innings later, one skinned knee, one attempt to run to the pitchers mound, and two criers, the game is over and a success.
"Good job kids I will see you next Sunday."
Then a tiny little hand is pulling at my shirt, I turn around and see Jillian looking at me.
"Hey kid what's up?"
"What snack do we get next time?"
The priorities of a four year old.
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