beingbenkeefe

Soccer Madness and Lessons Learned

2012-02-10T09:32:00.002-06:00

It's been one of those months when you try to squeeze in a lot and potentially don't do justice to the things you squeezed in. Soccer has been something else. That is the most polite way I can describe it. We are in way over our heads and I have at times lost sight of the point and been too hard on the girls especially my own. Balance that with the fact we have gotten better every game, the girls keep coming and laughing and having fun but we keep making some of the same mistakes over and over again. I have finally realized how I can fix them but it's going to be hard to do until the spring season.

Right now we are practicing inside and they make tremendous strides when we are together, the hard part is not being able to orchestrate them when they are out on the field. Rather than stay in their spaces or zones they tend to group up when the ball hits the wall and allow their opponents to get in behind them. When our goalie get the ball we allow the other team to get in between our goalie and us causing cheap goals frequently. I need to be on the field more and the field needs to be smaller from them. There is a reason while USA Youth Soccer has recommended field sizes and numbers of players per team. 3v3, 4v4, etc. http://www.usyouthsoccer.org/index.html

On the other hand we have seen great single game goal keeping efforts from numerous girls and Ruby plays keeper like her hair is on fire and it's good action to watch her get after it. Previously, I mentioned that we are playing up, if I have one piece of advice for any parents with five and six year olds playing soccer. Play in your age group. We have no business playing under seven and thankfully all of the coaches we have gone against don't run it up on us and try to work on things. So for them we are nothing more than a practice. We are getting better and they are still having fun I have to remind myself to keep my focus on fun. I confess that at times I'm not loving it as much as I should. The only reason for that is I am looking at this from the wrong perspective. Losing sucks to me and I get down when we don't play well. The girls aren't that interested in winning and losing. Scoring a few goals, being with their friends outside of school, possibly getting to hang out after the game with a friend, and potentially fruit snacks (kid crack) these are the things important to a six year old girl. Written by a thirty three year old man. wow.

Lying to Your Kids

2012-01-12T09:28:00.000-06:00

I got caught in bold faced lie...by my three year old.

You know you try to do the right thing, read to your kids every night before they go to bed, say a prayer, and then think of an excuse to get the hell out of their room. They just want you to lay by them because it makes them feel safe and happy. Somewhere deep in your mind you remember how comforting it was to have mom or dad lay down for a few minutes and help you go to sleep.

For the past year after finishing reading with Alice I would say, "I'm going to take a shower okay, time to got to sleep."

She would respond, "okay Daddy come in here after."

I dropped this little white lie because I knew that if I told her that, she would fall asleep when I was in the shower so I wouldn't be coming back to her room. Innocent ruse I would play on her because I shower at work after I get done working out, so I don't typically shower at night before bed. Most of the time I would just tell her I'm taking a shower and go watch the news or some sports.

Last night my bluff was called. "I'm going to take a shower, time to go to sleep Alice."

"Daddy?"

"What's up kido?"

"How come sometimes when you say you are going to take a shower I never hear the water come on?"

Damn, damn, damn. How do I squirm out of that one? I decided to come clean and explain that it's time for her to be a big girl and go to bed after we get done reading and praying. I apologized for not telling her the truth and was truly humbled by a three year old.

We want our kids to be happy and strong and in our want for them we end up protecting them from stuff that makes them happy and strong. Having her grow up and realize that someone isn't always going to be next to her making everything alright is just part of growing up...for both of us.

beingbenkeefe: Taking a Beating Like a Man

2012-01-09T14:17:00.000-06:00

beingbenkeefe: Taking a Beating Like a Man: "I heard the game was a bit lopsided?" says Mrs. G. "Lopsided? Thanks for being kind." I replied. This was the email conversation I had...

Taking a Beating Like a Man

2012-01-09T14:15:00.002-06:00

"I heard the game was a bit lopsided?" says Mrs. G.

"Lopsided? Thanks for being kind." I replied.

This was the email conversation I had with one of the kid's parents on my soccer team following our 15-1 beat down at the hands of Legacy Lady Fireballs. Legacy Lady Fireballs, the name alone should give you some expectation of what we will be facing in our first year of indoor club team soccer. After just typing that sentence I am beginning to understand the astonishment of my wife when I told her that Ruby's team would be playing U7 (that's seven and under - big difference than under seven) indoor soccer this Winter.

Pink Elephants, Yellow Bugs, White Lightning, and now the KC Kicks. In the two years we have been together we have gone from seven girls to nine and only losing one of the original seven along the way while gaining three more. So the Kicks are growing, becoming friends, and having fun. In an effort to increase our fun I signed up our team for the Winter session at the Tiffany Athletic Zone a brand spanking new facility in Northwest Kansas City. Originally, I signed up the team for U6 but the Director of TAZ asked me if we would be interested in playing U7. This is where communication between me (the coach) and the facilities director could have been much better. I was under the impression that she asked us to move up to U7 because they were short on teams in Girls U7 and they didn't have many Girls U6. Both are true but I construed them in such a way I thought it was in everyone's best interest if we moved up. Ultimately I think it will pay off but first we are going to learn to take a beating like a man.

Saturday was that beating. I swear it looked like the other team were pros. At least a head taller, built like tiny Hercules, fast as cheetahs, and with moves like Jagger they overwhelmed us. Remember, most of these girls we will be playing are seven years old, are all on club teams, practice three times a week, and play all year long. Next summer will mark the first full year of our team playing almost all year long with practices once a week. Thankfully, the Lady Legacy Fireballs are coached by an acquaintance of mine and he is using games against us like a competitive practice. The league is pretty inexpensive so it's worth it. They passed it around, back to their goalie, off the wall and nearly half volleyed one into the goal, it was breathtakingly good soccer.

Part way through the second half the assistant director came over and told the referee to stop changing the score. It was 11-1 at the time. Nonsense, we kept score ourselves and I told the girls at the end of the game what it actually was and I told them to be proud of the game they played. We had a few firsts here that should be mentioned.

1. Our first game with a goalie (mind blowing to most of them)
2. Our first game indoors ever.
3. Our first 6v6 game.
4. Three new players on the team
5. Our first time playing a club team
6. We took our first penalty kick
7. We scored our first indoor goal ever

I love these kids, they never once put their heads down, cried, or got gave up. They may have been defeated on the score board but we won a victory in our hearts and minds. We are going to take some more of these defeats and as long as the parents can have the same intestinal fortitude as these little girls we will be just fine. We can play with anybody.

Merry Christmas From the Kids

2011-12-19T10:48:00.003-06:00

Alternate Chili Run Race Recap

2011-12-12T13:50:00.000-06:00

Factor out kids, wife, family, and friends and there is nothing I enjoy more than running in the woods with my dog. Saturday morning at Wyandotte County Park in Kansas City, Kansas was nearly the perfect morning for me. All that was missing for me was the dog aspect of this equation but that is not because I lack for the dog. Charlotte is going to be a formidable trail companion but due to her age and occasional lack of well developed coordination I left her home this time.

The aptly named, "Alternate Chili Run" takes place once a year on the same day as the "Chili Run". MARA (Mid-America Running Association) is the organization that puts on the Chili Run to raise money, take running shoe donations, and further the growth of running and healthy lifestyles in the Midwest, a laudable goal to say the least. The Trail Nerds, a local group of avid trail runners and maintainers hosts a cornucopia of races each year. I try my hand at the 50K's with numerous DNF's from these as badges of honor. I have three DNF's in my racing career all at the hands of Bad Ben and his wicked trail runs. I love it. Here is a snipet from the website with FAQ's about this "run".

How much is the run?
$5, which the Trail Nerds will donate to ERTA, a trail-building organization.
Why aren't there bib numbers?
Because it's a fun run not a race.
Where does this start?In parking lot.
Is it timed?No
How will I know where I'm going?
You won't so you better follow someone who does.

The last line is the best but so true. Finally, the last words of wisdom Bad Ben hands out before the run starts deals with pacing. He asks how many people haven't ran out here before. Numerous hands go up. He then proceeds to tell them that if they run a seven minute mile for a half marathon be prepared to run a nine minute mile and if they can pull that off, that's really good. You can hear the trail virgins exchanging remarks like this.

"Nine minute mile is good? No way man I can smoke that."

"Add two minutes to my pace and that is good, man we will be going slow."

Oh wait and see, just wait and see.

As we all started out on a picturesque morning, twenty degrees, clear blue sky, slight breeze, perfect running weather two gentlemen were out in front of me. I was amazed that I was so close to the front. While this is just a "run" it is hard for anyone to not "race" just a little. After about two minutes one guy had already fallen back so it was just one in front. One minute later after rounding a sharp downhill turn he asked me if I have ran out here before. This is like my home when it comes to running so I said yep and he asked me to lead. Three minutes in and I'm out in front. This is a mixed blessing, my intention was to run hard but not all out. Now I found myself pacing a newcomer to this trail and didn't want to let him down. We screamed around that ten mile loop. I blasted down the hills and tried to use that momentum to get up the other side. This is partially impossible due to the aggressive nature of the downhill and the wicked slope of the uphill.

The most enjoyable part of the whole run was the fact that if this guy would have been by himself he would have been lost. It's nice to be counted on and this trail and it's light marking make it nearly unfollowable if it's your first time. There is one section called Fester's Wanderer (it was created by a dog, I'm serious) that you can literally get lost ten yards in; it's fantastic. We whipped around that section and managed to come out blazing. At last we made it to the final three hill section that just flat out kicks your ass and I had to walk about 20 yards at the top, the guy behind me says to me, "thank God this is killing me."

The whole time I was afraid I would let him down by not going fast enough and he was secretly wishing I would slow up. Sometimes a simple, "how are you feeling" would do wonders. As we rounded the top of the final hill you could see the rows of cars parked at our start shelter.

"That's a welcome sight," says the young man behind me.

"Indeed."

I managed a 1:28:01 for a ten mile loop which is my fastest loop ever. I hopped in my car, rode home, and had a fantastic rest of my day. The rewards of hard work for me are as simple as sitting on my couch and playing with the kids. Relaxing feels so much better after a hard race, excuse me, hard run.

Roller Skating: Feels Like 1986

2011-12-08T09:15:00.001-06:00

Kansas City is like a giant amoeba spread out over a vast distance spilling it's shape in every direction. In those interesting shapes lay interesting cities. One of those cities has an amazing new slogan, "wake up on the right side...Riverside." When I first saw the billboard plastered in front of the Broadway Bridge headed to the Northland in Kansas City I laughed out loud.

You see Riverside as a bit of a reputation as a dichotomy in and of itself. You have a tremendous tax base consisting mainly of the Argosy Casino which allows for no property tax, fantastic public works, and a sliver of high income homes and businesses. On the other hand you have tremendous poverty, a higher crime rate than the surrounding area, the firework stand epicenter of Kansas City, and Red X. For more on the fireworks see my previous post Fireworks, Riverside, and Second Degree Burns

What Riverside also has is the River City Roll Skate Center a roller staking rink that is stuck in 1986 but making great memories in 2011. For the past four months my oldest daughter has been guilting me regularly to let you go the PTA skate party they host once a month. She has been unable to go because she has soccer practice on Wednesday nights and when you make a commitment you stick to it (thanks Pujols). Last night was the first time that she was able to go this year and we had a blast. Come to find out my youngest thinks skating is pretty badass too. She killed it in her Fisher Price skates and only came to say hello when she wanted something to drink. The fiercely independent nature of my kids always astounds me when they try something new and don't want any help.

From the carpet, to the arcade games, to the snack bar, skate rental, black lights, backward skate, limbo, dice game, and the dirty derby roller team smoking outside waiting for the kids to leave, it was like I was right back home. The only difference is the music which is pop hits from today. For nine bucks both girls were able to skate for two hours and get exhausted. I would certainly recommend the local rink for a good time.

Monkey Bars

2011-11-28T09:43:00.001-06:00

Here is Alice's first attempt at the monkey bars all by herself. Not to shabby for a three year old.

Here is a great song by Jurassic 5 called Monkey Bars as well: http://www.last.fm/music/Jurassic+5/_/Monkey+Bars

WORKMOSPHERE

2011-11-18T09:17:00.001-06:00

Perceptive Software has a tradition at Friday morning meetings to get some of the new hires up in front of 400-500 people and makes them answer questions and tell everyone a little bit about themselves. As palm sweating as this exercise can be it is a big part of creating our "workmosphere". What the hell are you talking about? Workmosphere? That's not a word. It will be.

We recently acquired a new company called Palace Athena out of the Netherlands and today a handful of their employees were made to get up in front and share. We have one question that is asked every time to every new employee and it is this, "if you could have any superpower, what would it be." One of our fine Dutch brethren shared this nugget.

"I have been in Shawnee for a few weeks, learning about the company, learning about your solutions, and if I could have any superpower it would be to take the 'workmosphere' from this place and take it back to the Netherlands."

Pretty powerful stuff. As the global economic uncertainty continues and as we continue to grow in 2012 it is reassuring to know that not only do I work in one of the best place in the United States, I work in one of the best places globally. One dash culture, one dash environment, one heaping spoonful of people, bake at 400 degrees, and out comes our worksmosphere.

Ruckus Run Kansas City

2011-11-15T14:30:00.001-06:00

I should have written this post about a week ago but life has a tendency to get in the way of writing. Not today. I competed in the 2011 Ruckus Run Kansas City on the 5th of November. It was held out at Valley Speedway in Grain Valley, Missouri. You can see the course for yourself here: http://www.runruckus.com/kc-course.html

For those of you pondering doing an obstacle style race, similar to Warrior Dash or Tough Mudder this is a good place to start. The race itself is four miles long with around twenty five obstacles. In this particular incantation, the course was flat but very muddy, so the speed during the times between the obstacles was tempered by the caked shoes and bleeding legs (more on that later). The race is also divided into waves, starting at 9:00am and going off every thirty minutes until 1:30pm. They scheduled a championship heat for 2:15pm. In order to qualify for the finals you had to finish in the top 10% of your division, not wave. My division was 0-44 men with the majority coming from the ranks of the 20-30 age bracket.

My race started at 10:30am and lucky for me because we got lost on the way there and missed the 10:00am wave that I hoped to run in. I wanted that one because my company, Perceptive Software, had organized a team of twenty people that were going to run together. I can tell you right now, my intention was to start with the team, but my goal was to beat all of their asses. As we lined up at the start the usual butterflies abounded in my belly as I jumped and shook the chill out of my legs. It was overcast, around forty five degrees, and had rained a few days before so I would say conditions were ideal. As I looked around it became rather apparent that I was grossly underdressed for this endeavor. All around me dudes had on gloves, high socks, trail running shoes, goggles, for a moment I had an oh crap moment but at that point what can you do. Also, in front of me were around ten guys, a few of them had various KCFD shirts on and looked rather serious. I was wearing my race running shorts, t-shirt, and mandatory headband. Not mandatory from the race officials, mandatory to my personal racing philosophy. As last minute instructions were blarred out from the starters megaphone, I could think only of how long it was going to take me to pass these fools.

BANG! Off we go! We started out with some baricades and then through a long straightaway calve deep mud, once we got through that we hit some walls and then up a steep slope with a rope. I had to have some help from the back on this one, as I chose the middle route (they were yelling at us not to take it) and some gent had to shove me hard on the backside so I could scamper up to the top. Once that debacle was behind me it was smooth sailing. After a variety of obstacles I was out in front and by myself after about a mile. The rest of the race alternated between completing an obstacle (walls, ropes, nets, mud, ramps) and running. I felt like I was carrying a good pace but I couldn't tell without mile markers and my watch was covered in mud it made me focus on how many foot strikes I was making per minute. While I do love math, it becomes difficult to do calculations when you are schimming along 15 foot high ranger bars.

Somewhere between mile two and three, I just started passing people from the previous heat. That must be discouraging. I am of the belief that you don't speak unless you are spoken to if you are passing someone. That is not to say you don't say, "excuse me" or "on your left" if you have to but telling someone, "good job" or "keep it up" when they are struggling or looking terrible is just pouring salt on your wound.

The finishing area on for this event was pretty cool. Both participants and spectators had to walk under one of the obstacles to get to the finishing area. My girls thought that was so cool. Watching grown people flounder around on netting while dripping mud was a sight to behold. Ruby kept remarking that mud was falling on her as she laughed and ran under the obstacle again. I saw my wife and kids when I entered that last area and they cheered me on. I flashed Emily the, I'm in first place sign, and she started pumping me up. I literally felt like I was dominating the obstacles, skipping ropes and just running up things. As I passed the final ropes and hit the finish line a rush of satisfaction hit me. I won my heat.

Regarding posting results, the Ruckus beats every other race I have ever ran. Literally five minutes after I finished they had updated and posted results. At that time I was fourth overall and second in my division. That meant I had qualified for the finals. I didn't run in them. Basically, I thought I had to work at the bar that night (ended up getting texted that I didn't need to come in) so I didn't think it made sense to make the family wait around for me to run just to race back home as soon as we were done. In hindsight, I should have done it. I think I would have gotten second place overall. I ended up 13th overall and 11th in my age group: http://racewire.com/ruckus_kansascity_results.php?firstname=&lastname=Keefe&town=&bibnumber=

The first place guy ran a 24:41 and I ran a 31:44. That dude was seriously hauling tail. You have to think it took at least four minutes to compete over twenty obstacles so that mean in actuality he wasn't running six minute miles but five minute miles. That ridiculous. The second place guy ran 28 minutes, I could have caught him if I was racing.

Finally, this race offered a couple of other things that were first times for us. Ruby got to run in the kids mini-ruckus. She tore it up but was disappointed because there were no mud pits. I was disappointed as well because there were no mud pits. Come on, these are kids they love mud. After hosing myself off and doing my best to get somewhat cleaned up I kept having this nagging feeling that the inside of my ankles were burning. Well this is what remains of a rope burn from ten days ago.

Sorry for the picture but words to not do it justice. I have this on both legs. One of the obstacles was a rope that you had to hook your legs around and pull with your arms to cross a span of about twenty feet. Who knew that rope burn was possible? I came to that realization when in the shower I thought someone had set fire to my ankles.

I look forward to running this again and I already signed up for my next adventure, the Tough Mudder Missouri. You can get shocked by 10,000 volts in one of their obstacles. Sounds fun!

Tough Mudder Missouri 2012

Thank You Sporting Kansas City

2011-11-07T14:17:00.002-06:00

It hasn't been twenty four hours since we lost the Eastern Conference Championship in our gem LiveStrong Sporting Park. Yes, I am that fan. I say we, our, us, etc., Some might say success has already came to Sporting when fans start to use those words and take ownership of the team. A vested interest has taken hold among casual fans and diehards alike where the wins and losses are felt deep down and take a few days to move past. This loss amazingly has taken me less than twenty four hours to get over and you know why, because Sporting gave me way more than I put in and for that I am grateful.

It started years ago, when I moved to Kansas City. At that time the Wizards played at Arrowhead and were basically viewed as a niche player in the sports and entertainment landscape. I played soccer for a long time and it is my favorite sport and it has long been my dream to have world class soccer in the town I live. We have that now. I watched games at Arrowhead, Community America Ballpark, and now LiveStrong Park and I have never in my life been in an sports environment like what I sat in last night. It was special and I will never forget the hours I spent singing, cheering, cursing, and praying for the boys on the field to get it done. Alas, it was not meant to be but this is a new day for soccer in Kansas City and as a resident of the metro, I would like to say thank you for a ton of things.

Thanks for not giving up on Kansas City as a soccer town. We love soccer here we just needed a home.

Thanks for the new home. I could belabor the point but it's not necessary. Take one step into LiveStrong Park or hell just look at it from outside and you can easily see that this is a cathedral to soccer. My daughter and I call it the house that Robb built but sometimes we say God.

Thanks for the new name. We love the Wiz and our chants prove it but it was almost like the re-branding was like a new birth. I know it is new, glitzy, and hot right now and that's good. It's better than starting slow but it seems extremely well thought out, professional, and classy. Stay classy.

Thanks to the account executives, marketing talent, sales staff, ticket takers, parking attendants, guitar pick girls, merchandise sellers, concessionaires, cooks, and janitors. These people and those behind the scenes make the experience at LiveStrong Park second to none. From the moment you arrive to the moment you leave you are taken care of and you can feel it.

Thanks to security both uniformed, plain clothed, and private. I sit in the Cauldron and you allow us to police ourselves. I never once felt unsafe, worried, or uncomfortable, even when the refs were blowing it and I thought we would strangle them.

Thanks to the owners, Neal, Cliff, Greg, Pat, and Robb. I mean no disrespect by not using your last name but it's actually a honor. We feel like you are part of us. You are fans, you live here, you come to the games, you spent a load of money to get to this point and deserve to reap the benefits of all your hard work.

Thanks to Robb. As you walk by the Cauldron before the game, with beer in hand, beard on face, and are yelling at us to get pumped that is amazing. You should hear what we say about you. "Here goes a real owner or hey here's Robb, and talk about a guy who wants to win. This guy gets it."

Thanks to the players. Jimmy, Michael, Korede, Matt, Omar, Teal, Julio, Aurelien, Daneil, Birahim, Kevin, Roger, Jeferson, Peterson, Kei, Jon, Eric, Scott, Chance, Lawrence, Craig, Soony, C.J., Luke, Seth, Milos, Shavar, Konrad, and Graham. You fellas are why we almost made it to the top of the mountain and you are the reason we will get there next year.

Thanks to the fans. I spend my games in the Member's Stand and certainly feel a part of something bigger than myself when I am there. As we sing and dance, hug and cry, the agony of the loss and the joy of the wins are so much better when you have friends to share it with.

This was the most enjoyable summer and fall I have had in years and Sporting Kansas City was the reason why. I can't wait for next season.

Thank God for Sporting Kansas City.

MOVEMBER - My quest for a mustache

2011-11-01T13:48:00.002-05:00

Hello Amazing People,

I am growing a mustache and it needs help. More specifically, my mustache needs your support. My face, focused directly on my upper lip, is on a quest to raise money for cancer research. You may be asking yourself, "Ben, while I know the will of your face is tremendous how will this help cancer research?" Great question.

The more money you donate to my mustache the more research, administration, overhead, development can go into finding new treatments, drugs, services, or programs to help fight cancers that effect men. Great answer.

You can learn more by visiting here: http://mobro.co/beingbenkeefe

It boils down to this, I need, "Mo money, mo money, mo money." This is not a reference to 'In Living Color' which is returning for two more shows. FINALLY http://www.ontheredcarpet.com/In-Living-Color-returns-to-FOX--produced-by-Keenan-Ivory-Wayans/8413199

So help me out, donate five bucks, and get updates on the status of my mustache. If nothing else my family Thanksgiving photos are going to be tremendous this year. Possibly just a sweet head-shot of me is going to be our Christmas card. Maybe I can superimpose a picture of the kids somewhere in it.

This video pretty much sums it up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTuKOgHI7GA

Please send this to your friends.

You can follow my adventure on twitter @beingbenkeefe

Peace,

Ben

Why You Trippin'

2011-10-27T09:54:00.002-05:00

Here is a highlight from Ruby's world premier performance of the Halloween Misfits. She is the light blue ghost.

Break Up White Lightning!

2011-10-26T08:55:00.001-05:00

What a difference a week makes. From worst to first. Well, not quite but we did put the hurt on the first place team in our league and that always feels good. If you remember last week (which I'm sure the three of you do) I lamented on the inability of my U6 Team to win a game and the complete loss of form by my dominating U3 Team. *side note: the terms dominating U3 Team shows the exact level of focus I demand from small children.

Oh how my faith in humanity has been reborn! First up was Alice and the mighty Orange Alligators. I have three goal scoring machines on my team and they were all ready to go. One lingering question from last week was answered by the Grandmother of one boy. This kid is going to be a stud. He knows how to dribble, shoot, pass, and even has one move (step-over) but last week looked actually lost on the field. At one point I thought he might cry and that is not his M.O. at all. His Grandmother, coincidentally named Alice, said that he didn't want to play the pink team anymore and when she asked him why he said because they are girls. A little boy who doesn't want to play with girls and is already developing a complex and coping issues. Sounds like the story of my life. Lucky for us this team was in gray uniforms and was mostly boys. We seriously may have scored 15 goals.

Ruby played a game on Saturday and Sunday. For the previous five games, I asked if everyone wanted to have fun, encourage them to play hard, and tried to get them excited to play. This time I decided to use a motivational tactic that was developed by the Mayans, brought up north by the Spanish and perfected by me. I asked them if they wanted to win.

"Do you really want to win this game?" I asked the team.

"YESSSSSSSSSSSS," they screamed at me.

"Well then you have to play hard the whole time and score more goals then them," I said. "Can you do that?"

"YESSSSSSSSSSS," they scream again.

My message boiled down to this. Run after every ball, kick the ball in their goal more than they kick it in ours, and we will win. This simple message resulted in a 7-6 win on Saturday and a 4-3 comeback win on Sunday. Their faces absolutely lit up when, after each game, they asked me if they won and I said yes.

I do find some hilarity in the fact that they act like they really want to win but keeping score requires too much concentration. I felt a slight twinge of sadness though in what it took to win. As much as I don't think it's all that important for them to win at this age, the only way to get them motivated to play hard the whole time was to stoke their competitive juices. I'm not naive, I understand that winning and competition are part of who we are as people and everyone, everyone likes to win it also provides the opportunity to make them deal with losing. The lessons learned from losing are even more powerful than what we learn from winning but like I always told my coaches when they told me that.

"You ask them what losing taught them and I will just stick to beating them."

Just Can't Win

2011-10-18T14:59:00.000-05:00

For the life of me I can't figure out why my girls team can't put a full game together. Is it the fact they are five and six years old? Probably. Is that a good excuse for losing four straight games? It is according to my wife.

While this might sound trite, I worry that the other parents are getting frustrated that we keep losing? I feel like I am being a good coach, trying to make it fun, and helping them enjoy sports and being on a team. Why then do I feel like such a failure this year to these girls? I know part of the answer. I hate losing. My wife and I try all we can to teach the kids it's NOT okay to hate but no matter what I do in my own life, the depression and obsession that come with losing is hard for me to shake.

You might be thinking? "Ben this is under six girls soccer we are talking about here." You are right and when I take a second to look back and really analyze it I know I am being rediculous but it's a bitter pill to swallow. Second, we had never lost until this year and now all of a sudden we aren't any good? That seems crazy to me. The girls practiced through the summer on their own with me and we kept showing improvement, but when the game starts the girls brains go into outer space.

I take some solace in the fact that the girls keep coming back, they all love playing with each other and no parents have yelled at me yet. Those are my sophisticated metrics for personal coaching success.

1. Do the kids you coach come back?
2. Do the kids like each other and do things together away from soccer?
3. Have any parents yelled at me?

I can answer all those positively. I guess I am fishing for a pick me up here.

Si Habla Espanol?

2011-10-11T09:21:00.001-05:00

Flabbergasted is the best way to describe my reaction.

Emily was at the gym, the girls were sitting at the table mowing down some ravioli, mandarin oranges, and potatoes with green beans and I was creating a chili masterpiece when Ruby blew my mind.

Alice asked me for a napkin due to the fact that I think she must hit her face with her ravioli at least three times before she gets it in her mouth. I mean it looks like someone was just throwing tomato sauce at her face. Anyway, after she tells me where mom keeps them, I grab a stack and start to hand them out. I put one next to Ruby and she says, "blanco".

"What did you say?" I inquire.

"That's white in Spanish Dad."

"Wow, what's blue?"

"Azul." Ruby says matter of factly.

We go through all the colors of the spectrum, ROYGBIV for those of you out there needing some help, and she pretty much nails them all.

My first reaction is to take credit and think about how working on this as a toddler is what set the foundation for her learning this now. Maybe, but probably not. What is working is that fact she takes Spanish in Kindergarten and is learning.

I ask her everyday, "what did you do at school today?"

The typical response is already, "nothing." I know that is not true.

My fears of her watching the clock and being disinterested are falling away and the realization on me is this. I need to find ways to tap the excitement for learning at school into a wicked half volley from the top of the box. I can dream.

Our New Dog: Charlotte Chocolate Milk

2011-10-07T09:41:00.001-05:00

I brought her home yesterday...and so it begins.

Two Stories in Youth Soccer Practice

2011-10-06T13:00:00.000-05:00

I haven't been doing a very good job at keeping up on giving soccer match or practice reports but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about them. To recap: Ruby is in the Under 6 Youth Development League, and Alice is in the 3 and Under Pre-Fun Soccer. Two entirely different beasts, and I mean beasts, to deal with but the threads from each woven together does create and interesting tapestry in the colors of soccer, coaching, friendship, and youth development.

White Lightning:

Overall: This team has been a real head scratcher this year. We lost our most highly skilled player but gained the ability to have more girls touch the ball and participate. In turn we lost our chief goal scorer but now other girls are scoring and gaining confidence.

Skills: We can pass, dribble, defend our goal, shoot the ball in the air, do the occational pull back or step-over which also leads to the inevitable ball surf: sliding over the ball and falling on your butt.

Games: We have seen a gradual progression from game one to now game three. We have lost all three which is killing me inside but I have to let that go. I have made each girl a sheet after the game that I email to their parents before our next practice with: 1. Things I did great 2. Things I need to work on 3. Homework for next week. The parents seem to like it and I hope the kids do as well.

Practices: They have been doing a great job in practice. Everyone has been coming consistently, the kids generally get along but things have been getting testier. Now that everyone understands and grasps winning and losing, scoring and being scored on, they want to win and some, like Ruby, want to win at everything.

Dangers: The kids are getting the ball in the air and kicking harder at every practice. I had my first kid get nailed in the check with an absolute bomb. Both girls were in tears. I felt bad but they are realizing that this happens. The elbows, shirt pulls, and running into each other is happening with more regularity and I need to work hard to correct this but I like aggression teetering on the edge of violence. Even for six year olds!

Orange Alligators:

Overall: This has been a learning experience for me. The main experience being I'm glad I have girls of my own and not boys. Damn they don't listen like the all girl team. They are running around, kicking the ball, scoring goals, generally being unpredictable and wild. The two girls on the team are certainly on the defensive and Alice is learning that no one will just give her the ball because it's her turn. Understanding that when the game is played for real you don't get a turn, you make your turn.

Skills: Understand that you have to score goals and not let goals go in our goal. Dribbling is coming along, kicking is getting better, passing is non-existent.

Games: We have won them all (we don't keep score...sure we don't). Only two kids really want to be out there the whole time and one of them is not Alice. That is a challenge. Getting them to come on the field and play. I have never had the problem with my all girl team.

Practices: Come on they are 3 we don't have practices. Alice kicks the ball with Ruby almost daily.

Dangers: Falling down, not getting a snack, getting stuck in the net.

I could go on but I want to leave you with a video of Ruby scoring a goal. I like to brag.

Mango Margaret Salsa 2006 - 2011

2011-09-30T14:50:00.000-05:00

Mango died today. I will miss her. A man might say, "ah but she died so young." To which I reply, "but a mighty fine five it was."

Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.

2011-09-30T00:08:00.000-05:00

Today I little piece of my heart broke. A tiny verbal knife opened me up ever so slightly and removed a tiny part of me that I guess I don't need anymore. Maybe as we progress as parents and see our children do the right thing without being told, part of our job as a parent ends. Maybe, just maybe, as we continue to try to influence our children positively and they embrace the freedom to make mistakes and be independent we are supposed to have those moments when we know they are growing up.

For the past two weeks I have been anxiously waiting for Ruby's first all school mass at St. Therese. Now that she is in kindergarten, once a week the kids get to come over as a school and celebrate spirituality, kindness, compassion, caring for the poor, and especially saying prayers to God and saying thanks for all the blessing in our lives. My wife has asked me not to share too readily my personal relationship with God on this blog and I respect her want of privacy. I believe all you need to know is that I have a relationship with God and even God thinks I talk too much sometimes. Go figure.

Back to the subject, my expectations were that I would roll into mass, sneak into the pew next to her, she would high five me or something close to this guys reaction:

In reality I saw my daughter age right before my eyes. After the opening introduction and prayers we took our seats and I learned over and whispered, "Are you surprised and excited that I came to your first all school mass?"

"Actually Dad, I was hoping I would get to go to mass by myself for the first time ever," she flatly responds.

Man, when she hits you with those giant brown eyes and the disappointment is palpable just by the way she is standing there you feel a little bad. I deserved the comment and I should have done a better job of thinking about it from her perspective. I spend so much time worrying about how things will affect me or in this case, make me look good I entirely failed to recognize the significance of this for her. She has been going to church for a long time, she knows all the calisthenics associated with the Catholic mass. She loves being a leader and setting an example for the other kids in her class and this was going to be one of those times and I took that opportunity away.

It wasn't that I'm not cool or that she doesn't want to spend time with me because believe me I was on the pity pot first. What's up is that the things we have been doing, and her teachers have been doing, and her grandparents have been doing, and her coaches have been doing are working.

She is growing up and taking little pieces of my heart with her as she goes.

Getting Your Butt Kicked

2011-09-27T07:29:00.000-05:00

It took me nearly 48 hours to get over the first serious ass kicking that White Lightning has ever received. I honestly believe I was in shock. It was like the past two years of practice and games and practice and games just fell out of their heads. I was dumbfounded. Ruby didn't score a single goal, didn't hustle after the ball, and asked if she could hang out on the sidelines with her friends rather than play. Are you kidding me?

I have come to the conclusion that:

A. having games at 2pm is not good for a bunch of kids who in the past year stopped taking naps. They look slow, tired, and unfocused.

B. They are five and six years old and losing has yet to carry any real pain.

C. Getting over to the playground after the game seems way more important than playing the game.

After the match I spoke with Ruby and tried to gauge her mindset or lack thereof. She pretty much said she tried her hardest (I highly doubt it) and didn't know what happened. I asked her if she understood they lost bad and she said yes. I asked her if she was upset and she said no and looked at me like I was crazy.

I think we are going to have a "soccer 101" practice on Wednesday and try to reset this season. I need to do a much better job.

I love these kids so much.

Looking Good is Half the Battle

2011-09-20T14:54:00.000-05:00

Naming conventions. That is what I am working on at work. I have been tasked to manage a project that creates naming conventions for all new opportunities generated in salesforce.com. If it were as easy as naming one of my kids soccer teams I would be done already.

Last Saturday marked the first organized team sport that my little Alice has ever participated in. Oh she does gymnastics and just started dance but as far as being on a team, this is her first foray into this world. Being the second child she has had the pleasure or torture of coming to Ruby's games, practices, backyard drills, since she could remember. You can tell as well because she seemingly understands the gist of soccer before we even had a practice. That puts her about a whole year ahead of any teammates who are the first kid or the only kid. For the ORANGE CRUSH we have four kids with older siblings and you can tell that we are going to dominate.

Our first practice/game was rained out and unfortunately I missed the update on the rainout line so I went anyway. We had four of my team's kids and picked up one who was as the fields but didn't have a coach or team (they must have call the rainout line). It was an exciting session of dribbling, running, kicking, scoring, and just having fun. We reiterated our three rules.

1. No hands
2. No kicking with your toe
3. No crying

We managed the first and third but the second is always a challenge at first. Needless to say, we had a lot of fun until the rain came but I felt like we got a bonus practice. We get to make this one up later so one extra session will just add to our dominance. My wife says I'm full of myself, she's probably right.

Finally, I would be doing a disservice if I didn't show you what Alice was sporting to her first game. Like this blog is titled. Looking good is half the battle...

and it helps to always have Curious George at your side.

How About White Lightning?

2011-09-12T23:23:00.000-05:00

7-6 Ladybugs beat White Lightning

I have to be upfront. If you would have told me that my U-6 soccer team was going to allow five goals in the first two quarters, look like they had never seen a soccer ball before, and would forget which side our goal was on, I'd a told you, go jump in a lake. Although that my friends, is exactly what happened in the first half of game one of the new Fall season. To be completely clear, we actually scored two of their goals on ourselves or the notorious, "own goal". In Columbia you can be assassinated for this: https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Andr%C3%A9s_Escobar

I did not want to assassinate any six and under girls but I certainly wanted to yell. Amazingly, patience and encouragement seemed to win the day over. We are pretty good. Anyone who has read some of my previous writings on coaching Ruby's soccer team will know that we are pretty talented. I have amazing parental involvement and support. The girls all seem to like each other and don't mind being there (well most of the time). We came out the first half and just looked like we weren't ready for anything. It was a bit hot outside, the middle of the afternoon sun, first game of the year, and you could see the lack of focus on the field. Ruby managed to hustle pretty well admittedly and scored two goals to keep it reasonable. We limped into halftime down 2-5.

I got out my trusty whiteboard and tried to diagram the field and the way we were going. I used something like this:

Whiteboarding and water seemed to do something. I also did my best to encourage and cheer even when I felt like yelling. I have to repeat, it's for fun, it's for fun.

In the second half I changed it up. I put Taylor, one of my new players to one of the striker positions and moved Ruby to the other rotation. We play three girls and then sub three girls and repeat four times with a total of 7 girls on the team. For my math sake we only had six girls show out of seven. For twenty minutes it was like soccer players crept into my teams bodies and they started to play wonderfully. Actual passing, goal saving hustle and defense, balanced scoring, and lots and lots of cheering. Ruby netter two more goals and our first timer ever playing a soccer game, Taylor deposited two goals in the back of the net. Two more rather weak goals were leaked in by our defense but take away our own goals and we have them. Thankfully, we play two more times this season so revenge will be ours.

My competitiveness runs a bit high at times but I have done better at channeling wanting to win, to wanting to have fun. As long as they keep coming back I we will have more second halves than first.

Oh yeah and our uniforms are white so I was thinking of our name being "White Lightning", your thoughts...

Coach of the Year 2011

2011-09-08T09:13:00.000-05:00

Sitting on the Board of Commissioners for the Southern Platte County Athletic Association AKA the Northland Sports Alliance I have the chance to meet so many great families, kids, and coaches. This time of year I also have the privilege of reviewing submissions for our annual Coach of the Year. I thought I would share the introduction and speech I wrote when we present him the award at our annual meeting. Please read below:

Often in coaching it is the things that the coach does offthe field that make the biggest differences on it. This year the NorthlandSports Alliance was again awash with nominations for coach of the year. This isnever an easy decision and it’s a nice problem to have. Lucky for us, goodcoaches have good support from parents and this particular winner was showeredin praise by his team’s parents.

This is from Melissa Hagg, “I think that Bill Meinersdeserves coach of the year for several reasons. The first reason is the amountof time that he dedicated to his volunteer coach position. Our son,Bradly has played for the SPCAA for five years, and this is by far the best hehas ever played. The Bill took the time to learn about each boys and theirstrengths and weaknesses, and helped to develop better skills at the same timeas building them up with kind words.

“The second reason he should be coach of the year is thetime he spent off the field to help these boys bond as a team. From T-Bonesgames, to pool and pizza parties, he encouraged the boys to become betterfriends and then better teammates. He even went so far as to employ strangemotivation tricks like wearing pink clothes and a pink cowboy hat just to helpmotivate and encourage the boys. Well it worked we started hitting and so didthe kids who hadn’t been hitting.”

This is from Joe Hagg. “Our coach makes baseball fun for thekids. He is a great guy and we plan on playing on his team next year. Put in100 votes.” (Actually 2 both parents sent separate emails!)

Finally from Steve Barron, “I would like to nominate BillMeiners for this as he is the most upbeat, positive coach my son has ever had.At the beginning of the year my son didn’t want to play baseball but to dueBill’s positive reinforcement, focus on fun, and team building attitude he loveit. Not only was there a positive attitude throughout the team, there wasmarked improvement from each boy on all skills, fielding, hitting, throwing,running, etc. My son now has 3-4 new friends and can’t wait to get back on thefield.

Sometimes in sports the competitive nature of the games justcomes out and people can lose sight of what sports are really supposed to dofor our kids. Help them grow up well rounded, healthy, with a positiveattitude, and some friends along the way. Bill Meiners not only coaches theskills on the field but he coaches the life lessons and values that sports provide.On behalf of the Northland Sports Alliance I would like to congratulate our2011 NSA Coach of the Year, Bill Meiners.

I am proud to be part of this organization.

The Bugs Are Back!

2011-09-01T08:27:00.000-05:00

Dribbling and kicking, scoring and laughing.
Hugging and loving, cheering and shouting.

The Bugs are back and they got some game.
Remembering things instead of having to retrain.

Keep your head up and pass to your team.
No toe, no hands, keep the ball on the seams.

100 degrees and the girls all want water.
Practice, pay attention, and you get what you want sooner than later.

One new kid who comes to us fresh.
Unspoiled by learning how to kick from her friends.

Spacings in important don't stand so close to eachother.
Pay attention to me and stop looking at your mother.

We lost one girl from the team this year.
She is playing club ball not so smart my young dear.

There is plenty of time to focus and specialize.
Why not have fun, play, laugh, joke and just socialize.

It's only a game and we will try hard to win.
Life isn't over if we let some goals in.

I'm pumped that the Bugs are officially back.
Fall NSA Soccer and we're ahead of the pack.

To all my kids listen up and you'll see.
Play hard, have fun, and here is to victory!

Northface Endurance Challenge Kansas City Race Report

2011-08-29T14:45:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had straight pins pushed into your legs all over at the same time. Not to mention, that while they are pushing the pins in they are pouring rubbing alcohol and salt on them. This is what my legs feel like 48 hours after completing the Northface Endurance Challenge 50K in Kansas City.

This was my first road 50K and actually the first 50K of any kind that I have actually completed. I have signed up for the Psycho Wyco 50K http://www.psychowyco.com/ and ran in the race three times and each time I have pulled out at 20 miles. I thought with this particular race, being that it's in my old hood and running on roads that I intimately familiar with, this would be fitting for me. The lead up to the race wasn't ideal by any means this time. I hadn't done any distance longer than 12 miles for about two months prior to this race and wasn't getting the amount of rest I normally get. Here is the background on my lack of rest.

I work two jobs, my full-time gig with Perceptive Software and I moonlight as a bartender at the Power & Light District in Kansas City. I am more of a substitute bartender but I have been working for them for around four years and they work with my schedule and keep me on the calendar, so I do my best to make myself available to them as needed. It's a very symbiotic relationship and I am gracious to have the opportunity to make some extra cash; it comes in very handy. As we approach Labor Day and the end of the busy season outside (I work outside in the middle of the Live Block at a bar called the Living Room) we are down to two full-time bartenders and myself. Well, this past week we had Hot County Nights on Thursday and they needed me. I woke up at 6:00am took Alice to school, went to Perceptive, ran five miles at lunch, worked until five, drove to the Power & Light, worked until 2:00am, came home, made a entire box of pasta, drank a half gallon of water, and went to bed by 2:45am.

Friday at 6:00am I woke up, took Alice to school, went to work, ate pasta all day, went to the Power & Light, worked the Survivor concert (that's right, the same Survivor that sings "Eye of the Tiger") left as soon as I could, got home by 11:00pm, laid out all my race stuff, hopped in bed by midnight.

Saturday (race day), woke up at 4:45am, got dressed, ate a banana, went to QuikTrip and got a Sugar-Free White RockStar Enegy Drink, ate a GU on the way to the race, parked and got to the staging area at 5:20am. All in all it was a whirlwind for the 72 hours before the race and certainly not the way I like to prep but I thought I could push through any problems during the race and my attitude is always one of, "hell I can sleep after the race!"

We hit the pavement at exactly 6:00am and were off. It was a bit strange when I realized I was starting off in the top five group. I don't consider myself too fast but it seems that as I branch out and run these longer distances, I am finding myself running more and more near the front. It feels pretty good but it's a new experience for me. I have my smart pace band on and am trying to ease out into the race using a warm up strategy. As normal, I go out a bit faster than I had anticipated and it will come back to bite me but I think my lack of training is what really bites me later.

It is pretty warm and thank heavens the race director made a point to mandate carrying sixteen ounces of fluid while on the course. I was going to run with a ten ounce bottle and I needed all sixteen at numerous points throughout the race. Around mile thirteen I had ran a 1:38 half and a bit under on my pace to run a sub four hour 50K. Here was my entire thought process around what I thought my time should be for this distance via my internal monologue.

"Ben, you have ran a 3:01 marathon, you can run five more miles in 59 minutes can't you?"

"Sure I can, I mean even if I run slower, I will still have plenty of time."

Perfectly logical in my mind, in hindsight, I am a dumbass. I had trained religiously when I PR'ed my marathon and wasn't in that shape but I felt I could do it. This was mapped out in my head all by myself, but a great woman once told me, "never go into a dark alley all by yourself and the same thing goes for your mind." Point taken.

To speed things up around mile twenty I get passed by Michael Wardian, a ultra running superstar and a very nice individual all the same. He started 30 minutes after the rest of us and will end up beating the rest of us by around an hour by averaging nearly sub six minute miles for the whole race. Insane. At mile twenty three I realize this is going to be a struggle. My legs hurt, I am hot, I'm tired, and I haven't even made the marathon yet. At mile 26 I come through at 3:16ish. That is a pretty respectable marathon time but that is the last respectable thing I will do during this race. It takes me one hour and two minutes to run the last five miles. I had been averaging 7:36 per minute for the first 26 miles and an astonishing 12:28 per minute for the last five miles. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Talk about bonking, hitting the wall, choking, whatever, I had wasted a perfectly good marathon by adding the extra five on the end. It's too bad I signed up for the extra five at the end.

Anyway, after I tripped the line at 4:18:35 seconds http://www.sportstats.ca/display-results.php?lang=eng&racecode=100791 I struggled over to the recovery tent and collapsed into a chair. Luckily my posse was there to support me, Alice, Ruby and Emily all ready to cheer me up and help me out. About fifteen minutes later we hobbled over to my car and I drove home. I tried to lay down but that didn't really help but I managed not to crap this time, that's a bonus. My wife has a Tens Unit from her car wreck that we thought might help me with the soreness. I have never used one or really new what they did. As she place the four electrode pads on my legs I should have known better. When she turned it up my legs went straight as boards my muscles went tight as bricks. It wasn't very helpful.

On Sunday, I took a walk with the kids and the dog and started to feel a bit better. If nothing else my confidence is back and I am looking for the next one to sign up for. Sucker.

Kids in Stadiums - What is Tolerable?

2011-08-17T23:30:00.000-05:00

Just got home from the 3-1 victory by Sporting Kansas City over the Portland Timbers. When I new the best soccer specific stadium was being built in my backyard, it wasn't fathomable that I would pass on the opportunity to be a season ticket holder. Never in my life have I been a season ticket holder for anything. Not sports, art, culture, music, or venues. This was a once in a lifetime situation to be part of something special and there won't be an inaugural season at LIVESTRONG Sporting Park again. That's right. LIVESTRONG Sporting Park. No where else in the country has a professional sports team decided that instead of selling the naming rights to the highest bidder, they would go the opposite way and put a philanthropic organization on the door. Sporting Kansas City is actually paying them to put their name on that. How refreshing. Talk about being good citizens and taking corporate responsibility to another level.

I wanted to get my thoughts down about an incident that happened tonight that has been sticking in my craw. My two tickets are in the Members Stand. It was and still is known as the Cauldron or Blue Hell. It is where the diehard supporters who sing, chant, and dance stand the whole game are located. You could sit but you wouldn't be able to see and someone would probably yell at you. This is where I wanted and chose to buy my season tickets. It's a lot of fun and it feels good to be around fans that are as passionate as I am about the beautiful game. Sporting has done an excellent job in marketing and developing a business plan that will grow membership in the club and season ticket holders by allowing anyone to sign up and become a member. By being a member, you can reserve up to three individual tickets (one per game) and see a three games for free. It's a way to get people in the new stadium and show them the high level of product they are selling. By being in the Cauldren, you can't help but have fun and enjoy the atmosphere, while planting the seed that this is a good value proposition and the ROI becomes pretty clear. My only suggestion on this plan is to tell the greeters, when someone comes in the members entrance, to ask them if this is their first game. The Cauldron is where the free ticket seats are and that takes up the entire north end of the field but there is a section of seats along the northeast corner that are available as well. I would encourage first timers with kids to sit over there and if they don't mind a bit of rowdiness to move to the end section at the half.

The reason I would think twice about letting small kids sit over there is the language. Tonight, there were two gentlemen who were coming to their first Sporting match. Ruby and I got there early (it was Omar Bravo bobblehead night) and we wanted to make sure we were front row about twenty yards from the northwest corner of the field. See the picture below to see how close to the corner we were.

By the way that's Graham Zusi who scored two goals tonight. The second by being the right place at the right time and the fiirst by putting a wicked strike on the ball and scoring a fantastic goal. Anyway, these two guys, especially one in particular were being rather obnoxious, drunk, cursing for no reason and ripping people in the crowd. They obviously were more interested in what was going on in the Cauldron than what was going on, on the field. One dude kept commenting on how the songs were lame, people looked weird, and yelling at the players for no reason. Freedom of speech is something I feel passionate about so I exercised my freedom and asked him if he was going to continue to worry more about how cool he was or if he was going to cheer for Sporting. He didn't take to kindly to what I said but just huffed, puffed, and said no more. Long story short, Ruby and I left at half because we were up 2-0 and it is a school day tomorrow.

What irked me is not the colorful language he was using, I like to be salty at times with my speech, but rather his lack of awareness of his surroundings. His ticket was free but let's say for instance he paid $100 dollars and felt he needed to get his money's worth. Would he really have had less of a good time if he wasn't dropping f-bombs and calling the opposing goalie a fag? Has the bar really been set that low that we have come to accept that in sports it is okay to be disrespectful to people simply because we paid the price of admission. Now these two were the exception not the rule based on the first ten or twelve games I've gone to, it just makes me disappointed that we have lowered our expectations of individual behavior.

I told Ruby before and after the game that I wanted to apologize for some of the language she was going to hear and that in no way do I condone it, but by taking her I feel like I am condoning it by my actions. There is a quote that is sometimes attributed to Mark Twain saying something to the effect of "don't let your schooling get in the way of your education." My kids understand what is right and what is wrong. The values we are instilling in them will overshadow the poor actions demonstrated by anothers especially when Emily or myself are there to discuss the actions or words in question. I believe that if we do this enough that the right choice will be made even when we are not there.

This is a fairly disconnected entry and I'm not really looking for a resolution. What I'm hoping is that more people will take a moment to think about others for a second before they decide what path they are going to take. The damn golden rule.

Wild West Relay 2011 - Get Your Ass Over the Pass

2011-08-16T10:21:00.000-05:00

In the word of the Geto Boys, "damn it feels good to be gangster."

This is how I feel three days after completing the 2011 Wild West Relay or more affectionately known "Get Your Ass Over the Pass". This is a Colorado long distance relay running (and sometimes walking or even dragging) 200 miles from Fort Collins to Steamboat Springs chopped up in 36 legs. Here is the synopsis of the course.

"This Colorado relay race begins by the foothills of the Rocky Mountains in Fort Collins, and finishes in the beautiful ski and summer resort town of Steamboat Springs. Held on open public roads, much of this very scenic and remote course runs through National Forests or on dirt roads. The route winds through Roosevelt, Medicine Bow, and Routt National Forests, and through small, mountain and ranching communities."

If you want to dig into the guts of what this race is all about click on this link: http://www.wildwestrelay.com/relay_101/index.html

I am more interested in telling the story of my team or better yet, my version of our story. This is the second incantation of team "Beer Run". For the second consecutive year, twelve men and women joined forces to kick the shit out of the Rocky Mountains and have a damn good time doing it. And for the second year in a row we had a damn good time and the mountains kicked our ass. That is not to say we did not compete; we did. Our team was made up of ten women and two men. All of us are reasonably athletic and have differing levels of running fitness and strengths. As befitting of Colorado, bicycling is another strength of some of the members of the team and while it certainly helps with the level of fitness, unfortunately they don't let you ride a bike and believe me we could have used one.

Our race started on August 12th at 5:20am. The organizers ask that you submit your average 10K time to determine what time you will start in an effort to keep the teams relatively spread out. Only ten teams started before us so you might think we are slow and your thinking would be correct. Please don't misinterpret this as bagging on my team. Averaging a ten minute mile over nearly 10,000 foot peaks, without stopping is no small endeavor, just let it be known that the team that won averaged 5:57 per mile over those same mountains, dickheads.

Having loads of experience from the previous year we decided to let Van 2 sleep in and just send Van 1 to the start. As noted via the aforementioned link, teams of 12 have two vans, one active and one inactive. six runners in one and six in another. Van 1 runs legs 1-6, then Van 2 meets them at the first team checkpoint and they run the next 7-12 legs. This is repeated until all 36 legs done. For those of you doing the math at home, that's three legs apiece and around 16 or 17 total miles for each person. Not too daunting when you parse it up like that but considering you have teams of 6, 4, 3, and even 1 soloist, you can make this thing an incredible test of endurance if you are so inclined. We are inclined to have fun and build friendships.

As much as I would love to give you a breakdown of all 36 legs that would be a supremely tiresome effort on my behalf and I really don't think you would care. What you care about is why I feel like a gangster, more on that later.

I was in Van 2 and was able to keep the same three legs I had last year. Leg 7 was around four miles half downhill and half uphill. Leg 19 was nine miles up a mountain with no flats. Seriously, it started around 7400 feet at Woods Landing and ended 72 minutes later at 9200 feet on top of some peak. Leg 31 was about six miles up Rabbit Ear Pass. Last year, it almost mentally broke me but this year I put a damn good run on it. Van 2 was filled with the same six runners as last year with the exception of my sister, Colleen, in Van 1. She broke her collar bone taking a header over her handlebars while mountain biking and had to pull out of the race at the last minute in 2010, which allowed us to have our very own driver. This year she was in Van 1, running her three legs which was cool, because she is a great runner, but kind of a bummer because I love hanging with her and didn't have that same chance. The order of runners in Van 2 were as follows with a brief description of each participant.

Runner 1 - Me - Dad, Husband, Son, Brother, Coach, Friend, Runner, Social Media Influencer Extraordinaire, Tree Hugger, Granola Eater, Do-Gooder, Headband Wearer, facial hair novice. I have been trying to run fast for about two years now, not all the time, only when I'm running and it has been paying off. I managed to best my times in each leg this year which is what I set out to accomplish.

Runner 2 - Todd - Teacher, friend, focused, thoughtful, mid distance runner, excellent third row van sharer. Todd, had several moderate legs with both inclines and declines. He doesn't complain and goes about his business just don't talk to him right after he finishes. His wife Anne, is in the other van, and was the organizer of our team. That is a thankless position and she deserves a ton of love for all her hard work. Thank you so much. That wraps up the male portion of our entrants. He did rock an excellent headband this year but complained later that it was squeezing his skull. The picture below is a fairly representative example of Todd at all times, relaxed, cool, and rocking the Ramones!

Runner 3 - April - Competitve, hard working, methodical, mid to long distance runner, focused, generous, and fun. She got dinged with some pretty challenging legs this year. She managed to best all of her previous year's times as well and did it while running through about seven blisters on her feet. I will spare you any pictures so use your imagination. Basically, in an effort not to slow down and delay the team she ignored the pain in her foot at the beginning of her leg and paid the price later. That is the type of effort embodied in our team. Willing to put the team ahead of personal health illustrates the members of Beer Run. We were running for fun but the competitve juices and team spirit managed to influence runners in both vans to keep plowing on even when they could have easily asked to stop.

Runner 4 - Laura - She is a long distance specialist and is very comfortable with long hard runs. Her attitude is one similiar to mine in the fact that she doesn't seem to worried about the legs she is running or the conditions she is in. Personal indulgence are the rewards she seeks and the cheeseburger and fries from Carl's Jr. was the golden ticket she was running for. I am the same way. Why bust your ass and run across a mountain if you aren't going to get to enjoy some pure, delicious goodness via artery clogging fast food. I love it. I feel like I am repeating myself saying that she had some difficult legs as well, we all did, the whole race is hard but she not only ran faster times than last year, her last leg she managed sub eight minute miles. That's pretty badass.

Runner 5 - Beth - A welcoming soul who never locks her front door. That should tell you a bit about her right there. She trusts you to make the right decision and she gives you the freedom to do so. She is also our resident physician and go to for all things medical related.

"Can I take 12 Ibuprofen at once," we ask.

"Sure if you don't mind peeing blood," she replies.

Sound advice and words to live by. Any pain in your foot, ask Beth. Your legs are sore, ask Beth. You have some puss coming out of your...never mind.

Beth is another of the non-complaining type of runners and that seems to be a common thread in our Van. She manages to best her times on all of her legs as well although her and our next runner Kara switch legs this year. It seemed to work out fairly well.

Runner 6 - Kara - How do I start this description? We have an official race binder that holds all the pertinent information about the race and detailed leg maps of each stage. I think Kara looked at her leg maps at least five times before each run. I don't necessarily want to deem her a worrier but she allows herself to get wrapped up in nervousness. She shouldn't be nervous though, she has an excellent natural stride, the gait of a small deer. Her nervous anticipation before each leg and her shear joy after ending each one are refreshing. All of us get nervous before we run because we want to do a good job, we don't want to let our team down, and we aren't 100% sure how our bodies will react. I mean most of us don't stay up for 24 hours and basically run three 10k's very often. I ran the very last leg of the race with Kara and her husband, Dan. We were her support team and it was helpful for her to keep her going. It was hot, she was tired, and it was the last five miles of a 200 race and I thought it would be nice to run with her and try to take her mind off the pain.

I could run through the other van but I am not as familiar with those folks, with the exception of my sister, all I know is what was shared via this email...by Meg Brown

"I HAD A FAB TIME TOO! What a fun...and tiring race. Van 1 was a hoot. So many things to laugh about...bears; the ringtone for Amanda's mother; child proof door (and being stuck in the car if your arms were not long enough to reach through the window and open the door; Amanda the 6'7" husband runner; the runner we thought was a hurt, stumbling, bent over Ann (which would have allowed us to christen her "the hunchback back runner of Notre Dame")...who ended up not being Ann thank goodness; Ann's "I am going to be sick pull over" followed by a soft "I cannot get out of the car" (Yep, the darn child proof door); the 5 of us casually watching Mel truck up a dusty, hot, step Deadman's Pass until Mel, in response to our "do you need anything" reminded us to take her picture, causing us to jump into action and run after her with cameras like we were paparazzi; my awesome Road Crew moment when I was too busy talking to Humpal-Otts Van and did not notice Ann running by wanting water; Mel eating/drinking pasta from a baggie; getting shot with Nerf bullet by random Van; "Gotta get-get, gotta get-get, gotta get-get, gotta g-g-g-get-get, get-get BOOM, BOOM, BOOM gotta get-get BOOM, BOOM, BOOM"; Colleen banning us from her leg; Ann D. almost having to do a dive off the road to avoid being hit by idiots (not funny...but memorable); Amanda's rocking (and twisting) third leg on a bum leg; Ann G.'s final sprint; picnic at the top of Rabbit Ears; Amanda hiding behind the people getting their picture taken in front of the Rabbit Ears Pass sign and giving them "bunny ears". Thanks again Mel for letting us use your/Larisa's car. Thanks for driving Jen."

P.S. Thanks Ben for driving back to Fort Collins with me. Would have been a long trip without the company.

Regarding that ride back to Fort Collins. I had to jump on a plane the next morning and fly back to Kansas City to be with my wife and kids. They are nice enough to allow me to travel out for this race so it's the least I can do to get home fast and not miss much time with them. I took the trip back with Meg Brown, the author of the above email about Van 1. We spoke for maybe two minutes prior to riding back so we weren't old friends or really even acquaintances but we have mutual friends and just raced on Team Beer Run so it was all good. Meg is awesome. The conversation was awesome, the drive itself was awesome, and the burgeoning friendship was awesome. Again, another benefit running has brought into my life, new friends and new ways of thinking.

Finally, I was tweeting back and forth with a member of team "Uncomfortably Log Hug" and she asked me if I had any tips I would share with people thinking about doing this race. I shared them with her and thought it was be fitting here as well.

1. Get a Driver – having someone drive so that all the others in the van can rest helps.
2. Get a Big Ass Van – the more room the better.
3. Travel Light – I took a different pair of socks, shirts, underwear, and headband for each leg, plus a hoodie, one long sleeve shirt, my favorite pair of running shorts, and one pair of warm pants. That’s all. Gloves are optional but my hands were cold on my night leg run.
4. Eat Light – I ate the same pre-race meal before each leg. Banana and half a sandwich. I never ate to full. You don’t have enough time between legs to digest your food and end up feeling heavy and lethargic.
5. Sleep is Overrated – you run a marathon in 3 or 4 hours and run 30 -40 miles in 24 hours. You don’t sleep during a marathon so why do you need to when you are running in separate legs. Most of us aren’t used to staying up for 24 hours straight so you may want to practice that once before you head out for the relay.
6. Run Like You Train – I had two “very hard” category legs with loads of elevation gain and little descend, therefore I ran lots of five and seven mile runs on the treadmill uphill the entire time. We don’t have any nine mile hills in Kansas City.
This isn’t advice so much as it is things that worked for me. I ran the same three legs this year that I ran last year and was faster on all three of them. I even managed to get up leg 31 “Rabbit Ears” in less than 45 minutes.

That's all I got folks. Team Beer Run 2011 finished in 67th place overall and 12 in the Mixed division. While it is still up in the air as to whether we will field a team next year I am always down with a reunion tour. Oh and you may be wondering why it feels good to be a gangster? Well, it's because the gang I run with just kicked some ass.

Peace and Love to all my old and new friends.

The Big Jump - High Dive Style

2011-08-03T20:18:00.000-05:00

At the ripe old age of five my eldest jumped off the high dive to my sheer delight. She's awesome.

Kicking Ass and Taking Names - Ruby Style

2011-07-15T09:06:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday we wrapped up the Grand National AAU Judo Championship in Kearney, Missouri. This was the second tournament that Ruby had ever participated in and probably her best. She got to experience the high was winning her division, and the disappointment of finishing second in the combined bracket (boys and girls). My big takeaway from the whole event was the she hates losing just as much as me. When she got beat by a young boy in her finals match she came off the mat with her head high but started crying as soon as she got over to me.

"Did you try as hard as you could?" I asked.

"Yes, but I don't know what happened," said Ruby.

"Talk to your coach and then take what he says and we can practice to get better and not make the same mistakes." I said.

"Okay Dad."

I cried when I lost all the way through high school. It was part passion, disappointment, and temper but in the end it made me work harder. I hope she channels that the same way I did.

Check out her sweet takedown and pin in the girls finals match.

Why Compete? by Kenney Brink

2011-07-08T08:19:00.000-05:00

I am taking a moment to share a piece written by my daughter's Judo coach. It speaks to why I encouraged Ruby to do this sport and why we need more coaches like Kenney Brink.

In a recent conversation I heard someone say, “It’s better for young players to focus on the fundamentals of the game instead of winning and losing. There can be a lot of anguish associated with com-petitive sports for young players”.

It got me to think about how the kids in the class were talking about some of the other entry level sports that they competed in and how they don’t keep score, there are no winners, everyone gets to bat or shoot the ball there are no team trophies. Everyone gets the same generic award and the same generic end of the season party. Life isn’t generic; competition varies in every day functions. I believe that many youth sports are missing the coaches and parents who know how to set the essential ground rules for healthy competition for their athletes.

Since our club was formed, I’ve witnessed an underlying fear or reluctance by many of our kids to compete in a tournament. Some of the kids that do compete are so overcome with anxiety that they struggle to perform during the match. After speaking too many of the kids after the match about how they thought it went, many just answer “I don’t like to compete” or a parent will inform me that they are “afraid it will ruin my child’s confidence.” Judo is a tough and challenging physically and mentally. No one has ever gained confidence without having overcome a significant personal challenge. A parent who shelters their child from challenging situations will keep their child
from developing the vary skill they want their child to learn.

My personal belief on this matter is that competition is an important valuable and critical element of our society. Every child, during the course of his or her lifetime must compete in some form. It may be for grades in school, on the playground with friends or even in the work place for advancement. At some point a child must be empowered with philosophies and values about competition. Reflecting on my own childhood I began to realize that not everyone has had the advantage of experiencing a unique coach or leader who was able to instill a positive philosophy about competition that I had. There are many parents that don’t understand the attitude towards healthy competition.

Through my years of coaching I’ve watched children quit because of a bad experience they had during a tournament. Regardless of the sport or child, it can usually be traced back to parents, coaches or a family member who is solely focused on winning and that the child learns to associate losing with failure. Many times losing for these kids’ results in a verbal or physical punishment. It makes sense why kids don’t like to compete?

During a tournament we ask that a child does their very best, gives 100% effort during the match and utilizes the skills that they have been taught. Winning is not based on the end result of the match but what happened during the match. Did the child gain ground on an opponent that they had lost too previously, did they work in the new technique they just learned, how did they handle themselves after the match was over, regardless if they won or lost. If the end result is a victory…great, but should they lose, then it is my responsibility to figure out why and help them improve. As the child matures this becomes a team effort. This approach empowers the child to focus on something within their control, personal performance. It teaches them to ignore things outside their control, like the draw of the bracket, referees, or what color the opponent’s belt is. It’s a simplified approach to focus on one thing which allows the child to be more suc-cessful.

In our program, we teach self-confidence, self-discipline, self-control and self-respect. These are all life skills that are acquired as a result of an extended participation within our program; these are not skills that can be taught within one or two sessions. One of my fundamental beliefs is that empowering the child’s belief about competition will help them become more self reliant, mentally tough and self confident. By avoiding competition kids may be missing out on the real lessons Judo has to offer.

Why Compete?
By Ken Brink

Getting Older - It's Not All Wrinkles and Late Night Pees

2011-07-05T23:51:00.000-05:00

It has been a good month that is for sure. It hard for me to imagine a better time in my life than the present. While this may seem somewhat contradictory considering the sluggish economy, the wars being fought over seas, and political acrimony and negative partisanship of our current political climate, on the whole my life has never been better. I apologize in advance if this comes off as being particularly braggadocios but I believe if you read this to the end you will find it's more about a perspective on living life on life's terms and not being controlled by things you can't control.

About a month ago I was lucky enough to spend almost a week in Colorado with my best friends in life. These are my four best guy friends in the world, one best chick friend, my wife and their significant others. For full disclosure one guy, who shall remain nameless, let's just say he always has someone significant in his life just never significant to come along, is one of the four best dudes. In total 11 people who, if I had to pick, I would live with on a deserted island and eat them if I had to. That's love. All of us with kids left them with the Grandparents (thanks Dad) and managed to work it out that we could all make it there. Only two of us live in the same town so our logistics were challenged but easily overcome. For nearly a week, we were able to eat, tell the same stories again, golf, ski, hike, run, play Frisbee, shoot pool, sit in the hot tub, play games, and just chill. I am old enough now to appreciate how lucky I am to be blessed with such stand up people in my life and how regardless of other perceptions of you early in life, if you do the right thing, life usually works out. We are going to do this again next year and are already planning.

The day after we got home my wife and my two beautiful, young daughters were seated outside the 18 yard box in LiveStrong Park (home of Sporting Kansas City) to watch the United States Men's National team play Guadaloupe in the pool play portion of the Gold Cup. Electric is the only way to describe it. 20,000 USA fans packed to the gills signing songs, wailing on the horns and drums, dancing and supporting the team like no other. It was one of those moments where you feel so much pride to be an American and being blessed with the opportunity to share this with my girls and plant the seed for their love of this game was awesome. Five years ago, if you would have told me I would be a season ticket holder to a professional soccer team in Kansas City, I probalby would have asked if you were ill. Now, not only do I get to sit front row for the opening season of the best soccer specific stadium in the United States but so do my girls. For a month now, it's been soccer, goals, signing, dancing, and sharing one of my passions with the loves of my life.

Every Wednesday this summer I have been doing a continued soccer practice session for the Yellow Bugs. The girls from the rec team join Ruby and I at a school by my house to kick the ball around and learn some new skills. They bring their friends and siblings, we keep it informal and fun, while the parents sit in lawn chairs and laugh at me while I run around. They get hot, the fall down, they don't feel like running sometimes, and they every once in a while cry (that is breaking rule number three) but they keep coming back. I don't get paid, nor do I want to. Again, it's about doing something I love and sharing it with someone.

Last week, we made our annual trip down the street to Parkville for the July Fourth weekend Carnival. Ruby is now tall enough to ride some big kid rides and thinks she is the bomb! Little Alice even gets in on the act riding the scrambler with just Ruby and her cousin. It's pretty amazing to see how independent they are becoming and how much sassier they can be. Dear God they act like they know everything. I have no idea where that got that from.... Anyway, the carnival was moved to the high school due to Missouri River flooding but no homes in Parkville have been affected and the sandbags are holding to protect the businesses so not all is tragic. Our family river park is underwater and explaining a flood is more challenging than I thought but it is a good lesson on helping others and how we must be respectful of mother nature.

Last night, we got back in town from a fantastic trip to Iowa to see my Mom, step Dad, my sister, my niece, nephew, and Uncle John. Great bonding time, very relaxing, and great conversation. Not to get to personal but my family has undergone some serious changes in the last ten years and it finally seems to be getting normal again. Time does heal all wounds, even the deep ones, they just take longer and you have to keep them clean. After a weekend of good food, water gun fights, parades, fireworks, a live band, dancing, a bounce house, and a day at the lake we enjoyed a great ride home. I highly recommend driving from Des Moines to Kansas City from 8pm to 11pm on July 4th. It's like a giant fireworks extravaganza.. In every direction you look you see bright bursting flowers on the horizon while smoke pours across the road like a stage at a Phish concert. Eerily magical.

Finally, today my oldest nephew turned 14 and yesterday my old man turned 65. My dad is currently set to ride across Iowa with his older brother in Ragbrai. Two old men riding over 300 miles in their 60's for fun. I pray that I live my life that way and make it to that day as well. I have learned many lessons from my Dad and my nephew, each entirely different but meaningful in their own way. I used to think no one could teach me anything and that I could do it all on my own. Each day I allow myself to listen to others, not judge, and try to just be myself, things have a tendency to work out okay.

You know my car needs four new tires, my house is worth almost 10% less now than when I bought it, we don't have a whole lot in savings, and sometimes my kids make me lose my cool but you know what, life is certainly been good to me. I guess what I am trying to say is we all have a lot of things we can stress out on and there are times when the pressures of work, home, school, relationships, and change seem overwhelming. What I am finding is that if I honestly look at my life on balance I shouldn't complain about anything.

Today I was able to get up, go to work, run at lunch, watch Ruby at Judo, eat some dinner, read a book to my Alice, and write this blog. I have one more thing to do and it involves saying thanks to someone much greater than me. Amen.

Learning to Swim

2011-06-24T14:06:00.000-05:00

Talk about an amazing couple of weeks in the swimming lives of my little ones. I have to share this story and I would imagine that most of you will or have a similar story you can tell. Ruby has been doing her best to get better on floating on her own and swimming from me or Emily to the side of the pool. Headstrong is a good way to describe her but stubborn as a mule is more apropos.

With summer upon us and with Emily taking the kids to the pool almost daily I was wondering how long it would take for Ruby to really get it. Yesterday she got it. The YMCA has a multicolor, coding bracket system to identify the ability levels of swimmers. Similar to the Department of Homeland Security "threat level" warning system. Green is for "swimmers". They can swim in any part of the pool and don't have to have parental supervision...unless they are under eight (sorry Ruby). For homeland security this means you are free to travel throughout the country to large outdoor venues and you probably will only be partially groped by security.

The second level of swimming ability is Red. This is for those who haven't taken the swim test yet but are older than five. All this really means is if you drown wearing one of these you are pretty old and it's another way for kids to tease and make fun of each other. "Hey Tommy, I see you still can't swim on your own, you loser." Hey kids are harsh but don't feel too bad for Tommy, he is thirty two. In homeland security parlance, Red is for eminent death. Terrorists are probably standing next to you and you are more than likely going to die. Be prepared for full cavity searches and possibly more action than you've had in a long time when you go through security.

The final YMCA swim level is Blue. This is for all "non-swimmers" and kids under five and their parents. I rock my blue swim band even outside the pool so people might think I have been clubbing or somewhere exciting. Alice sports her blue band with pride but God forbid I put it on too tight and she can't dangle it. God help us if their is no dangling. In homeland security parlance blue is for guarded. You should keep your awareness up and keep your eyes open for any strange looking fellows who happen to be sweating and wearing explosive vests. The explosive vests are usually a dead give away and it's usually a strong indication of terrorist activity.

The big news is that Ruby is now a green level swimmer. It was pretty freaking awesome. The YMCA test is to swim the length of the pool (25 meters) that's 82 feet or 27 yards for all my Republican friends, without stopping, touching the wall or the lane divider. I mean I get tired swimming that far let alone a five year old. Emily and her went to the lap lane to practice and see if she could possibly do it. She made it in practice so of course Ruby wanted to do it right away. They went and got the lifeguard who administers the test and she jumped in and was on her way. She does her own version of the crawl/breast stroke and ever so slowly bobbed her way down the lane and made it. They put her name in the official "swimmer" book and gave her the coveted green bracelet. I don't think she could smile any bigger. My eyes got a bit moist but I just put my head underwater and opened my eyes so I could contribute any watering eyes to the chlorine. Man, she was thrilled and so was I.

Now if she could just ride a bike...

Memorial Day Staycation

2011-06-01T10:31:00.000-05:00

This is my foray into the pantheon of blogs discussing the merit of staycationing and tips and tricks for a successful staycation.

It must be noted that the idea of staycationing isn't new but the term is and therefore we must act like it's an idea that has never been discussed before and how much smarter we are than old people. Creating new terms is pretty awesome and certainly makes old ideas seem new and fresh and makes us young people feel like we are contributing something wonderful instead of giving credit to AAA and a host of other travel services that have been talking about this stuff forever.

Our adults only vacation starts next week out in Colorado so in an effort to be the fair and exciting parents we like to believe we are I thought it would be a good idea to do something cool. After much consultation with my five year old, camping and roasting marshmallows in back yard won out. We have done a few time before and it really is a good time, plus they like to believe that it is so crazy to sleep outside.

This was going to be a particular adventurous evening with my five year old niece staying with us as well and bringing my youngest into the mix. That meant three little ones in the tent with me which isn't really problematic just uncomfortable but we are roughing it! Thankfully, I have a big ass tent. It's a Coleman Max Tent 13 X 9 big mother. There are a multitude of sweet things about it. One, it is easy to put up. I am no camping enthusiast and it took me about 15 minutes to get this sucker operational. Two, it has two big rooms inside, one for me sleeping in and one for the three girls. Three by having a zippered wall as the divider, I was able to put on some amazing shadow puppet shows which were mind blowing and quite impressive. As a side note, this made me think about the possibilities of adult shadow porn. Shine a giant light behind you while your doing it and then film the shadow that's projected on the wall. You are probably thinking this is an incredibly inappropriate side bar to a wonderful story about staycationing. Well the entrepreneurial spirit moves through me at all times and I'm doing my part to save America.

Let's get this back on track. The tent is up and the girls are bouncing around the inside. They proceed to bring out nearly every blanket, pillow, and stuffed animal we own in an effort to make the inside just like their rooms. After they complete the decorations I am off to Dollar General to get a sweet new grill. For all of seven dollars I get the perfect, tiny grill to roast some marshmallows and as night falls we start the fire. Roasting marshmallows with three girls under five is like a game of musical chairs but no chair is ever removed. They just keep rearranging themselves in an effort to stay out of the smoke. I try to explain they are fighting a losing battle but they figure they can outsmart the wind so more power to them. After I finish eating my tenth marshmallow I tell them it's time to head into the tent. I normally don't gorge myself on marshmallows but my kids really just like to watch them burn in the fire and have no interest eating them so I pick up the slack. This experience does give us time to talk about the dangers of fire so it's not a complete waste.

As we hunker down into the tent and the shadow puppet show ends, they ask if they can watch a movie. I try to explain to them that we are camping and how do they expect to watch a movie if we are in the woods. They counter with "batteries" as their answer. Touche. I run inside and get Matilda, which is a good flick but my god they have seen this about 50 times and I figured they could just act it out via shadow puppets but they say no to that one.

Finally, by 10:30pm they are all asleep. I run inside to check the weather and see that a storm is heading our way. At 2:00am I awaken to lightning and a torrential downpour. I am slightly concerned that one of our giant trees may get struck my lightning so I pick the up one by one, run through the rain back inside, put them in bed, and finally lay back down myself. In the morning they are completely oblivious to the fact that we were in a storm but they are pissed that they aren't in the tent. They look outside and see that everything outside the tent is soaked but they run inside it to play. Later that afternoon, as I am putting all the pillows and such away, I notice an empty bag of marshmallows in the corner of the tent. It seems my little ladies had an entire bag for breakfast while yukking it up out there. Amazing.

After putting everything away and bringing some semblance of normalcy to my backyard they ask if they can camp in the house. I set it up down stairs sans tent and they live it up again that night. The Memorial Day 2011 Staycation is a success. My kids had a blast camping outside and inside of my house and we spent no money on gas, about ten bucks on a grill and marshmallows, and they have some memories to build on going forward. Pretty easy to do and a lot of fun. I have the best kids in the world.

A Word to Graduates From My Uncle Pat

2011-05-23T09:33:00.000-05:00

I did not ask permission from my uncle to publish this out to the web but I will ask forgiveness later. My old man and his brothers and sister exemplify the fortitude of their generation. While they might not have had much growing up, they never used it as an excuse or a crutch. All of them have been tremendously successful and at the 125th Anniversary of the School of Pharmacy at the University of Iowa, my uncle Pat Keefe was invited to be the commencement speaker. Here is the speech he gave.

"Dean Letendre, faculty, parents, friends and most importantly graduates that while I no longer live in Iowa I am still at heart, a Hawkeye, and therefore was greatly honored to be asked to be your commencement speaker. What a privilege to stand in front of these graduates on the 125th anniversary of the College of Pharmacy and at the University of Iowa the states first public institution of higher learning, the first public university in the nation to admit men and women on an equal basis and the university that educates 80% of the teachers, 79% of the dentists, 50% of the physicians and 48% of the states pharmacists.

However after that moment of delight I immediately panicked and asked myself what do I say to graduates that are so much smarter and better educated that I was when I graduated over 40 years ago.

In thinking about that I remembered what my Mother, who never graduated from high school, once said to me. “he or she may be a 4.0 in school, but a 1.0 in life.” with that as a reminder I thought I would share with you some of the attributes that I have observed as I moved though my career and life that contributed to others being successful.

* WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES

Don’t let your mistakes define you. Learn from them, try to avoid them in the future and don’t let them become a crutch for future failure. Be honest with yourself, admit you were wrong or made a mistake. Denial only prevents positive change from happening. I have observed great companies and individual flounder when they would not admit they were on a path of failure.

*EDUCATION

You have all heard that this is not the end of your education, but only the beginning. What does that mean? It took me several years to understand that means more than seminars, staying current with my profession and reading. It means learning to LISTEN. So much of my professional success was coming to the realization that I was not the smartest person in the room. Learning to admit that I did not understand some issue. Leaning on colleagues and mentors to help educate me and returning the favor as I moved through my career. Recognizing that everyone from the person that takes out the trash, the average employee and the executive all have something to contribute. Listening and learning how leaders, and we all know them, go about dealing with tough decisions. It’s easy to lead when everything is going smoothly, but real leaders stand out when faced with crisis. Finally as your become more successful or move up the corporate ladder learning NOT to listen when people tell you how smart you are or how great your ideas and suggestions. Get honest input even if it is painful to hear. Never stop learning, life is a journey that is full of wonderful surprises if you continue to have a thirst for knowledge and new experiences.

*HAVE PASSION

People that have passion for their work are infectious. They wake up believing they will make a difference that day. If you get into a career and you don’t have passion then change to another field of pharmacy. Life is too short to not love what you do, but don’t be so naive to believe that everyday will be a bed of roses or stimulating. I once had a motivational speaker tell us that great companies do the ordinary things extraordinarily well every day. All of you will have the opportunity to show passion for your job. The smile for the patient that always complains. Answering the phone just as your shift ends. Giving acknowledgment to a fellow employee for their contribution when everyone is giving you all the credit. The ability to focus on the 80% that went well vs the 20% that went wrong and work to improve the 20% without losing sight of the 80% that you or your company is doing right. You will find the 80/20 rule holds for most all aspects of life. You will meet people in your life that focus only on the 20% and want to bring you down to their level of negativity, don’t let it happen.

*TIME

The greatest gift we possess but the hardest to manage. Today the majority of you sitting here have no money, debts to pay and glad to have parents or friends here to pay for a good meal this weekend. But what you do have is friendships and memories that will last a lifetime, because you gave each other the gift of time; to help someone study, helped them celebrate or helped picked them up when they had a bad day. As you start your career how you use your time will become your greatest challenge and one that will get out of balance constantly. The old adage that no one died wishing they had spent another day at work is misleading. Your career is important, work brings dignity, but too often we do not give the time at work our full attention and we short changed our job performance and eventually our careers. Don’t equate hours worked with job performance.

Make time for yourself, to exercise, recharge, pursue a passion, but don’t make time revolve only around you.

Finally find time to help others. The saying it is better to give then receive is all too true.

I can remember asking my mother what she wanted for her 70th birthday. She told me nothing she had everything she needed, but she would love for me to occasionally sit at her kitchen table have a cup of coffee and talk

I have dealt with some of the most successful people on Wall Street and in healthcare. The ones that made their career their mistress always talk about what they missed. The ones that found a way to balance their career, family and others seem to have a more joy filled and well rounded life.

If you find yourself unhappy at work, at home or in your life then take stock of how you are spending your time.

* Finally MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Pharmacy, as we all know, is an altruistic profession. The dictionary defines altruism as the “unselfish devotion to the interest and welfare of others. I have observed that people that don’t forget this makes a difference. However too often we define making a difference as reaching a certain monetary goal. Some of us have achieved monetary success but I believe its not because we made that our goal but because we made a difference.

If monetary success alone does not define making a difference then what does:

I have a friend in Cincinnati that has spent his career as a staff pharmacist in retail pharmacy. But he has volunteered his whole life at a free pharmacies serving the poor that cannot afford their medications. He has served as the pharmacist on numerous medical mission to Africa. He makes a difference.

Your teachers that somehow instilled in you the love of learning. The professors at the University of Iowa and the College of Pharmacy that supported you, cajoled you and helped get you here today and have given you the tools to make a difference.

Your fellow graduates of the College of Pharmacy that have gone on to be involved with local, state and national pharmacy and political organizations that help define what pharmacy is today and will be in the future.

Then all of you that have worked so hard to become Doctors of Pharmacy. But with this honor comes much responsibility. Do you know that there a 5x more pediatricians then gerontologists? Yet we have 2x more seniors than children. The management of drug therapy for all the baby boomers, as they age, will be extremely important. You will see major changes in how drugs are distributed in your lifetime, but the clinical skills you have learned and will acquire will be the most important tools to make a difference. Disease management, patient specific therapeutic outcomes, polypharmacy, the appropriate addition of a drug to a patient’s therapy and collaborative practice with other healthcare professionals, these are some of the areas where you, the future leaders of pharmacy, need to ensure that pharmacy takes a leadership role. Never forget that you are first and foremost patient advocates.

Some day all of you will be closer to the end of your career than the beginning like I am today. You will be asking yourself have I made a difference. What have I done with the great opportunity that pharmacy presented to me. If you can answer yes that you made a difference then you will have honored the great profession you have chosen, you will have honored this great University and the College of Pharmacy, but more importantly you will have honored yourself.

I would like to end with a quote from Sandra Carey, an author.

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.”

Congratulations!! May God grant you wisdom as you move through your career and your life.

Thank you,

Pat Keefe"

Much love to my Uncle Pat.

The Season Finale for the Yellow Bugs

2011-05-17T08:04:00.000-05:00

Perfection. A dynasty. Break us up. All thoughts coming to my mind after our resounding 8-0 final game victory. It was a good day for the Yellow Bugs. Other than the arctic blasts whipping the field in the middle of May, it was a lovely Saturday morning. My old man got to see Ruby play and score three or four goals, my little German continued to own the league depositing four goals herself, and my little Amazon had her first goal of the year.

I barely even coached. It was like I just put the needle on the record and pushed play. It was pretty awesome and at the same time kind of sad. I only have one more year with these girls and they will either go to a club team or stay in recreational. Hopefully, I will have it in me to form my own club but I'm not sure if that is in their best interests and not mine.

The only real coaching of note was my attempt to keep my ace striker in the back and not score. I put her nearly in our own goal and told her not to go forward but each time it was too much and she would run out, steal the ball, and score. In actuality, the parents from the other team respected the fact I was trying to hold them back. Showing some restraint is appreciated some times.

After it was over, joined hands, gave our final cheer and I thanked the parents for all their help. I'm coaching on Wednesday nights starting on June 1st up by my house. If you read this and have a 5-6 year old bring them up. Just send me an email.

Thanks for reading.

Ben

Soccer Games and Pizza Parties

2011-05-11T07:55:00.000-05:00

One can not plan their schedule in the Spring when your plans are dependent on good weather. Needless to say, the Yellow Bugs were supposed to wrap up their season this past Saturday but mother nature rained us out about a month ago, meaning this coming Saturday is our last game. Why any of this is relevant surrounds the fact that all sporting seasons must be ended with a pizza party of some kind. My wife started hounding me (and by hounding I mean whispering sweet nothings repeatedly in my ear while sending me countless emails) after the first game to arrange a time for an end of season party. I must confess, I would much rather focus on coaching but the extracurriculars are as much a part of coaching as the X's and O's.

The plan was set for Pizza Shoppe after our last game for a little post game fun and hopefully a little bonding by the girls. None of them are in the same classes at the same school, but my grandiose visions, has them playing together for years so why not facilitate friendship now. To digress, we did play the best game of the season last Saturday. The other team was very well coached, another Dad not a college kid, and his team seemed to get it. At one point the ball went from our end to there end, follow by a shot by us, which was deflected and taken all the way back to our end. Then, our team actually put a couple of passes together and it went to their end. Continuous, end to end action which was pretty impressive. You could actually hear parents on both teams talking about how impressive it was. Our string of domination did continue with Ruby and my German striker scoring about six goals. After the game, I handed out medals to a couple girls who were unable to join us for the pizza party and their certificates.

Certificates? That's right, certificates. Thanks to Microsoft word and awards templates, I was able to make a certificate for each kid. These were not your, you did a good job, here is a piece of paper awards. I tried to personalize each one with a funny message. For instance, Ruby got the "Best Choice of Outfits and Accessories" Award for her ability to go with different headbands and earring choices for each game. After the kids had ate pizza and cake (again my wife told me to get a cake and have them put "Go Yellow Bugs" on it) I presented the medals to the kids and their awards. While I think the kids appreciated them and thought they were cool, it's the parents who appreciate the extra effort. In a nutshell that is what I think the difference between being a good coach and being a great one, extra effort. Luckily for me, I have a wife who is in turn with all things kid related (she's a first grade teacher) and I love sports. A winning combination.

Back in Business with the Yellow Bugs Soccer Team

2011-05-03T15:23:00.000-05:00

The future's so bright I have to wear shades. That is how I feel right now and that is what I see when I watch these seven girls kick the ball around and put beat down after beat down on helpless five year olds. After a three week hiatus, I got back on the field with my girls and we picked up where we left off.

We had one game rained out the day of my marathon but that was cool because I hate missing games. Last week, we were in Fort Collins for Easter so I did have to miss that one but another Dad willingly stepped into the drivers seat to steer this machine to victory. On Saturday, as Ruby and I got out of the car, the smell of freshly cut grass permeated the air, while the sun warmed us up into the proper playing temperature.

After about thirty minutes of drills I asked the other coach if she was ready to go. "I guess," was her reply. Not very convincing and a little bit snippy. Let's hit the highlights quickly on this one. Ruby and Susie combined for six goals and they didn't score one on us. The other team did not get frustrated but their coach sure did. I have one little girl who is practically spinning and dancing while she plays, she has embraced my Capoeira still of soccer, and after we scored our six goal she runs back to our side of the field and says while running, "six to zero Coach."

"Well that's rude," snipes the other coach.

Hold on a minute. First, my player was keeping score herself and in her excitement for our ass kicking we were laying down, happened to say the score out loud. Now, I understand this is just for fun, and there is no winner or loser, but you better be damn sure that I tell them the score at the end of the game and congratulate them on winning. If we lost I would tell them that as well. Let's be real here. I'm not raising some softies and based on the continued participation of my team, their parents like how I coach.

Now back to the other coach for a minute. Here is my main problem with the Premier Coaches they employ in our league (and for full disclosure I sit on the board that oversees this league so I know these people), they are almost all college soccer players and this is their first experience coaching little kids. Most of these coaches are all very skilled and wouldn't be playing college soccer if they weren't. Just because they are good doesn't mean then can coach. This particular coach was having them drill step-overs and line drills. Get real! They are five, you should be teaching concepts such as offense, defense, the rules. Foot skills are great to teach, individually but come on this is supposed to be at their level. Secondly, she was yelling at them during the game and you could see the frustration in her face and hear it in her voice during the game.

Anyway, after the game we enjoyed our post-game cheer and savory snacks. The Yellow Bugs will crawl all up in your business! Boom!

Not Everything Sucks in Kansas - The Oz Marathon

2011-04-19T07:57:00.000-05:00

I'm so glad it's over. For a solid two weeks before my marathon I was nervous. Not the butterflies in the belly, palms sweaty nervous, but the, I hope all this work wasn't for nothing, I'm going to be super pissed at myself, be personally disappointed and go back to drinking, nervous. Part of my nervousness stems from the fact that I put so much emphasis on this particular race. Last year, I set my PR at this race and this year had geared my marathon training toward qualifying for Boston 2012. I don't know how else to explain it but imagine you have been practicing anything, barbequing, piano playing, public speaking, for a year and then you have one chance to prove that all that training was worth it; that is what I was trying to do.

I got out of bed around 5:00am that morning. That is paperboy early and I haven't seen 5:00am since I didn't go to bed, not because I was just waking up. I am as anal as a proctologist when it comes to my prerace routine so needless to say, I had my race gear laid out, all my accessories in the right place, and while I budgeted myself 30 minutes to get ready, it took me about 15 minutes. I was out the door and on my way to QuikTrip to for my pre-race drink. I had already downed a banana and two multivitamins (I don't know if the vitamins work but an ultra runner I read about does it and he's fast so why not) and got my RockStar. It's the sugar-free white can, I have to watch my figure. My intention is not to drink it all, but to take a couple swallows and get a bit of the caffeine into me as a slight pick me up. After my forty five minute drive, I pulled into a parking spot and realized it was too damn early to start warming up so I had to sit and fidget. Most people in the parking lot had the same idea so we all just sat there trying not to make eye contact because God forbid we have to acknowledge each other.

The conditions were mixed at best for an ideal marathon (probable excuse 1). It was cold, not cool before the race, 37 degrees to be exact and windy as all get out. Literally, looking out my windows you would have thought we were in a storm. 30 mile per hour winds with gusts up 40 were expected and based on what I was seeing it was going to be brutal (probable excuse 2). Running in the wind is basically like running up hill and as one of the pace guys would tell me later, "the wind isn't bad as long as you run faster when it's behind you." Easier said than done smart ass. Well, after getting through my routine, jogging, stretching, peeing, listening to GirlTalk, I went back to my car and dropped off my clothes, tore off my 3:00:00 pace band and went with the 3:10:00 band solo. I had trained for a 3:10:00 and decided to keep a sharp focus. By now I was good and ready and headed out to the start line.

I like to represent the Cape Girardeau when I race, so I was sporting the short orange shorts, and black tank top (both from Eastbay I love that magazine still). I was sporting a long sleeve white shirt for warmth, black gloves, and matching orange head band. Two points to note here: headbands are a plus in almost any endeavor, nothing gives that final touch of pizazz as a matching headband. 2. Short shorts should only be worn if you are fast. If you are slow, it allows the spectators more time to make fun of you and makes it much more likely that your junk might make an appearance. Luckily for me, I am fast and my junk is properly stowed away during races.

Starting lines are like speed dating, you have to find a partner and have about 30 seconds to do it. I knew they weren't going to have a pacer for my goal time 3:10:00 but I figured I could hook up with the 1:35:00 half marathon pacer and run with that group. During my chat with the smart ass 1:30:00 marathon pacer he told me that the 1:35:00 pacer had dropped out (probable excuse 3). This is when I just start talking to all the dudes around me and ask them what times they were hoping to run. It took about one minute to find two guys who wanted to run 3:10 and they were both hoping to qualify for Boston as well. Sweet action! Unfortunately, one minute later they told me they were going to try to run even pace. That means running a 7:15 mile the whole time. I am not a believer in this practice and you shouldn't be either. I run a smart pace, meaning I go out in a slow first mile and use the next two to get up to the speed I want to run. This helps to burn less energy early and stores the needed energy in my muscles for later.

To speed this post along, I passed the first guy hoping to run a 3:10 at mile 4. He was already breathing heavy and I could tell if he was laboring with his breathing then, he was in for some trouble. I passed the second guy a few miles later and he tried to keep up but faded fairly quickly as well. There are no friends during races, I feel bad when you know someone is not going to make their time but you shouldn't let it hold you back when you put in so much work. Around mile nine I was getting really close to the 1:30 half group. That is good and bad. Good because I was breathing easy and felt strong but bad because that is about five minutes faster than I had intended. At this point I made a strong mental decision. I was going to keep my pace at that rate as long as I could and not look at my watch until mile 18. As the ongoing conversation took place in my head, because I had no one to run with and I consider myself a good listener, I rationalized that at the 18 mile mark I would be 8 miles out and could have a good idea of what was ahead. Most distance runners give themselves milestones or posts to gauge themselves, sometimes it's only to the next street, sometimes it after then next ten miles, you just have to break it up.

At mile 18.25 I was at 2:04:50 which is a 6:51 per mile pace. My confidence level was particularly high at this moment because the marathon is an out and back from when we split with the halfers. This meant every step from there on out, is one step closer to the finish line. Again, I made the mental choice to not look at my watch until mile 22. Four miles left would be when I decide if I'm going to go for broke and try to sub 3 hours, or if that was not going to happen. At four miles left, I had a little less than 30 minutes to run for it. I got to two miles left and had less than 15 minutes to go. With one mile left I took off my white, long sleeve shirt. Let's be real here, looking good is as important as finishing good, plus the volunteers at most races pick up all the discarded clothes and donate them to charity. Double Rainbow! I was doing good and looking good.

With one mile left I had a little less than seven minutes to sub 3 hours. You might be saying, "Ben you are golden." Well, we had been running in the wooded suburbs for the past twelve miles and was at least partially sheltered from the wind. Not anymore. I was greeted by a fierce head wind saying, "Ha, ha, ha. You didn't think it would be this easy did you?" My visions of grandeur were blow away but not my sense of happiness. I passed the 26 mile marker and could see the finish line. The two guys I could see in front of me had just finished. I could see my wife and kids standing by the finishing shoot cheering for me. With about a mile left I had ideas of blowing them kisses, doing a cartwheel, or screaming at the top of my lungs. I did none of those. Why wife was yelling, "You did it" and I was so happy. I crossed the line, stopped my watch, and pumped my fist. I might as well let you in on this side of it too. When I staggered over to the finishing plaza I started to cry. Ruby would tell you the only time she has seen me cry is after a race and I shed some tears on this one. Emily gave me a big hug and said, "you better call your Dad, he's called me like two times." Not surprising, next to my wife, he's my biggest fan.

I ran into another friend who came down to watch the finish but was a bit too late. He could have cared less he was so stoked when I told him my finishing time. 3:01:39. A new PR and a new title that I can take with me to my grave. Boston Marathon Qualifier.

A Lesson in Total Domination

2011-04-11T10:10:00.000-05:00

Two weeks into the young season and our first smack down was issued. When referencing my daughter's 5 year old soccer games I like to use adjectives like beat down, whooping, throttling, and massacre as often as possible. It provides the proper context for the level of play that I think all non-competitive, youth soccer teams should strive for. This Saturday the Yellow Bugs showed the Purple Polka Dots who was boss.

Fast forward to the end and the final score read 6-1. While the disappointment in giving up the one goal was heavy on my shoulders, they weight was made easier by Susie and Ruby's dual hat tricks. I have seven girls on my team and only three can play at a time. In an effort to be fair to other teams, I don't put Ruby and Susie on the field at the same time. Ruby is fast and very aggressive. Susie has the foot-skills of an armless Brazilian and has moves straight out of HOT 103 JAMS! Together they are like Magic and Kareem, Usher and Bieber, Peanut Butter and Jelly, so good separately but hot damn, amazing together.

The best part of the match was how much better the other five girls are getting. Annie is my defensive stopper. When she is out there, she just runs to the back and lets no one get by her it hysterical, I don't even tell her, she does it on her own. Avery and Chloe are my twin towers and both are getting better but I have to teach them to be more aggressive and realize they aren't going to hurt anyone. Maggie and Mackenzie are my gentle bugs. One was crying at the start of the practice but was smiling by the end. The other started running during the games and almost, almost got a goal. I have set a personal challenge to get all seven girls a goal by the end of the season. I was so close a couple times on Saturday but we will get there. The trick it is to put Ruby and Susie in at the same time and tell them to go get the ball, dribble to the goal and them somehow get them to pass it to the other girl. They have this scoring thing down, now they just need to learn how to share.

Coaching - teaching life lessons while kicking ass!

From Pink Elephants to Yellow Bugs

2011-04-04T12:38:00.000-05:00

Alas the Spring soccer is upon us and we kicked off the new season with a new name. Since, having a team name is one of my top tips to a successful under 5 team establishing the name early is important. In the fall we went with "Pink Elephants" due to the remarkable coincidence that our jerseys were pink and had elephants on them. Surprisingly, our jerseys are yellow with lady bugs on them so shockingly we are now the "YELLOW BUGS"!!!

I have mentioned this before, but I grade my coaching performance on a couple of ultra analytical measures requiring various algorithms and non-differential linear equations. The first being how many kids came back. We had seven girls, including my own, on the team in the fall. We have all seven, including my own (as much as she would want to go elsewhere) back on the team again. Success! Honestly, I don't think it says much about the success or failure of my coaching abilities but I think it speaks to the communication I try to keep with the parents and the amount of fun I try to bring to every game and practice we have.

If you are an overly competitive jerk (I am a recovering competitive jerk) and base success on wins and losses then this season is off to a smashing start. We played the only team that beat us last year. They have a couple of kids with the foot skills to do step overs and half garrinchas while maintaining possession and kicking while they are running. For most of my girls keeping the ball close and being able to shield the defender away is a small feat. Well, that was last year. Now, almost all my girls and maintain possession and I have two that can actually out run defenders while they are dribbling. Pretty sweet action! Anyway, my little one was able to put two in the back of the net and my pocket Ace, Suzie, was able to make four goals. Four goals, hell one was practically a half volley that went in the goal in the air. That's amazing considering 95% of the kids at this age can't kick the ball off the ground unless by accident.

The only downside to the start of this year was that some of the parents didn't recognize me without my luscious locks (see lasts years pic)

On the whole my new look lends to a bit more credibility and probably gives the parents more reassurance in who is leading their kids.

Here is to another great season for the Yellow Bugs!

My Little Judo Champion

2011-03-28T09:09:00.000-05:00

The anticipation was killing me as we drove up from Kansas City to Kearney, Missouri for Ruby's first Judo tournament. She had literally been asking me everyday for at least a month, how many days until her tournament and the day was finally here. Having had at least four or five months of practice under her belt it was time to see if she could turn theory into action. As we arrived in the high school I walked with the wife and kids over to the bleachers. Once everyone was settled in I set out to scout out her bracket and the competition. Not surprisingly, Ruby was the National Champion, as soon as we got there. Being that there were no other 5 and under, less than 40 pound girls signed up, by default Ruby won her bracket and her first national championship. Unlike the Kansas Jayhawks, Ruby could just show and win the national championship...zing!

Considering my in-laws, my Dad and his wife, my brother and his wife and kids, Ruby's preschool teacher, and one cousin all came to the meet to watch I had to find at least one match for her. I spoke with the tournament director and he told me that if I could find some kids and coaches who would be willing to set up an exhibition match then he would put it on the schedule. Unfortunately, I could only find two boys, who were roughly her age and weight to match up with. I would rather her fight only girls but she would have been heart broken if she didn't get a chance to shine.

Her first match was against her practice partner, Peyton. They are almost the exact same size and were excited to go against eachother. The judge says "hajime" (begin) to start the match. All of the commands are in Japanese and it's pretty cool to see the kids take right to it. Ruby attempted her two throws she knows many times, but to no avail, she was forced to use her suffocating ground technique to subdue Peyton and get a 5-2 victory. I don't even know if she realized she won but her and Peyton were smiling and laughing after it was over so I was happy.

After waiting around two hours, it was time for her second match. She was tired, having missed her nap, and not feeling very good. The fire in her eye from earlier was extinguished, I could tell this was going to be rough. From the very beginning of the match, she was on the defensive, backing up, not being aggressive. The little guy finally took her down and got her on her back, she would later claim she was being choked, which is not allowed until 12 years old, and was "pinned". Any thought I had that she didn't really care about winning and losing was immediately erased when she knew she lost and broke down in tears. Her coach came up to me later and said, "she doesn't like losing does she?" Absolutely not.

By that point we had been there for almost six hours, got to watch her fight in two matches, and were ready to go home. She got to stand on top of the podium get her first place medal and ride off into the sunset. Just before we left her coach told me that she would be getting her yellow belt at practice on Tuesday. She is going to be thrilled. What a great day with my little national champion.

Psycho Wyco Winter Edition - Killing me again...

2011-02-23T23:39:00.000-06:00

They say the third time is the charm, I say things come in threes and are typically similar. I had a history professor once tell me that history does not repeat but it rhymes. This I believe.

I am a member of the Kansas City Trail Nerds http://www.psychowyco.com/ quite possibly one of the best organized, friendly, trail running advocate groups in the area. A classy operation with absolutely stellar volunteers. this organization puts on trail runs of varying distances from 5k to 100k all over the Midwest but principally the Kansas City/Lawrence Metroplex. The Psycho Wyco Run Toto Run is in my backyard. Located about fifteen minutes from my house and a place I can get lost in. The phrase, "it's Kansas how hilly can it be" just sucks. Here check this out. Those runners are walkers on this.

Those hills are not only covered in snow they are steep. Imagine if you will for a moment a roller coaster at some small, local amusement park. With dramatic hairpin turns, a loose almost out of control feel, with breathtaking drops and climbs all the while it just repeats that same pattern over and over and over. Then at the handle of the ride you have Bad Ben just dreaming up more difficult runs for these far to willing participants. That is the bridle trail at Wyandotte County Park. Up one steep, snow caked side, down one steep snow covered chute on the other side and repeat for thirty miles. My experience with during this run was much like my previous two, run 20 miles and call it a day. At this point, after much introspection and pondering I have decided my performance in these races is attributable to a couple of things. One I don't drink enough water. Everyone else is constantly taking sips but I don't. This is a bad habit I need to get out of but I'm only continuing a process I use in road races, but this is an entirely different animal and I better get hip to that quick. Secondly, I have to stop asking my wife to come out with the kids. They are my inspiration for life and everything I do but I get concerned that they are going to have to wait for me and when I see them at mile twenty I just go home with them rather then put in another two or three hours. Next time, no kids or wife, I will just call when I am done. You can't really spectate anyway since we are running in the woods the whole time.

What troubles me about this effort is I am and have been training all winter for an April marathon. I ran a 3:19:ish and set my PR last marathon out and I have been logging 50 to 70 mile weeks pretty consistently. I have the lungs for this and the strength but a combination of cramps and not wanting to deal with the pain for three more hours convince me to quit at twenty miles each time. Such is life, I ran the next day and the day after that. I read this today and thought I would share it.

"Love the busy life. It is a joy-filled life. Take your fill of joy in the winter and spring. Live outdoors whenever possible. Sun and air are nature's great healing forces. That inward joy changes poisoned blood into a pure, healthy, life-giving flow."

Lastly a few keys are necessary for anyone thinking about running in one of the Trail Nerd races especially in the Winter Editions.

1. Beards are awesome. In one of my previous blog posts I wrote about the overwhelming power of facial hair but for running in the woods they provide another layer of fantasticness.

Case in point:

The above tough man is Brian Kelpe. As strange as this is we went to high school together in Cape Girardeau, MO. He is fast and he won the 50k. That's right he won it and I'm sure that sweet ass beard had something to do with it.

The incredibly handsome young man in the middle with blue shirt and black stocking cap is me. I had the beginnings of a great beard. Good enough to endow me with the strength for a top 20 in the 20 miler. Not a terrible days work.

I have no idea who this guy is but all I can say is nice work, you are the man.

While I could go on and on, just look at the pictures, check out the links, go to the trail nerd site and read the other blogs. Lots of snow, ice, slush, hills, and fun. It's not for the faint of heart but if being alone in the woods, surrounded by nature and peace, then come join the fun.

The Wonders of Eye Tests and Glasses

2011-02-17T09:14:00.000-06:00

I am lucky. As much as I don't like to put much stock in luck, I have been lucky genetically when it comes to a few thing and sight is one of them. I have never had to wear glasses or deal with the hassle of contacts. My wife on the other hand has not been so lucky. The reason I bring this up is the story of how we have even got to the place where vision can be tested and corrected is another example of the power of science and simplicity.

Let us give credit to the Italians for their many advances to science. In conjunction with the Age of Enlightenment, during which new ideas about scientific subjects like earth sciences and astronomy were developed, optics became an important topic. Italian Salvino D’Armate of Florence is credited with inventing the first pair of wearable eyeglasses in 1284. It is said a memorial once stood, honoring him, but it no longer exists. Others, like Alessandro di Spina, were also given credit for the first eyeglasses, and though doubt exists as to the actual inventor, all prototypes were probably invented in Italy late in the thirteenth century. The use of eyeglasses was depicted in several artworks created in the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries, giving credence to the existence of spectacles during this period. http://www.glassescrafter.com/information/who-invented-eyeglasses.html

Emily, my wife, recently had to get glasses again. She had lasik surgery years ago but the vision in the right eye had been giving her problems. She had been getting headaches and squinting to see things when she read but she didn't know what the deal was. I find this fascinating that people who have bad vision don't know it because they don't know any different. This is why it's so important to have kids get their eyes checked. They have no idea they can't see well so they have to have an eye test. The simplicity of the test is amazing. Cover one eye and read the letters. While I don't want this to morph into a healthcare topic but the sooner children can get tested for vision problems the better. Kids don't know they can't see the chalk board letters so they don't know they are missing out. The advantages of good vision or having your vision corrected with glasses makes a big difference in your early educational development.

Long story short. Glasses are awesome.

The Fantastic Power of Beards

2011-02-10T13:34:00.000-06:00

On Jan 1st 2011, I cut off my Sampson like locks to start a new. While, I'm a bit disappointed that I actually did it, it was probably time. The day following the haircut, we went to a birthday party for a one year old named Hank. Many of our friends were there and it was a good time. Most of our friends were a little taken a back by my new do but most of them have known me for quite awhile so it wasn't much of a surprise. That is not to say that the relatives of the young lad really knew me from Adam.

Well, it was time and Ruby drove that point home for me. When everyone was gathered around the table for singing of Happy Birthday, one of the grandparents asked Ruby what my hair used to be like. She told them this, "my Dad used to have really long hair, he kind of looked like a girl." That's my Ruby, calling out my manliness in a room full of people. If my own daughter is comparing my hair to a woman than it was probably time to get a cut.

In an effort to rebrand myself and restore my pride and dignity, I am growing an amazing beard. It's pretty rough, all scraggly in length, and patchy; in other words awesome. It's like having machine guns on your face. My pride restored and my manliness radiating, enjoy...

2011-02-01T10:32:00.000-06:00

Tied to a Tree

2011-02-01T10:22:00.000-06:00

My mother-in-law was pissed at me on Sunday. Typically, I can do something to upset her at least every six months or so with either my glacial pace to report an injury to one of the girls, or something about my dog. I love my dog. She was given the name Mango Margaret Salsa by Ruby when she was just a wee lad. She is the second yellow lab we have had and keeps our streak alive of around eight years with a yellow running around.

She is my dog. As much as the girls and my wife like to say otherwise, she is devoted to me. When we say grace we always open up the prayer at the end to some freestyle blessings. One of the girls always gives thanks for Mango. Alice likes to tell us, "I love Ruby and Mommy and Daddy and Mookie." Mookie is and has been what Alice refers to Mango as and if Alice happens to have food, Mango responds to her when she calls her that as well.

We adopted her from Animal Haven a rescue shelter located Kansas. She was just a little puppy. She is no longer a little puppy. She's pushing 90lbs and is solid as a rock. Since she turned one she has been my faithful running companion. Regardless of the weather or distance she is always right at the front door, tail wagging knocking stuff over, eager to bound off the porch and get her run on. I have learned a couple of lessons throughout the 1000's of miles we have logged.

1. When it gets about 75 degrees she is good for only three miles.

2. When it is less than 30 degrees, she is good for up to 20 miles.

3. Pace matters. If I am out on a slow run 8:00 minutes a mile or more, she can keep up. If I'm running sub eights, she is only good for around five miles.

4. If she lays down and is panting like she's dying because it's hot as hell and I'm an idiot, she's probably having heat stroke and my wife is going to kill me if she dies.

I would write more on lesson four but let's just say, she didn't die, I didn't take her to the vet, I thought my wife was going to kill me, and I was secretly crying when I was trying to cool her off. She made it and I did learn that she has limits.

Mango also fills me with pride. She is the best running partner I have ever had, including humans. I typically take her off the leash after one mile in, even if we are running in a busy residential or commercial area. She sticks either right next to me or right behind me but nothing, not even squirrels, cats, other dogs, or food will pull her off the run. It's like she knows what we are out there doing and doesn't want to screw it up by going off course. That is not to say she doesn't stop to smell the roses every once in awhile, she does, but she catches back up and we carry on. I love running past people on a trail who have their dogs on leashes and she is free. Mango pays them no mind and they stare at me like I'm the dog whisperer. In all fairness, she has been like this for me as long as I have had her and I can't take any credit.

She also loves to race. We entered the spring edition of the Psycho Wyco 5K last year and had a blast. There were about 100 runners total and about 15 of us had dogs. All the owner/dog teams had to start in the back. While in theory this is a good idea, in practice it's terrible. This race is over a extremely rugged single track trail in the woods. Passing is treacherous at best and passing with a giant dog on a leash is complicated to say the least. My method was just to yell really loud, "DOG COMING!" and hope they moved out of the way. Even after starting a good two or three minutes after the leaders we passed 88 runners and finished 12th OVERALL and first dog in. Watching her run up hills is like watching a primal beast in it's element. She was built for this and we killed it. When we hit the finish line a guy said to me, maybe you should start in the front next year. I agree.

Now, it's the dead of winter again and I'm training for my next marathon. This past Sunday was my long run of 14 miles. I knew I wanted to run it just a little off of marathon pace or 7:30 to 7:45 a mile and that was going to be way too fast to take Mango with me. The problem is as soon as she sees me getting dressed to run she knows what up. She bounds over to the front door and starts going nuts. She just stares at me with those giant eyes and how can I not take here with me.

Off we go, she hustles along for the first 3 miles or so and then we hit this really long straight away. It is in a unpopulated area so I don't mind her falling far behind because she can still see me. Well, we hit the seven mile turn around and she is falling almost a quarter of a mile behind me. What to do? I run a few more miles and I wait for her to catch up, we hike about 30 yards off the road into the woods and I tie her to a tree. I pick up the pace for my last four miles and get home, grab the keys, drive back to the country road, hike into the woods, unhook her from the tree and she jumps into the car. All is well. I thought this was a pretty quick thinking on my part until I told my mother-in-law of my great idea at Sunday night dinner.

"You are an idiot" she says. "What if someone would have taken her or she froze to death?"

Both highly unlikely possibilities given that someone would have had to have been searching in the woods for a dog tied to a tree that they didn't know existed and secondly she just ran nine miles and was panting like hell and had a fluffy bed of snow to lay in.

While in retrospect, my decision to take her in the first place was the wrong choice but leaving her tied to a tree was pretty awesome.

SNOW DAY!!!

2011-01-24T09:30:00.000-06:00

It is true that the world is certainly changing and we are living in interesting times. Just look at Snow Days. This was a magical term when I was growing up, something whispered about by friends and spoken only in the depths of winter. The possibility that enough snow could fall like manna from heaven and provide our own winter oasis and respite from school was gripping.

Having been born in Iowa the cold is in your bones. Snow is a part of life and you come to being used to maneuvering in it. Sledding is typically an activity reserved for the weekends. You needed a solid ten inches to cancel school and it better come all at once or you are out of luck. Iowans are a hardened lot, made from a fabric that is not found in all states. Then, in second grade, I moved to Cape Girardeau, Missouri. This sleepy, small city is located in the boot-heel region of Southeast Missouri and snuggled up close to the imposing Mississippi River. It truly is a beautiful place and I enjoyed being raised there but God forbid the weatherman calls for snow. It's an all out riot. The supermarkets are devoid of all staples. The aisles for bread, milk, eggs, etc., are destroyed, literally all that is left is one tanned loaf of ciabatta that looks as if everyone has been squeezing it for freshness.

After that blizzardly half inch of snow arrives it's as if peoples brains fall out. Driving becomes a nightmare, with people smashing into each other all over. Chains are put on tires as they are deemed necessary for driving up what is normally a gentle hill. It's not as if the weather people are any better. Many of us like to act as if the weathermen are simply in it for the ratings, I'm not convinced this is the case. More likely is that they are weathermen and any chance to add an extra couple of facetime minutes on tv the better. What was once the proving ground for want to be anchors, the weatherman is now part of our societal fabric. At my office we spend more time discussing what Katie Horner (weather lady who keeps popping out kids) thinks is going down, than the report (I don't even know the anchors name) about last nights Amber Alert. I mean hell, traffic and weather are reported like five times in a thirty minute newscast.

Speaking of weathermen, my wife thinks she is also capable of filling this role. If any of you know anyone who has worked construction then you are aware that working outside classifies you as a meteorologist. The five years she spent looking in the sky why everyone else was working has managed to sow a seed in her brain that she can tell what the weather is going to do based on clouds. She also has a tendency to lose her mind before a snow storm. You see my wife is a teacher so a snow day is also an day off for her. It's not as if having, all federal holidays, Catholic holidays, two weeks for Christmas, over a week for Easter, and nearly two and a half months for summer are enough, she needs her snow days. When the talks starts of an impending snow my wife turns to the news but not just one broadcast, she needs the 4:30, 5:00, 6:00, 9:00, and 10:00 to get all the information she needs. If she could have the scroll on the bottom of school closing feed directly into her phone, she would. When the news finally comes down that school is canceled, she quickly puts to rest the worry of travel and bolts out the door to hang out with friends, leaving me to think up things to do with the kids now that they want to stay up late.

My work is no better. With the advance of online meetings, skype, instant messaging, and access to company networks virtually, this place becomes a ghost town. While I take it as a point of pride to drive in, and to be honest, I can't get much done with my kids harassing me, you would think the roads are impassable and everyone is stuck. Whatever that case, you can do sweet donuts in the parking lots on days like this and monster e-brake turns and have nothing to fear.

Maybe all this new technology and awareness, plus the 24hour news and weather has made us safer and more prepared causing less accidents and increased productivity. What hasn't changed in the sheer joy of looking out the window and seeing a thick blanket of snow coating everything and realizing you don't even have to hit snooze.

Don't Put That in Your Mouth

2011-01-10T12:09:00.000-06:00

"Don't put that in your mouth."

"Get that out of your mouth."

"What's in your mouth."

These are all common statements and questions that all parents deal with during the first four of five years of their kids lives. As time goes on you can only hope that you spend less time questioning their oral habits, I mean come on I have girls and yes the view from the gutter is amazing.

On Friday night we got a lesson on what shouldn't be put in your mouth. As customary when my niece, Maple, is in town, she stayed with us that night. The girls were all very excited. Ruby had someone to boss around, Alice had someone to play with who wasn't Ruby, and Maple is just happy she is at our house with anyone to play with.

The first lesson of the night was dished out to Ruby. As previously mentioned, by me and from her teachers, Ruby likes to be the boss. The following conversation took place as they were playing.

"Maple, I'm going to be the teacher and the doctor." This is from Ruby.

"Ruby, I'm not playing with you. I never get to be the teacher or the doctor," said Maple.

"Fine, I'm going to play up here in my room by myself." SLAM!!!

"Alice, I'm sorry I was never nice to you before, You are fun to play with." From Maple to Alice our 2 year old.

"Hey guys, I'm up here in my room if anyone wants to come play or be the teacher." Ruby's futile attempt to reel them back in.

Kids conversations are the best.

Anyway, where was I, oh yes choking. Later in the evening around 10 o'clock, Emily and I are sitting on the couch watching tv. Ruby and Alice are both asleep but Maple is still awake. We let them stay up later on the weekends but Maple would stay up until midnight if you let her. She gets this from her parents who only see the sunrise if they haven't gone to bed yet. Well, a little after 10 we hear what sounds like puking. Our parental ears are attuned for this sound but it also sounds like hacking. My first thought is, which one is it, and am I going to have to change the sheets. As my wife runs upstairs, I saunter over to the sink to put my ice cream bowl away and Emily starts yelling.

"Maple is choking! Get up here!"

"I'm coming." Good lord woman, this isn't the first time.

As I get up to the bathroom, I notice right away this isn't like normal. For one, their is a lot of bright red blood coming out of her mouth and she is really hacking. My wife is in disarray. "What should we do, call 911 or take her to the hospital?" she yells.

"Call 911." I reply.

"Maple what did you swallow?" I ask.

"A butterfly hair clip." she says between hacks.

So I work with her to keep her calm, while Emily talks to the 911 operator. She relays to me all the important stuff, no drinking, no heimlich maneuver, no trying to get it out.

At this point Maple is calm, bloodied, but calm. She thinks it feels like something is in her throat but she can breath. The EMT's get to our house in three minutes (they are awesome) and come up to the bathroom. They ask her a few questions and talk with my wife and decide to take her down to Children's Mercy in case they have to remove it.

Maple is in good spirits and it's obvious to us by now that she has either swallowed it or it came back up and was flushed. To be safe she is hustled off to the ER. I stayed home with the kids but Emily told me that Maple did have the EMT's laughing by some of her questions and statements.

"That is the biggest police car I have ever seen." said Maple when looking at the ambulance.

"Are you guys doctors?" she asked the EMT's.

"Kind of like that but we are the people who take you to the doctor." said the EMT.

"My mom says doctors are quacks." from Maple, tremendous laughter ensues.

"Emily have you ever been in a police car?" that a weird question that my wife tries to deflect.

"There has been a police car at my house before," says Maple, "because my mom locked her keys in her car." whoa Maple, I had no idea where you were going with that one.

By the end of the night, Emily is back home, Maple's parents join her at the ER and Ruby and Alice sleep through all of it.

In the morning we explain to Ruby and Alice what happened but it is taking awhile to register. Ruby was convinced that Maple was just hiding somewhere, rather than actually being gone and Alice just wants a pancake and could care less about all of it.

What I hope is Maple, Ruby and Alice all learned a valuable lesson that small sharp objects have no place in their mouths. What I learned is kids are hazardous to their health.

My Resolution - Take Action

2011-01-05T09:20:00.000-06:00

Part One of Taking Action - Cutting my hair.

Part Two - Growing a sweet beard - pics coming in about a year.

Santa is Always Right

2010-12-29T09:44:00.000-06:00

Christmas is a pretty cool time around my house the past few years. With two little kids and a little stability, we are providing the context for them to have a great holiday. Santa is also a big motivating factor at our house for about a month each year and it will be sad when that behavioral tool goes away. You all know what I mean. It provides a great series of "if, then" situations you can leverage to your advantage. Mostly leading to not getting any toys if you don't do something.

"If you don't go get in bed, then Santa won't bring you any toys."

"If you don't eat your green beans, then Santa won't bring you any toys."

"If you don't stop pinching your sister, then..."

What amazes me is the power of Santa. If you replace Santa with me, for instance, the threat goes largely on deaf ears. I attempt to strike the fear of me into them every once in awhile but as my wife would say, I'm typically a softy and bend to their wishes. (so sue me, they are my girls)

The power of Santa to be all knowing is dumbfounding to me as well. Ruby, is a shoe afficianado, much like her mother and father, and in an effort to keep her in some seriously fast kicks, her and I had been shoe shopping for the past few weeks. WEEKS! I had taken her to countless stores to find the exact shoes she wanted that were:

1. Faster than any other kids in her class shoes.

2. Looked black and had both three stripes and a swoosh. (somehow she thought their was a magical hybrid brand of Adidas and Nike somewhere in existence. In actuality she knew that Daddy wears both to run and so does Mom and she wants to please us both I guess.)

3. Have laces and no Velcro. She recently learned how to tie her shoes and according to her infinite wisdom, is way too old for Velcro.

You see my dilemma. I was unaware of this mythical shoe but on Christmas Eve Day I made a run to Dillards in Zona Rosa in Kansas City. My prayers were answered. This place has tons of kids shoes. They are a bit pricier than other department stores but at this point it didn't matter. I found what I thought was the perfect pair, sort of white and purple with laces, and a swoosh. As I bantered with the sales associate at check out I turned around to just admire this store, it really is a nice place, brand new and very shiny, and was struck by a vision of the perfect shoe. "Don't ring me up yet. Do you have those in a nine?" I questioned.

"I take it she is a bit of a Tom Boy?" asked the assistant.

"Sort of." I replied.

While she loves throwing people (Judo), soccer, climbing trees, she also loves dress up, makeup, and other "girl" things. I would say she is like most other little girls or boys for that matter and her ideal shoe does not necessarily label her.

On a side note, her last pair of running shoes, were "boys" shoes as well, which we didn't actually know until we went to soccer practice and a boy on the other team was wearing the same shoes. In regards to these shoes, they are yellow and black , so they can be Tigers or Hawkeyes, so that's a bonus, they tie, and they have the name Flash in the title. Pretty much a slam dunk by Dad here.

I rush home and wrap them up (using the Santa wrapping paper) and put them in the hiding spot until they wenr to bed. In the morning as the carnage of boxes and paper littered the floor she opened her shoes from Santa. Her first comment, "See Dad, Santa knew exactly the shoes I wanted."

Of course he did.

Learning Something New

2010-12-14T23:24:00.000-06:00

It amazes me how we can learn new things about ourselves when we least expect it. This has been happening to me every Tuesday for the past month and a half. In an agreement stuck between my beautiful wife Emily and myself, Ruby is now learning the basics of Judo. Long story short, I have been pushing for Ruby to wrestle ever since she was born. My justification was always that it is an Olympic sport for women, some Universities give scholarships for it, and the pool of female athletes in this sport is thin, thus improving her chances for both of these things. Also, I was a wrestler for years and coached and it is an addiction that gets in your blood and becomes something you want to share.

My wife on the other hand sees it just as weird for girls to do. She thinks I'm dumb, the idea is dumb, and Ruby will only wrestle when hell freezes over. That is pretty hard for me to argue with but believe me I have been. I also catch flax from my mother-in-law (imagine that) who likes to tell me that Ruby is not a boy. As you can tell, the influencers on this debate are certainly lined up against me. What I'm trying to do is find something that focuses on paying attention to details, slowing down and doing things right, respect, and all the while emphasizing personal discipline. Attractive qualities to instill in a child and the earlier the better I might add.

After surveying my options, and consulting my wife (this is a good idea) we decided to give Judo a try. Luckily for me, the instructor is Kenny Brink and his club is called Brink's Welcome Mat Judo. Welcome Mat Judo is an organization familiar to most in the Judo family, especially in Kansas City. Kenny has three boys and one of them I was lucky enough to help coach in wrestling so we have some ties. He was also a National Champion in Judo and has the credentials that any newcomer should look for in finding a good club.

It took me two practices to be comfortable not wanting to be in charge. That is a personality trait I have had forever, wanting to run the show, and I realized I have no business doing such a thing. I still harp on her to pay attention and get up off the mat, but I don't have to say much anymore. She bows to center when she gets on the mat, bows to center before she gets off the mat. She bows to her partner before each drill and shakes hands after every drill. She thanks her instructors after every practice and is working hard to get better, not because I tell her to but because she wants to.

When I stopped pushing so hard she has started to thrive. It's pretty neat, she is learning Japanese, because all the moves are in Japanese, her flexibility is improving, and she is learning a little self defense which, you never know, could come in handy some day.

I must confess, there is a secret plan to all of this. Judo is also an Olympic sport so my dream of Ruby being an Olympic Champion is alive and well. Also, one of the top Greco-Roman female wrestlers for the United States practiced Judo her whole life before she took up wrestling in her twenties. To quote dumb and dumber, "so you are telling me there's a chance." I can hope.

FAQ for my next Trail Run.

2010-12-10T09:19:00.000-06:00

I am a member of a group called the Kansas City Trail Nerds. Basically, a bunch of nature loving, granola eaters who do trail maintenance and run races in the woods. Some of my favorite things. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share the questions people ask before we do on a PRACTICE run, this isn't even a race.

Alt Chili Run FAQ:
How much is the run? $5, which the Trail Nerds will donate to ERTA, a trail-building organization.

Why aren't there bib numbers? Because it's a fun run not a race.

Where does this start? In parking lot.

Is it timed? No

How will I know where I'm going? There will be some markings at any intersection where you have to make a choice. We have pace leaders - Scott, Travis, Matty and Brian ,John King and Beth Hilt will course sweep to keep you headed in the correct direction. Michael Ruder also knows the course . If you get lost you can
always dip out of the woods and get on the road which will have markings for the Chili Run which starts at 9am.

Where are the bathrooms? Down the steps in the James P. Davis Center

The bathrooms aren't open-- what should I do? Here is a baby wipe-- check out the woods.

Will there be water stations? No

Will non trail shoes work on this course. Sure, but you should join the Trail nerds and get a 20% discount on trail shoes at GGRS.

Will I slip? The weather isn't set to get nasty until Sunday, but after that we "screw" our shoes. But there will not be a screwing station for this run, this year.

What is the course like? It is the same loop as the Winter Psycho/Toto race and consists of quite a
bit of bridle trails. You'll have to head down some pretty steep treacherous stuff, but that's part of the fun. The Trail Nerds support ERTA, an organization that builds sustainable single track and hope that in the future we'll have better trails!

Is there an Aid station? No we've never had one and no one dehydrated. Make sure you bring water or run with a friend who has a hydration device.

Where is the Chili? In the James P Davis center. Pay $5 and enjoy. Sophia ate 4 bowls one year.

One for each mile (she had a tough year, but met Bad Ben and fell in love
with him !)

Proud to be a Trail Nerd.

Time To Do Some Good

2010-11-18T12:24:00.000-06:00

Tis the season for outreach to our less fortunate and also a time to be thankful for all the blessings we do have. I currently sit on the board of the Northland Sports Alliance here in Kansas City, Missouri. We offer a plethora of recreational and competitive team sports for the youth in our area. We offer a scholarship program for parents to enroll their children even in hard economic times. This program is built on donations from you. Please read below and donate if you can.

Yes it's that time of year again, time to be pandered to for your generosity. The time of year where we set our expectations high because we know you will help us reach them. Last year we set a goal for our scholarship fund to hit $5,000 and we made it with your help. The group was small but mighty. This year we would love to have more participation. If every person that receives this made a small contribution, we would hit that $5,000 mark in no time. Last year we were able to sponsor over 70 kids. Kids that would not normally have the opportunity to play. I can't tell you about all 70, but I can share a story about one family.

This one family in particular has three kids. These kids are very active in sports, playing something all the time. They are a typical family in our program. Parents love the kids, kids love the parents, they may even have a dog - they could be any one of us. However, this year they were hit hard and they had to make choices. Those choices included some tough decisions. The mom called us on the last day to register and as we were doing her registration we asked her which child she was registering first (because we knew all three played.) She started to cry and said she only had enough money to register one of her kids. They all wanted to play but she couldn't afford it so she was letting the oldest one play and was hoping things would be better by the next season. The two younger ones were disappointed but she said they would be okay, she was hopeful things would all work out. First, we couldn't imagine the heartbreak for this mother to tell the two younger ones they didn't get to play this season. Second, we couldn't let this happen - do you know why? Because we have you! I wish all of you could've been with us when we told this mother that we had funds available for situations just like this. I helped her get all three registered and I told her things would turn around. Some day, maybe even today, she could pay it forward and help out another family when they might be in the same situation. Those tears were suddenly tears of joy (both mine and hers). We don't "advertise" our scholarship fund regularly so a lot of people who have never needed it, don't really know about it. Well, I am here to tell you it exists and it gets used.

I wish I could tell you about each one of our families. Some have gone through divorce, others a job loss, or a medical crisis. I know things will turn around for a lot of them. We have very few families that continue year after year on our scholarship program which tells me things will get better for some while others learn about our scholarship fund for the first time. The key is to let these kids continue to play. Unfortunately, we can't do that without your help.

Think about how you can make a difference in a child's life. Imagine if that family above wasn't able to let all three kids play. Can you imagine the reminder every week when the two younger ones went to watch the older one play - disappointment for both the kids but also the parents. Imagine a child going through a divorce - their soccer team may be their only outlet with their friends on it - that could be what gets them through a difficult situation. Imagine a child with a mom or dad that has cancer, I can't even begin to tell you how important those friendships are. Some of our teams have been together through all of these situations. Those parents rally around those kids and continue to tell them everything will be okay. I know these families appreciate the help.

Please consider helping out. It's easy. Just click here https://www.spcaa.com/donate.aspx. It's fast. Or if you prefer, you can mail a check to the address below. It's not the amount that's important, every little bit helps. Last year we had donations as low as $10, those donations added up to $5,000. I know we can do it again, won't you help out? I'm counting on you!

With your help we will be able to continue our scholarship program. I am proud to say we have never turned down a child because of their inability to pay. I give you my word, we never will.

Sincerely,

Stephanie A. Schieber

Director

Northland Sports Alliance

8341 NW Mace Road

Kansas City, MO 64152

Pilgrim Pacer Half Marathon Adventures

2010-11-16T12:19:00.000-06:00

Writing about running was always a central theme of what I wanted to do with this blog. Much like my life this was taken over by ideas and things and pulled in a different direction, namely my kids. I make no apologies for that but I wanted to get my thoughts on a recent race I ran and a blog I read.

Here is the blog: http://www.therandomride.com/The_Random_Ride/%28anti%29Blog/Entries/2010/10/29_Something_old...something_new.html

The ideas put forth in here really appeal to me. So I wanted to think back to what running means to me. I ran my first road race when I was eight or nine. It was a one mile fun run around Capaha Park in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. I finished second and was devastated. Normally one would think not winning something you have never done before wouldn't be that dire but that's not how I'm wired. I'm pretty sure I had some sweet Roo's or street shoes with no consideration for what "running" shoes were. As time went by, I forced my Mom to get me the latest and greatest running shoes from Eastbay and figured these would put me over the top.

Now, it really doesn't matter to me that much. My newest set of kicks are here:

They are Adidas Marathon 10's. Sort of a throw back to some of the earliest versions of "marathon" shoes that Adidas made. Pretty simple really, good support, pretty light, a little bit of yellow, they stay tied, pretty much everything I need to go out and run. I'm not a big believer in replacing shoes every 1000 miles or whatever, I do believe in getting new insoles but as long as they aren't falling apart we are all good.

These beauties have led me to two PR's (personal records) in my last two races. 3:21:10 in the KC Marathon and 1:29:10 at the Pilgram Pacer Half Marathon. Personally, if you are trying ten different brands of shoes, clothes, gear, goos, etc., it's not there fault you are slow, it's you, train more.

What training will do is help you to overcome unexpected obstacles. The Pilgram Pacer Half was a fantastically organized race by the Kansas City Trail Nerds. What was unexpected was the weather (about 35 degrees, very strong consistent winds, and very hilly. This was the first time I had been out to Unity Village in Lee's Summit, Missouri so I was not familiar with the course. It was actually the first time being held here as well so most of us at the starting line were in the same boat. I found some nice dude from Atlanta who was running 50 half marathons in 50 states and asked him what he thought he would run it in.

"Around 1:26:00." That sounded good to me so I told him I would run with him. He lasted at that pace for about a mile. Then, it was on me for the next twelve. This race was four 5K loops. The halfers did a short out and back at the beginning to get in the extra 7/10ths we need for the half. That was actually kind of cool because it made me realize only four people were ahead of me and one I would pass fairly shortly. As I'm running up and down the short steep hills I kept thinking. "I have finished top three in one of these things, that would be awesome." Well, I got passed with about a half mile to go and didn't feel like suffering anymore than necessary so I let him go.

In the end it wasn't so bad. I won my age division and took fourth overall. My girls had a blast playing in the bounce house, and my wife got to visit with a friend and get a better understanding of why I do this to myself.

Running is simple. It's a human expression of what we are capable of as a species and what we can overcome. It also gets me out of the house for two or three hours at a time. Amen to that.

The Pink Elephants

2010-11-03T18:27:00.000-05:00

The Pink Elephants

The Season Finale

2010-10-29T15:01:00.000-05:00

Pink Elephants are the CHAMPIONS!!! That is the last thing I told my girls after the final game of the season. Talk about a sense of accomplishment. I think I am more excited about the progression of this team than anything I have done at work in a long time. It is helpful to do a little comparison of other teams versus the Pink Elephants to get a more realistic breakdown of success. I am using my own scale of awesomeness to determine overall results from a coaching standpoint.

Promptness of Teams

Elephants - On Time
Opponents - Some on time, most late.

Number of Players In Attendence

Elephants - 7 every game
Opponents - 5 if they are lucky

Number of Girls Crying Per Game

Elephants - 1 first two games
Opponents - At least one crier a game

Number of Parents Who Told Me They Want Me To Coach Their Kid in the Spring

Elephants - All seven
Opponents - I have no idea but it's not seven

Hugs Given to Me

Elephants - Five Hugs
Opponents - Zero Hugs

As you see from my scientifically advanced comparison matrix, this season was a lot of fun for everyone involved. I tell you what, volunteering brings more joy and soul filling goodness to the volunteer than to the recipients. When the opportunity to give back presents itself, grab it. You don't get that many and you can learn a lot about yourself.

Until next time.

It Takes Work To Let Go

2010-10-19T12:05:00.000-05:00

Trey Anastasio is the author of the title of this post. I am not that smart. What I am, is astute enough to realize that, like many things in my life, good things happen when I stop holding on so damn tight.

Case in point, game five for the rampaging Pink Elephants. Let us start with the final result and work backwards rather quickly. The Elephants scored at least five goals. My little German scored three goals and Ruby had TWO GOALS. Way to go RUBY!!!!!! As you can tell that makes dad proud, if only I could have been there. That's right, I had to forgo my coaching responsibilities for this game in order to run a race I had been training for. In my head, all I can see is the practice and instruction and whistle blowing and prodding and pleading resulting in the glorious culmination of pure athletic grace and determination. What probably happened was the team stopped playing tentative and nervous and just went out there and had fun. Good things happen when you just get out of your head. They say that you should never go into a dark alley by yourself, well we all have some pretty dark places in our minds.

I asked Ruby how the game went and she said it was fun and she scored. When I followed up with a question about defense she looked at me like I was speaking in tongues. Well, she had fun. Lesson learned and about the race, I finally was able to let go and just run. I didn't do too bad.

Last Goal Wins...

2010-10-12T10:43:00.000-05:00

How many times have you played pick up games at the park or gym, been getting schooled by a better team for the length of the game, only to have the coach or opposing player say, "next goal wins."

The fragile confidence of a four year old can suddenly be boosted by a game ending walk off goal. The Pink Elephants finally got that moment of adulation on Saturday morning. Is was a glorious early day. The sun was glistening off the dew on the well manicured grass. The rooster tails of water shooting up from the ball as we rolled it out on to the field brings back the memories of countless mornings I spent growing up at the soccer park. A slight chill in the fall air made a light jacket optional but unnecessary after a couple of quick sprints. Ruby and I went to work putting our cones out, setting up for a quick practice before game time. That is the m.o. every Saturday. Thirty minutes of practice, a quick drink, and then a thirty minute game. While I think the kids enjoy the games more than the practice they do a good job of trying to listen and pay attention the best they can.

More nerve racking than anything is that all the parents are there for the whole time. It's not like they drop the kids off and come back later. You, as the coach, are on somewhat of a stage and with those eyeballs comes some nervousness of making sure you are doing your best job possible. After going through our drills and getting them warmed up I decided to discuss the idea of playing defense. With three games remaining, and us giving up goals like a colander gives up the water, I thought it might make sense to incorporate a central defender into our team. Last week, one of my players took the initiative of doing this herself after we had given up quite a few goals, so the idea of this seemed to already be taking root. We all walked to the top of the goal box and I explained that one person would stand here and wait for the other team to have a break away. "When the other team gets close to you, it's your job to run out there and kick it away from them." This seemed to make good sense to me and they took to it right away.

Once again we played a team consisting only of boys and they had four team members. This is becoming more the norm. We have all seven players, early or on time, while the other team is lucky to have five and they don't show up until right before the game. The Pink Elephants like playing and as important at this age, their parents like bringing them. Per our usual gusto, we played strong at the start but the speed of the boys kept the ball on our half for the majority of action. Our new "defender" did a great job initially of stopping the forward progress of the attacking team, I failed to coach to the entirety of the role. My team does a great job of getting to the ball and making the first kick, but they have a tendency to stop and feel good about that initial accomplishment rather than continue to pursue the action. This led to our defender making the first stop and then stop running which allowed the opposing team to gather the ball in and score...about three times. Nevertheless, the intention was there and the idea of what it means to play defense is being recognized. My wife later told me she thought having all three girls running after the ball may have been more effective, that might be true in the short term, in the long term the development is what's important. (that's how I keep justifying my approach).

Finally, with about one minute to play, our little German winger got the ball, made a bee line toward their goal and throttled it into the back of the net. I blew the whistle (I'm the only coach in the league who uses one) and we lined up for handshakes. We got into our circle for our postgame breakdown, this consists of me telling each of them how great they did, and I told them we scored last so we won. They were pumped. You could see the excitement on their little faces and we lined up for a quick picture for the parents. I informed them I would be unable to coach next week due to a previous obligation with a marathon and no one immediately jumped up to take the job but someone will. I love where we are right now and when we play a team full of girls, we are going to kill them.

1, 2, 3 Go Pink Elephants.

What not to say to your kid at the end of a game....

2010-10-08T11:21:00.000-05:00

Keeping your emotions in control is hard to do. Keeping my mind ahead of my mouth is an even harder proposition for me sometimes. While, I find it easy to encourage each kid on my team and even on the other team, my frustrations with my own kid make me a dick sometimes.

If you are looking for themes in the past few posts, me being too hard on my kid is one of them. We all want our kids to have fun and get along, and not everybody wants their kid to be the best, but it's pretty hard for me to not expect more out of my daughters than what is fair to ask. We played another team last week that primarily consisted of boys, and by primarily I mean they had one girl and she was looking at the clouds the entire time. This team had by far the two best players we have been up against. I think combined they scored like six goals. Hell, they even both even new how to do a step-over. Now, while they may sound impressive, under the context, they were in the corner by themselves doing a step-over to fake out no one, but still a four year old with moves is a sight to see.

What else was exciting to see was the initiative taken by one of my girls. After taking about three goals in five minutes, one of my players went to the back and stood in front of the goal and said, "I'm going to get the ball." She practically yelled it. I was impressed. We were not as fast, or as skilled but she understood that standing in front of the goal (even though technically goalies aren't allowed) prohibits most goal scoring in an under four league and she was right. We gave up maybe one more goal total for the rest of the game and I had girls rotating to play "defense". Hell, I'm happy if they don't use their hands, don't kick with their toe, and don't cry but figuring out how to play defense and patrol a part of the field was cool. I have the makings of a center back on my hands.

Back to me being a dick. By the end of the game, Ruby was tired, she wasn't running hard and was consistently wanting to sit on the sidelines. She is a social butterfly and likes to chat it up with her teammates and I love her for that, but we are there to play soccer and she is one of the better, more physical players, and I need her to shine when we play boys teams. The convergence of her attitude, us getting our asses handed to us, and my stupid mouth, led me to this comment after we slapped hands coming off the field.

"Ruby, you are played terrible today."

She proceeded to walk off the field and cry to mom. Well, Emily came up to me and says, "did you tell Ruby she played terrible today?"

"Yep." She gave me one of those looks like, you have to be a complete dumbass. I didn't even try to plead my case, there was none. I walked off the field, went up to Ruby and apologized. I tried to justify my actions to her with a rational explanation and I could tell she new I wasn't trying to hurt her, I was just frustrated. Things blew over pretty quick based on the fact that 30 seconds later both Ruby and Alice voted to ride home with me. Possibly because they knew we were going to rock out and with Dad, there is always the potential for candy.

I will leave you with this, when your frustration with your kids gets to the point you want to tell them how disappointed you are with them, tell them you are disappointed, don't tell them they are terrible. One word can make a big difference.

Game Two for the Mighty Elephants

2010-09-29T09:26:00.000-05:00

"Do you want to keep playing or go sit on the sideline?" I inquired to one of my players.

"Sit on the sideline," she replied.

"Okay then. Ruby get out here," I yelled.

And so it goes, the continual prodding, needling, negotiating, and encouraging that you need as a coach to keep the four year olds motivated. Sometimes they just want to sit out and be on the sideline with the other three girls, pick grass, and drink water from their squirt bottles. For at least three girls on my team, being on the team, is actually more important than playing the games. I am pretty competitive and winning was always priority number one for me, but we are all wired differently and recognizing those differences goes a long way toward understanding what makes these kids tick.

My wife reminds me that Ruby is not me. This is a fundamental lesson that all coaches must learn quickly if they are going to coach their own kids. I get more frustrated with her than any other kid on the team. My expectations are higher (we practice at home almost every day) and I feel like I know what she is capable of. On the other hand, Ruby just wants to run around and have fun, winning isn't even discussed with my team, because with four year olds, building a foundation of skills they can take with them is the most important part. If I start allowing myself to be concerned about the outcome of a three on three game between four year olds, I have a serious problem.

As a coach, what you can take assurance in, is improvement. When I see a girl do something we worked on last week correctly, or they offer to show me something (which happens a lot) it is an affirmation that something is getting through. In no way can I take credit for much of this because I know lots of the parents are taking their kids home and practicing the same drills we use at the fields. Regardless, small steps are being taken and less tears are flowing. Rule number three is working!!!

My goals for this coming Saturday are two fold, to get the girls to run as fast in the game as they do around their houses, and to make one of my timid ones smile. If the kids don't want to be there and aren't having fun, then I'm not being a good coach.

1, 2, 3, GO PINK ELEPHANTS!!!

Fun with Soccer

2010-09-23T13:58:00.000-05:00

In effort to keep some type of theme meandering it's way through the convolution of this blog, I am going to drop some posts in the next month or so about my experience with coaching my daughters U-5 soccer team.

This is meant to be educational in variety as I am a highly trained soccer professional whom likes to base my level of expertise in soccer on the use of terms such as "pitch" instead of field, "boots" instead of cleats, and "clean sheet" instead of shut out. As you can tell, based solely on my Euro-centric adoption of football terminology I am advanced. In an effort to appear more broadly to my domestic readership I will use the more commonly accepted terms such as soccer.

The first practice is like opening a new restaurant. You want to start banging away with high energy, lots of activities, and loads of customers, our team lived up to the first two. As mentioned in my first T-Ball post, having a solid team name makes up for the lack of remembering any of the kids names. Also, take into consideration the age of the players you are coaching because calling four year olds "killers" is evidently not appropriate. We, and by we I mean me, decided what we would be called, I was racking my brain trying to come up with something and then it dawned on me. The Pink Elephants. I know what you are thinking, "nice work Ben" but truth be told our uniforms are pink and they have a giant elephant on the front but hey the other team didn't even have a name.

Now with all due respect to the other team, they had nothing on us. They were instructed by one of the "Premier" coaches that are available to all teams in the league. I opted not to have a premier coach but to handle the coaching responsibilities myself. You might call this arrogance and there is probably a sliver of truth to that but I have gone to some of the local "training" academies and clubs with my daughter and the coaches they have are typically "premier" in name only. My assumption played out fairly well in this regard. The other team had a premier coach and they pretty much were crying and not having anywhere near as much fun as we were having. Plus, she failed in her first job as coach, and that is getting a team name and doing a cheer.

Back to the Elephants. We started with some simple introductions and rules of the game. "This is out of bounds so stop kicking the ball and running if you go out over this line. This is the goal, if you kick it in here we will all go crazy. Don't push or pull or do anything mean to the other team. You are on the same team so don't kick each other but kicking them is okay." Lastly, I instilled the three main rules of soccer for five year olds.

1. No using your hands ever. (we don't have goalies in this league)

2. No kicking with your toe of your "cleats" (we use the laces, instep or outstep)

3. No crying (this is possibly the rule the parents love the most)

I make my team tell me those rules, scratch that, I make my team yell me those rules many, many times throughout the game. We yell the rules and do 1, 2, 3 Elephants as often as possible. The kids love it and the parents get a kick out of it.

Next, bring a whistle, my wife found mine before practice and it came in handy on countless occations. There are four fields and seven other teams practicing and the kids don't respond to your voice but they sure as hell respond to a whistle.

Finally, make sure you stop the game if one of your kids does something mean to the other team. One of my girls was tackled, and one of my girls pulled a kids shirt. This lead to loads of crying by the offended player. Making them say they are sorry but more importantly singling them out and drawing attention to it, makes them not want to go through that again. We scored two goals, which did lead me to a drill we will be working on this Saturday, goal runs. Ruby and I have been working on the airplane and it's going to be sweet. Remember, the impression you give to the parents and the amount of fun the kids are having are the criteria you as a coach are going to be judged on with five year olds. If someone thinks their kid is the next Landon Donovan, they need to check themselves or find a new team. Also, I am adding this rather incoherently but remember to bring treats to the first game, two of the girls first questions or rather statements were regarding how much they were looking forward to them. Priorities of a five year old.

Please feel free to add comments or tips on making coaching five year olds the best possible experience you can provide. In the meantime I will leave you with this. The other team did come up with a team name by the end of the game. The Pirates...lame.

Armed Robbery

2010-09-10T15:15:00.000-05:00

I got a email today from the UMKC Campus Safety Patrol about a recent incident close to campus. Here is the text from the notice.

"The Rockhurst University Dispatch notified the University of Missouri-Kansas City Police Department of the armed robbery of a UMKC student at approximately 7:30 p.m., Thursday, Sept. 9. The student – who was unharmed – was at the bus stop at 51^st and Troost when approached. After the robbery, the two suspects left the area eastbound on 51^st Street. Only one suspect had a handgun."

That's right, only one suspect had a handgun. Sweet Jesus then, I feel so much safer than if they both had guns because we all know, one gun can't hurt you.

Finally, these descriptions are provide a narrowing focus that eliminates everyone but nearly all of the male population in America.

Suspect 1: Male; approximately 5’11” in height; thin build with hair in a ponytail; wearing a black shirt, blue jeans and black shoes.
Suspect 2: Male; 5’11” in height; thin build with hair in dreads; wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans.

With these clues it's only a matter of time until this case is cracked wide open or more likely never solved.

Bike vs Squirrel

2010-09-08T08:25:00.000-05:00

This story is about my brother-in-law, Chris Ellmer and his run in with a jihadi squirrel.

Ever wondered what would happen if you hit a squirrel while you're out riding? Well, Chris Ellmer found out the hard way. It turned bad for Chris but even worse for the squirrel. Warning: the photos are a tad graphic.

Well, although the pictures may be a bit disturbing to squirrel lovers, I thought the everyone may appreciate a unique kind of bike crash this morning. I'm not even sure how to describe what happened so I'll let the photos tell the story. The end result was one dead squirrel, one ejected cyclist (broke this fall with my face) and a slight delay to Cross season. I mean seriously, a squirrel?

Later,

Chris Ellmer

The comments left on his face book page just further pound home the point of how impossible this seems to be. According to my sister the squirrel wasn't even in his path. It literally ran up the wheel to die. Damn Al Qaeda squirrels. I have to ponder what Chgris may have done in the past to have this karma come wreck his face. Could it be the innocent bloodshed of their cousin Prairie Dogs he has spilled across the ranges? Maybe some distant cousin of one he shot got word Chris was in the area and decided to make the ultimate sacrifice. In the dreys of said squirrel was an picture of Chris with the saying, "revenge is a dish best served cold" above it. Not only could that squirrel read, it read Shakespeare.

Religion vs Spirituality

2010-09-01T10:12:00.001-05:00

"Religion is for people who are afraid they are going to hell.
Spirituality is for the people who have already been there."

my thoughts exactly

Anniversary

2010-08-30T14:15:00.000-05:00

Dear Emily,

Happy Anniversary. It's been seven years since the day I almost passed out walking down the aisle. What a magical day it was. From the monsoon we endured, to pictures at the Nelson, to the bagpipes, all of our friends and the greatest party in the history of my life (and we know that is no small feat) my love for you today continues to grow.

We have a partnership for life. I am still baffled by the sheer chance that I met someone who would be willing to put up with me for all this time and love me more today than yesterday. No one has a crystal ball to predict what their life has in store or the challenges that they will face but one thing is for certain, there is no one I would rather face so those challenges with than you. You are my shield and I try to be the sword although we both know that is not something I have to do very often if ever. You protect me from myself and from situations that might baffle me. Your encouragement and devotion are a reservoir where I can pull strength from.

From you, two of the most amazing little girls were brought to life. They joy and happiness in my soul shines a light on any bad day I may have. Walking in the front door is my favorite part of my day when I see you and the girls, with nothing but love and smiles to share with me. Our relationship is simple, we love each other, we work together to make our lives better, and in rare occasions we argue, we don't do it in front of the kids. It's pretty easy to understand why I love you, you make me a better person.

I love you,

Ben

choking on a mint

2010-08-26T15:32:00.000-05:00

Oh Alice how you have consistently amazed me. Yesterday was the first day of class for the fall semester in my quest for my MPA. As I sat in class nibbling up brain food I got a text from my wife.

It started like this.

Me - "What's for dinner?"

Emily - "I just drove to St. Lukes because choked on a mint and she was acting all weird but now she is drinking and laughing. I think it was trapped and finally went down. Scary. Glad we didn't have to go in. mac and cheese and boca burgers."

Me - "Who was choking?"

Emily - "Alice"

Me - "Dear god scary."

Emily - "Pardon the bad texting i was going fast. That was insanely scary. I almost called 911."

Me - "Is she okay?"

Emily - "Yes now she is sorry."

Me - "Poor kido, no more mints."

Emily - "Ruby said they can have them when they are grownups."

Me - "good call four year old."

Lets break this textalog down for a minute. It started by me asking what we were having for dinner but quickly accelerated to something much more. For future notice when you are relaying information about a sick kid and you have more than one, you might want to mention them by name. An impressive amount of information was put out that first text. Kid choking, almost to hospital, kid okay now, this is what's for dinner. In Kansas this conversation would have been illegal since she was driving and texting, or in Malibu it could have been fatal.

I have to hand it to my wife, being able to wrangle the kids in the car, text me back and have the wherewithal to plan for dinner. I also must commend Ruby on her analysis of the age requirement necessary for proper mint consumption.

All around nice work ladies.

Mothers Against Tweet Driving

2010-08-18T13:55:00.000-05:00

I had to post part of this story I just read on cnn.com. Death might not be the most appropriate topic to laugh at and someone just lost a son but lighten up if this offends you...

Dr. Frank Ryan, plastic surgeon to Heidi Montag and other celebrities, was sending a Twitter message about his border collie just before his fatal car accident, his ex-girlfriend tells PEOPLE.

"He lived up in Malibu on a tiny street and he was texting while driving and he accidentally went over the cliff," Charmaine Blake says.

Blake, a celebrity publicist, says Ryan's family was told by investigators that the Tweeting caused the wreck on Monday.

The dog, whose name is Jill -- Blake's middle name -- was in the car at the time of the crash and survived injuries to the head, eye and paw.

When Al Gore invented the internet do you ever think he foresaw that someday it would manage to kill us? I love twitter but is anything that important that you have to tweet about it while you are driving? Maybe, if you are being held hostage and can tweet out with one hand while driving with the other and managing not to be discovered by the perps that is important. Maybe your wife is pregnant and you are driving to the emergency room, oh wait the more I think about this the more I realize nothing is important enough to tweet about while driving.

Twitter is a giant online billboard on the superhighway of information, where we can post a myriad of things we are doing at any given second. It's not meant to be a phone, or an email, or even a instant message. A few people have probably died looking at billboards while driving and I imagine someone has even died while reading a tweet but do drive off a cliff while creating a tweet we are just inventing new ways to die.

America, I am afraid for all of us.

I love you Maple.

2010-08-13T16:21:00.000-05:00

It is true, you don't know how much you love something until it's gone. My little Maple Genevieve headed home. Lucky isn't the word for it, more like blessed. Maple came to stay with our family back in late May or early June. She is my niece and the daughter of my wife's brother. Her soul is kind and gentle with a free spirit that could only come from her parents. Although, sometimes being a free spirit isn't in the best interest of the little ones.

We all have our problems and work everyday to be a better person than we were the day before. I feel like I am a better parent today than I was two months ago, Maple helped me to see my faults. I wish the same could be said of her parents but this is not the place for that. Maple is only two weeks younger than my Ruby which provided for an interesting dynamic in our house. Arguments, dancing, playing dress up, arguing some more, were basically the norm. My frustration level went to a new high repeating and repeating and repeating the simplest of requests. Use your manners, don't pinch each other, stop crying, don't put that in the light socket, you can't breath underwater, and please be quiet it's time for bed and on and on. I want to think the structure provided and the discipline meted out will take hold and continue as she is back with her Mom, but I don't know.

How do you ask that question? "Can we keep her?"

Her Mom loves her but I can objectively say the environment surrounding her time with us is more conducive to producing a "normal" adult than what she is in now but what is normal. She is happy, safe, fed, clothed, and sheltered. Isn't that all we can really ask? I guess it is.

I just didn't know how much I loved her until she was gone.

I love you Maple.

Wild West Relay - The Entirety

2010-08-09T09:25:00.001-05:00

5:30pm – Just woke up from a comfortable rest in an absolutely fabulous “cabin”. It’s more like a wondrous chalet in the clouds. But let’s talk about legs 1-6 and 6-12

5:41am – The first leg kicked off with Lonnie, ex-marine and all around funny guy leading the way followed by Sean, Chris, Ann, and Emily. I confess now that I know little about the specifics of what is happening during van one’s legs, but needless to say they are all running fast and doing great. Legs 1-4 were pretty level with gradual inclines, but legs 5 and 6 were starting to get pretty steep and damn it’s getting hot. I didn’t sign up for hot. My old man says to me, “Ben, it’s because we’re so much closer to the sun.” Thank you Captain Obvious.

9:00am – Runners (7 – 12) all meet up to ride to the first check point at Livermore High School. The anticipation is killing me. I get all nervous when before a race, some butterflies but more heart racing and dry mouth. My leg (7) can’t get here fast enough. All the runners are in good spirits and the camaraderie is fantastic. Such a tight click and great people; I couldn’t have been luckier to get asked to participate. If you get a chance to run this, do it, but I digress.

9:30am – We thought I would be running by now but leg 6 was very hard and very hot. Van one joins us and is talking about how much harder it is than they expected. Damn. Sean comes up to me, with some spreadsheet to tell me my anticipated time. Sean is an excellent runner, and very prepared. He came with a plan to meet our times. On the other hand, I had no idea how my body was going to handle the altitude, but it didn’t really seem to matter. I was thinking around 27:00 minutes for 3.7 miles would be a strong time. He says 24:30 is my projected time, I about shit myself right there but that’s Ann’s forte. So I have to get away. I pace and stretch, pace and stretch and walk to the exchange zone. My Dad, Ruby, my nephews, Jack and Alex, are all there to cheer us on. I get the word that they can see Emily. I get ready…and I’m off. Like a jackrabbit into the thin air it feels good but again, damn it is hot. My first leg (7) is downhill for 1.85 down and 1.85 up. If I can get a good cushion I will be okay. My lungs are burning but my legs feel good, I see the one mile sign and know this one is almost in the bag. I make the exchange in 23:10, pretty fast, but I’m burning up. I make my way to the van, find out sweaty runners get shotgun (sweet), and on we go. Awesome.

10:00am to 2:30pm – Leg 8 starts good as Todd pounds it out and gets in right where he needs to be. The finish is an uphill and he makes the exchange. You know he is glad to be done and we all laugh because he walks right by us and lays on the ground. He gives us the, “don’t talk to me, leave me alone look" and we all keep our distance. He managed to only get passed once and passed three people. He said if he’s not passed once per leg it’s not the Wild West Relay.

Leg 9 –April takes this one and she has a pretty hard hill right off the bat, but she hustles along and makes a good time. She is much more jovial and pleasant than our previous runner at the finish. She has a few hard legs to go on this relay but she seems like pretty serious runner. April stepped up and took Colleen’s spot after her injury. Anything she brings to the table is a bonus and she is a very capable replacement.

Leg 10 - is Laura Lightning and it’s around five miles straight uphill. She is a trooper, it’s hot, and we’ve been having scattered rains. She makes it in a fantastic time and makes the exchange with a big smile on her face. Colleen told us that Laura has a tendency to get very red but not too worry she’s okay and not dying. Whew. We are waiting this time at the Boy Scout exchange. They have Gatorade Snow cones and a fully stocked aid station. Hands down the best aid station so far and we give them our consideration for best aid station but we shall see.

Leg 11 - is Kara and she runs like a deer. Literally, we call her our little deer or “prancer” works as well. Nice and loose with her hands dangling from her sides she strides away. We pull off at mile 2.2 so we can see if she needs anything. It was raining pretty hard and earlier she said she might cry and need a tissue from all the emotion of running. This lady is hilarious and provides the levity we need. She spends more time talking about what she might need to do before each leg than she does running but good God it’s great. We make it to the next exchange and wait for Kara. She runs in smiling and hands off to Beth. We are almost to our first rest break.

Leg 12 - is Beth and it’s 2.5 miles straight downhill. It’s funny how the universe seems to make things equal because it might be easy but the rain is a “gully washer” and over her last half mile it starts to hail. Mountain weather is radical. While we are waiting at the exchange zone, this tiny little thing comes sprinting in from another team and looks like she is running a 400 meter dash. You can tell that her appearance is much more important than her performance but hey you do what you can. I mean I have great hair. We all look at her and laugh. Beth rolls in and we made good time as a group almost hitting all of our times. Beth tells us she could hear that girl about to pass her and said hello but the runner didn’t even say hi. She had a terminator like disposition and was all business not even eye contact, she was obviously taking this way to serious. We hear that Chris has managed to get a ticket in van two and we have a laugh at that one too. I am having so much fun I have almost forgot I have to run 8.8 miles from 7400 feet to 9200 feet. It is the hardest leg in the race and I’m nervous, but we roll into Crystal Lakes and hit the cabin. We get our grub on and catch some zzz’s, then six pm rolls around and we are out the door to meet up at the next exchange.

Previously Mentioned Traffic Ticket – So someone on our team texts Ann to let them know we are almost at the finish of our last leg. They hadn’t estimated we might run at our paces, or you could say they think we are slow, so they were all lying around and resting. Ann managed to quickly bring it to van one’s attention that they need to hall balls and they pack up quickly and leave. Where they were staying was the cabin I mentioned earlier and it’s in a private community about a half hour from the exchange zone. Chris hops behind the wheel and gives it hell. The roads are dirt and bumpy and Chris is probably driving too fast but whatever, there is a race to get to. Well, right when they are about to get to the entrance of Chrystal Lakes there is a security hut. This is where the trap has been laid. Deputy Dick and his sidekick Barney clock Chris coming through. The sidekick walks out and holds up a stop sign, kind of like you see in road construction. Chris blows right past him but decides to stop down the road. He rolls down his window and Chris says, “Did you need something?”

“Yep, I need you to drive back here to my vehicle so I can give you a ticket,” says Deputy Dick. Chris obliges and drives back.

“What’s your name and where are you staying?”

“Do you need my license?”

“Nope.” At this point it could go one of two ways. You say your name is Bob Jones and you are staying at the Johnson place and give the address or you tell them who you really are. Chris chose the latter and rightly so. He was in a hurry to get out of there and the time it might take to banter on with the Deputy here isn’t worth it. Plus since it’ not a “real” ticket and more like a bill all he is out is some cash.

“Any more of you guys that I should know about up here?” Chris asks the Deputy. While in retrospect this was Chris trying to be funny and the van was cut up, but I just don’t think the Deputy found the humor in it. Anyway, his answer was no.

2:35pm Leg 13 – Lonnie just took over from Beth and is looking at Dead Man’s Hill, pouring down rain, and no running for three weeks prior to the race. Lonnie has a bad knee that has kept him from training for the past three weeks. It was put not so subtly to him to suck it up and don’t be an ass, you are running. The ladies tell it like it is. Come to find out later, he was about a mile in and the van passed him while he was muddling through the madness. The hail was pounding down and about two inches deep on the windshield so Chris decided to go back and see if he was okay. To Lonnie, the cavalry had arrived. He was able to hop in the van and get a ten minute reprieve. His bald dome was getting blasted and he said it was starting to hurt.

3:45pm to 10:30pm Legs 14 to 18 – These are some of the longest mileage legs of the relay. Ten and eleven miles are the average and they are in Larimer River Valley which is very windy and cold. We have left our wonderful cabin and are attempting to catch up with the other van. We pop in Office Space on the DVD player and roll down the roads. We are about an hour from where we need to be and Beth whispers something to Colleen who is driving. None of us know what she said but by the rate which Colleen accelerates I’m sure it was something like, “can you please drive faster.” The next corner is rounded with us sliding around the bend. I prefer to just get there but why not get there fast.

We catch up with the group at the exchange between 15 and 16. Amazingly our paranoia of being late was missed place so we are around two hours early. Great, that means extra time for me to think about what lies ahead. Van two is doing well time wise but we are kind of worried about how they feel. They appear more uncomfortable than we do. It could be the fact we have a plethora of snacks and food, a very low key vibe, and a laid back group of people. They are running low on water, have ate all there snacks and are generally worked over. We indulge them and drive off to the next exchange zone. On the way there the scenery is fantastic. The sun is setting, the wildlife is all over, an antelope runs across the road, and we are all just feeling at peace. We look off to our right and see a rainbow. Not a double rainbow but, “oh man wow………” is how we are feeling. Kara looks off to the left and says, “oh my God is that snow on that mountain?” Actually no, it’s a white cloud against the dark setting sky. We all die laughing. Holy shit, that mountain would have been like Everest but in Kara’s mind she was more worried about all the potential snow. A classic line, for a classic race provided by our very own prancer, Kara might get worked up about things and be a little wacky but she has nothing but love for all of us.

10:00pm – Exchange zone. We meet up with van one and wait for Emily to come in. We are all getting kind of amped up for our second legs. Van one is getting excited to be done and ready to get some sleep. Both groups are hanging out and chit chatting discussing how everyone feels and expectations for the rest of the race. All the while, Kara has about three to four hours before her next leg but you would think she is up next. She is buzzing around asking if she should eat, should she rest, can she pee, is it okay to get some coffee. As she sits there questioning the group, Chris has decided to put an end to it. “Kara, calm the f*&K down.” We all erupt in laughter and decide then that next year we have a new team name. “Everyone calm the f*&K down.” Perfect.

10:30pm – Leg 19 is 8.8 miles uphill the entire way. I’m not joking. I start at 7400 feet and end at 9200 feet. It’s pretty brutal as I head out and keep wondering if it’s ever going to get easier. The answer is no. I have my leg maps memorized and I know it doesn’t get flat but I can only hope things change. There is a saying about not going into a dark alley alone, which is similar to your brain. The strange and bizarre things you can think up while you are by yourself on a mountain road, surrounded by darkness, with nothing around but your thoughts, is fairly astounding. This is the first and only time that I get passed during the race. An ultra-marathon team runner and two high school kids pass by quickly and quietly. I keep plugging away and am praying to see the one mile to go sign. The solace and comfort every runner takes in seeing that sign is wild. When you get to that point you know the pain is almost over and nothing will stop you then. Unfortunately, the persistent head wind I was running into blew the sign over so by the time I realize I’m not going to see it the exchange zone is in sight. Who cares, I run in and pass to Todd and thank God right there that one is over. Around nine miles in 76 minutes, not too shabby.

12:00am – Leg 20 Todd has a fairly flat leg but it is at altitude and it is midnight, not your typical running time but not your typical race. We get to the exchange zone and at this point the team is more likely to hang out in the van between runners than get out and cheer. Plus it’s kind of cold and windy, and it’s late for all of us, but I already ran so I feel obligated to get out and support. As he hands off to April he asks what his time was. Around 40 minutes for four miles. He is pissed. He says he felt like he was really going hard and fast and the time must be wrong. As much as I would like the clock to be wrong, no such luck. The darkness makes you feel like you are really moving sometimes but hey he finished, his time was fine and we are on the road again. We are all our own worst critics and we can be too hard on ourselves sometimes, many lessons are there to be learned on this race if we are open to them. Once we hit the van he asks me how many shooting stars I saw during my run. I just laugh. I thought he was joking, but I tell him zero, I didn’t look up once, I was in pain and it was all I could do to just look down. Next time, I will take more time to look around.

12:40am – Leg 21 is April; this run starts uphill and then rolls a bit. The finish is downhill and she can cruise in and feel good. She pounds out a good time and managed to see a few shooting stars. It’s around 1:45am and she hands off to Laura. In the van she tells us she screamed out loud a few times when she was passed. Many times runners will say, “Passing on your right” as they prepare to pass you but a few times the runners just blaze by you like thief in the night and can startle you pretty good. April said she literally screamed out loud each time. She also said she is starting to get a little loopy which is true considering she has called Laura, Emily repeatedly as we go along.

1:30am – Leg 22 Laura Lightning on the course again and she has a pretty good uphill road to run. It’s really late in the evening or early in the morning and we are all getting a little fatigued and loopy considering. She has a leg of around six miles and her goal is to come in under an hour. She comes in smiling again and is happy to be done. We all know we can get some rest after these legs but more importantly we each have only one leg left after this section and then it’s all over.

2:30am – Leg 23 Kara is at it again. She has a little over four miles and only has one real uphill to deal with at the end. The organizer of this event likes to put a little pain on you right at the end just so everyone suffers. An equal opportunity sadist. For all the fretting Kara put in before this leg started you would think she would be a wreck but the running calms the nerves and puts the fears at bay. We stop a couple times in her run to make sure she is okay and see if she needs anything. She gives us the okay with a wave and a smile each time we ask so we tell her we will meet her at the end.

3:30am – Leg 24 Beth is our anchor for all of our sections and she has a four miler to end this section. She gets the handoff or high-five and heads out into the night. The end of our sections are fun because we get to meet up with van one, exchange pleasantries and go get some rest. This time, Beth and Colleen are the only two who get out of the van. We are all pretty tired and know that our hotel is located about a half mile away right in Walden, CO. I must confess, my team has done this race before and made reservations for a hotel and arranged the cabin as our rest area breaks. Most teams are sleeping in vans or on the side of the road but nowhere in the rules does it say you can’t take advantage of modern amenities and we do just such. So we hit the hotel some take showers and some of us just hit the pillows. I have never fallen asleep so fast in my life and I am in dreamland before my eyes are shut. Seriously.

6:00am – I actually have the schedule to sleep longer but when I opened my eyes its daylight outside and I am immediately awake. You know when you wake up and you are convinced you overslept, I had that moment. Actually, I have about a couple of hours before we have to leave so I shower and walk over to the shell station to get a Rockstar and a banana, which has been my prerace meal for quite some time now. The sun is slowly starting to creep up with just a little dew on the ground. It’s a brisk fifty degrees outside compared to my usually blazing 85 degree mornings in KC. The rest of the gang is one by one taking showers and starting to stir. I am almost done with said Rockstar and banana and managed to finish a couple pages of this blog when it’s time to go to breakfast.

7:30am - As we head out the door we get a text from Lonnie informing us that they are on schedule and would like some cold beers waiting for them at the next van exchange. When they complete these legs all that will be left for van one is waiting for us to get to the end so we can all cross the finish line together. We make our way over to the local café so the rest of the team can get their grub on. I come along but will be passing on breakfast due to my championship diet I already partook in. After our order is taken Beth and I head out for our beer run. As we enter the Shell Station, we are greeted with a “hello ladies” from the woman behind the counter. I reply with my best baritone “hello” but she is unaffected. We buy about a case worth of assorted goodness and head to the counter. “What are you ladies up to this morning?” Beth is doing her best not to crack up but replies, “we are in the Wild West Relay and he has to run next.” Not so much as a “oh sorry sir forgive me” she just looks at me and smiles. Crap I guess I have to get a haircut, unless I am just a very pretty man.

Legs 25 – 30 Are just a little behind schedule but completed and all the while they get watch a beautiful Colorado sunrise.

9:30am – We hook up with van one at the final group exchanged and Emily is about half an hour out. Plenty of time for me to get ready and stretched out. For the first time, since the race started my legs are slightly fatigued and that could be problematic. Leg 31 is Rabbit Ear Pass, one of the most talked about legs. The starting elevation is around 8400 feet and summits at Rabbit Ear Pass located on the Continental Divide and 9450 feet. It’s only 5.7 miles with two flat miles to start and then a pretty sharp grade to the top. Don’t take pity on me, I asked for the hard legs and the team was happy to oblige. For my last leg I busted out my favorite running gear. Adidas Marathon 10’s with the florescent yellow highlights, Banzai socks pulled up to my knees, blue shorts, Beer Run team shirt covered by an orange safety vest, American flag banana folded as a headband, and samurai pony tail pulled back on the top of my head. You gotta let the freak flag fly every once in awhile and what better time than my last leg. I talk to my sister and she estimates an hour long leg. With the grade and altitude I will be lucky to hit ten minute miles. I concur.

10:12am – Leg 31 starts with Emily coming into the runner exchange crying and about to hit the wall. She is hot, tired, feels sick, and the icing on the cake occurs when she breaks her iPod as she drops it when high-fiving me. I take off at what feel like a sluggish pace, my thighs aren’t feeling very good and I can’t up my stride turnover. I settle in and decide I won’t push the flat first two miles to save it for the inclined final four. I have been trying to catch two runners in front of me and as I am about twenty yard behind they reach highway 40. You have to have one of the race marshals clear you to cross and they are flagged through right away. As I approach, a line of cars from the North and South appear and I have to stand on the side for about a minute. In retrospect I think this is the best thing that could have happened. When I am able to cross I already feel better, my legs are feeling good and my spirits are high, only four more miles and my portion of this race is over. SWEET JESUS! I manage to get going and my Dad appears driving down the road he yells some encouragement and the usual “go faster” and I keep it up. He turns around, drives ahead, and pulls over. He runs over to my side of the highway and ready’s himself for some pictures. At this point I have passed one guy and have taken off my shirt only rocking the reflective vest on the top. He snaps some hot pics, wishes me well and is off to the top. I am feeling pretty strong and have a runner from team Pretty Hot Doctors in my sights. I stride up to her, run side by side for a moment, tell her good job, and then move ahead. Then like an oasis in the desert, I see the one mile to go sign. Incredible, I thought I had a few miles left and as I glance at my watch I realize I have ten minutes to break fifty minutes. That means I am going to run around an 8:15 mile or so. I manage to pass another runner who informs me his legs have quit on him and I surprise my team who wasn’t expecting me so soon. Todd runs up to the exchange and I do my best to kick in a strong finish. I cross the line in around 49 minutes to high-fives, way-to-go’s, and some pats on the back. It feels so good to be done but the sense of accomplishment and happiness that I made my expected times and didn’t let anyone down fill me with contentment. The fear of failure is a motivating factor in my life and I’m glad I was able to uphold my end of the bargain. Also, my baby girl, Ruby, is at the top waiting as well and she gives me a big hug and say’s, “I love you”. It’s been a good run.

11:00am – Leg 32 ends with Todd charging in hard. He started with a rolling hill and then back down for a few miles. He managed to find a running partner with one to go and holds on with her for the last part in. He passed off to April who is ready to get this thing done. Todd informs us that he is ready for a beer, and shortly thereafter another. At this point it is a needed rewarded.

11:40am – Leg 33 starts with a rough uphill and down, another slight uphill and then fast down. We came up one side of the mountain and have to go down the other to arrive in Steamboat. People think running downhill is easy but it hurts your toes and puts a lot of stress on your knees and hips. An hour later April is in done and happy. By this point our families are starting to make their way up to the checkpoints to cheer us in and see their loved ones. I think between the twelve team members there must be twenty kids. It’s awesome and the example being set by everyone is something you wish you would see from all walks of life. Next up, one of our speedsters, Laura Lightning.

12:40pm Leg 34 – Laura lives up to the name, which she gave to herself when she found out I was writing a blog. This is a wicked downhill with around with an elevation loss of around 1800 feet. That may sound appealing but it’s getting really hot, you can’t have van support in these last legs and running down hill is a real challenge. She tells us she would like to be at the exchange between 40 and 50 minutes. That would be either an 8 minute pace or a 10 minute pace due to the five mile distance. She comes across in 39:50. Lightning has struck, damn girl that’s a sub 8 minute mile and she is putting in some good work. She comes in prancing like a ballerina, you can see the happiness and relief with the knowledge that she is done. She and Kara nail a double jump high-five and we are down to the final two.

1:20pm Leg 35 – 4.3 miles almost all flat or downhill. This should be a piece of cake but Kara has no water bottle to run with and is pretty worn out. She takes off well and we pass her with about one mile and she gives us her, I’m okay smile and wave. Thankfully, Sean shows up with around two miles left and gets out and runs with her for almost the next two miles, he passes her a Gatorade which she chugs and a water to pour on her head. It is around 85ish, this is hot for this part of the country and these mountain dwellers can’t take the heat as well as us flatlanders. It might be the only advantage I had coming into this race. Dan, April’s husband, goes out and shows up at our van with smoothies for the six of us. A very thoughtful and appreciated move, if I didn’t say thank you enough, Dan you were a godsend. At this point the majority of the kids have gathered at the final exchange to cheer Beth on for her final leg and congratulate Kara. It’s a pretty memorable scene.

2:00pm Leg 36 – 5.0 miles and it’s not a cakewalk finish. It hot down in Steamboat and she’s running on an open, mixed use paved trail. I can only imagine what the daily exercisers are thinking when they pass these struggling, hot runners who look like the ass end of creation and just want the pain to stop. There is a pretty good grade for the last few miles and she is behind a few teams that we want to pass, Pretty Hot Doctors, More Cowbell, Embrace the Suck, and Drinkers with a Running Problem. Creativity is not lacking in the naming conventions during these races and as I mentioned before, Everybody Calm the F*&K Down just might be our moniker next year. Like a vision at Magigoria, we see Beth about two hundred meters away and the celebration is about to begin. Beth managed to pass Pretty Hot Doctors and More Cowbell our triumph is nearly complete.

Finish – 2:52pm By this point we have been running for 33:12:14 about 10:00 minutes a mile for 200 miles. We all met with Beth and ran the last 100 meters together and crossed as a group. It is finally over and some strong emotions swept over me but I actually managed to keep them in. We get our medals and meal tickets and have an impromptu picnic. The kids are going crazy running around everywhere being themselves and having a blast. One kid didn’t make it from the condo and it caused fifteen minutes of madness but his parents went back and got him and rejoined us for our final group picture. Later on as I’m getting ready to pack up and leave with my old man, Jan, and Ruby, Lonnie says to me, “You’re not missing any kids are you. You better take a tally. Did I say that out loud?” Man, pour some salt on the wound Lonnie, nice parting shot.

There was one final story I wanted to tell involving a bee, a womanly like freak out by Sean, a fast acting Ann to capture and rid the van of said bee, and Sean pleading for Chris to pull over and Lonnie telling Chris, “keep driving”. That my friends, was van one.

The memories from this race will last me a lifetime. I got to know ten people I had never met before and consider them friends. I spent over thirty hours in tight quarters with six people, including my sister, whom with I would run again with any day. The rigors and pain that come with this relay have only enforced my sense of accomplishment and mental toughness that is a trait of all of my teammates. Life teaches us lessons when we are open to take them in and this relay was chock full of learning experiences. I can say with confidence, I have memories that will last a lifetime, friends that I will never forget, and a sweet bib number and medal to hang in my garage.

I would like to say thanks to the race organizer, the countless volunteers, (Boy Scouts you got our vote for best aid station), supporters, friends and family who gave up their time to watch our kids, follow us on the road, and give us shelter. Without your help, we couldn’t have done any of this and a big thank you is necessary.

To my teammates, thanks for cheering me on, keeping the mood light, and not being van one. I will remember you forever. 5:30pm – Just woke up from a comfortable rest in an absolutely fabulous “cabin”. It’s more like a wondrous chalet in the clouds. But let’s talk about legs 1-6 and 6-12

5:41am – The first leg kicked off with Lonnie, ex-marine and all around funny guy leading the way followed by Sean, Chris, Ann, and Emily. I confess now that I know little about the specifics of what is happening during van one’s legs, but needless to say they are all running fast and doing great. Legs 1-4 were pretty level with gradual inclines, but legs 5 and 6 were starting to get pretty steep and damn it’s getting hot. I didn’t sign up for hot. My old man says to me, “Ben, it’s because we’re so much closer to the sun.” Thank you Captain Obvious.

9:00am – Runners (7 – 12) all meet up to ride to the first check point at Livermore High School. The anticipation is killing me. I get all nervous when before a race, some butterflies but more heart racing and dry mouth. My leg (7) can’t get here fast enough. All the runners are in good spirits and the camaraderie is fantastic. Such a tight click and great people; I couldn’t have been luckier to get asked to participate. If you get a chance to run this, do it, but I digress.

9:30am – We thought I would be running by now but leg 6 was very hard and very hot. Van one joins us and is talking about how much harder it is than they expected. Damn. Sean comes up to me, with some spreadsheet to tell me my anticipated time. Sean is an excellent runner, and very prepared. He came with a plan to meet our times. On the other hand, I had no idea how my body was going to handle the altitude, but it didn’t really seem to matter. I was thinking around 27:00 minutes for 3.7 miles would be a strong time. He says 24:30 is my projected time, I about shit myself right there but that’s Ann’s forte. So I have to get away. I pace and stretch, pace and stretch and walk to the exchange zone. My Dad, Ruby, my nephews, Jack and Alex, are all there to cheer us on. I get the word that they can see Emily. I get ready…and I’m off. Like a jackrabbit into the thin air it feels good but again, damn it is hot. My first leg (7) is downhill for 1.85 down and 1.85 up. If I can get a good cushion I will be okay. My lungs are burning but my legs feel good, I see the one mile sign and know this one is almost in the bag. I make the exchange in 23:10, pretty fast, but I’m burning up. I make my way to the van, find out sweaty runner get shotgun (sweet), and on we go. Awesome.

10:00am to 2:30pm – Leg 8 starts good as Todd pounds it out and gets in right where he needs to be. The finish is an uphill and he makes the exchange. You know he is glad to be done and we all laugh because he walks right by us and lays on the ground. He gives us the, “don’t talk to me, leave me alone” look and we all keep our distance. He managed to only get passed once and passed three people. He said if he’s not passed once per leg it’s not the Wild West Relay.

Leg 9 –April takes this one and she has a pretty hard hill right off the bat, but she hustles along and makes a good time. She is much more jovial and pleasant than our pervious runner at the finish. She has a few hard legs to go on this relay but she seems like pretty serious runner. April stepped up and took Colleen’s spot after her injury. Anything she brings to the table is a bonus and she is a very capable replacement.

Leg 10 - is Laura Lightning and it’s around five miles straight uphill. She is a trooper, it’s hot, and we’ve been having scattered rains. She makes it in a fantastic time and makes the exchange with a big smile on her face. Colleen told us that Laura has a tendency to get very red but not too worry she’s okay and not dying. Whew. We are waiting this time at the Boy Scout exchange. They have Gatorade Snow cones and a fully stocked aid station. Hands down the best aid station so far and we give them our consideration for best aid station but we shall see.

Leg 11 - is Kara and she runs like a deer. Literally, we call her our little deer or “prancer” works as well. Nice and loose with her hands dangling from her sides she strides away. We pull off at mile 2.2 so we can see if she needs anything. It was raining pretty hard and earlier she said she might cry and need a tissue from all the emotion of running. This lady is hilarious and provides the levity we need. She spends more time talking about what she might need to do before each leg than she does running but good God it’s great. We make it to the next exchange and wait for Kara. She runs in smiling and hands off to Beth. We are almost to our first rest break.

Leg 12 - is Beth and it’s 2.5 miles straight downhill. It’s funny how the universe seems to make things equal because it might be easy but the rain is a “gully washer” and over her last half mile it starts to hail. Mountain weather is radical. While we are waiting at the exchange zone, this tiny little thing comes sprinting in from another team and looks like she is running a 400 meter dash. You can tell that her appearance is much more important than her performance but hey you do what you can. I mean I have great hair. We all look at her and laugh. Beth rolls in and we made good time as a group almost hitting all of our times. Beth tells us she could hear that girl about to pass her and said hello but the runner didn’t even say hi. She had a terminator like disposition and was all business not even eye contact, she was obviously taking this way to serious. We hear that Chris has managed to get a ticket in van two and we have a laugh at that one too. I am having so much fun I have almost forgot I have to run 8.8 miles from 7400 feet to 9200 feet. It is the hardest leg in the race and I’m nervous, but we roll into Crystal Lakes and hit the cabin. We get our grub on and catch some zzz’s, then six pm rolls around and we are out the door to meet up at the next exchange.

Previously Mentioned Traffic Ticket – So someone on our team texts Ann to let them know we are almost at the finish of our last leg. They hadn’t estimated we might run at our paces, or you could say they think we are slow, so they were all lying around and resting. Ann managed to quickly bring it to van one’s attention that they need to hall balls and they pack up quickly and leave. Where they were staying was the cabin I mentioned earlier and it’s in a private community about a half hour from the exchange zone. Chris hops behind the wheel and gives it hell. The roads are dirt and bumpy and Chris is probably driving too fast but whatever, there is a race to get to. Well, right when they are about to get to the entrance of Chrystal Lakes there is a security hut. This is where the trap has been laid. Deputy Dick and his sidekick Barney clock Chris coming through. The sidekick walks out and holds up a stop sign, kind of like you see in road construction. Chris blows right past him but decides to stop down the road. He rolls down his window and Chris says, “Did you need something?”

“Yep, I need you to drive back here to my vehicle so I can give you a ticket,” says Deputy Dick. Chris obliges and drives back.

“What’s your name and where are you staying?”

“Do you need my license?”

“Nope.” At this point it could go one of two ways. You say your name is Bob Jones and you are staying at the Johnson place and give the address or you tell them who you really are. Chris chose the latter and rightly so. He was in a hurry to get out of there and the time it might take to banter on with the Deputy here isn’t worth it. Plus since it’ not a “real” ticket and more like a bill all he is out is some cash.

“Any more of you guys that I should know about up here?” Chris asks the Deputy. While in retrospect this was Chris trying to be funny and the van was cut up, but I just don’t think the Deputy found the humor in it. Anyway, his answer was no.

2:35pm Leg 13 – Lonnie just took over from Beth and is looking at Dead Man’s Hill, pouring down rain, and no running for three weeks prior to the race. Lonnie has a bad knee that has kept him from training for the past three weeks. It was put not so subtly to him to suck it up and don’t be an ass, you are running. The ladies tell it like it is. Come to find out later, he was about a mile in and the van passed him while he was muddling through the madness. The hail was pounding down and about two inches deep on the windshield so Chris decided to go back and see if he was okay. To Lonnie, the cavalry had arrived. He was able to hop in the van and get a ten minute reprieve. His bald dome was getting blasted and he said it was starting to hurt.

3:45pm to 10:30pm Legs 14 to 18 – These are some of the longest mileage legs of the relay. Ten and eleven miles are the average and they are in Larimer River Valley which is very windy and cold. We have left our wonderful cabin and are attempting to catch up with the other van. We pop in Office Space on the DVD player and roll down the roads. We are about an hour from where we need to be and Beth whispers something to Colleen who is driving. None of us know what she said but by the rate which Colleen accelerates I’m sure it was something like, “can you please drive faster.” The next corner is rounded with us sliding around the bend. I prefer to just get there but why not get there fast.

We catch up with the group at the exchange between 15 and 16. Amazingly our paranoia of being late was missed place so we are around two hours early. Great, that means extra time for me to think about what lies ahead. Van two is doing well time wise but we are kind of worried about how they feel. They appear more uncomfortable than we do. It could be the fact we have a plethora of snacks and food, a very low key vibe, and a laid back group of people. They are running low on water, have ate all there snacks and are generally worked over. We indulge them and drive off to the next exchange zone. On the way there the scenery is fantastic. The sun is setting, the wildlife is all over, an antelope runs across the road, and we are all just feeling at peace. We look off to our right and see a rainbow. Not a double rainbow but, “oh man wow………” is how we are feeling. Kara looks off to the left and says, “oh my God is that snow on that mountain?” Actually no, it’s a white cloud against the dark setting sky. We all die laughing. Holy shit, that mountain would have been like Everest but in Kara’s mind she was more worried about all the potential snow. A classic line, for a classic race provided by our very own prancer, Kara might get worked up about things and be a little wacky but she has nothing but love for all of us.

10:00pm – Exchange zone. We meet up with van one and wait for Emily to come in. We are all getting kind of amped up for our second legs. Van one is getting excited to be done and ready to get some sleep. Both groups are hanging out and chit chatting discussing how everyone feels and expectations for the rest of the race. All the while, Kara has about three to four hours before her next leg but you would think she is up next. She is buzzing around asking if she should eat, should she rest, can she pee, is it okay to get some coffee. As she sits there questioning the group, Chris has decided to put an end to it. “Kara, calm the f*&K down.” We all erupt in laughter and decide then that next year we have a new team name. “Everyone calm the f*&K down.” Perfect.

10:30pm – Leg 19 is 8.8 miles uphill the entire way. I’m not joking. I start at 7400 feet and end at 9200 feet. It’s pretty brutal as I head out and keep wondering if it’s ever going to get easier. The answer is no. I have my leg maps memorized and I know it doesn’t get flat but I can only hope things change. There is a saying about not going into a dark alley alone, which is similar to your brain. The strange and bizarre things you can think up while you are by yourself on a mountain road, surrounded by darkness, with nothing around but your thoughts, is fairly astounding. This is the first and only time that I get passed during the race. An ultra-marathon team runner and two high school kids pass by quickly and quietly. I keep plugging away and am praying to see the one mile to go sign. The solace and comfort every runner takes in seeing that sign is wild. When you get to that point you know the pain is almost over and nothing will stop you then. Unfortunately, the persistent head wind I was running into blew the sign over so by the time I realize I’m not going to see it the exchange zone is in sight. Who cares, I run in and pass to Todd and thank God right there that one is over. Around nine miles in 76 minutes, not too shabby.

12:00am – Leg 20 Todd has a fairly flat leg but it is at altitude and it is midnight, not your typical running time but not your typical race. We get to the exchange zone and at this point the team is more likely to hang out in the van between runners than get out and cheer. Plus it’s kind of cold and windy, and it’s late for all of us, but I already ran so I feel obligated to get out and support. As he hands off to April he asks what his time was. Around 40 minutes for four miles. He is pissed. He says he felt like he was really going hard and fast and the time must be wrong. As much as I would like the clock to be wrong, no such luck. The darkness makes you feel like you are really moving sometimes but hey he finished, his time was fine and we are on the road again. We are all our own worst critics and we can be too hard on ourselves sometimes, many lessons are there to be learned on this race if we are open to them. Once we hit the van he asks me how many shooting stars I saw during my run. I just laugh. I thought he was joking, but I tell him zero, I didn’t look up once, I was in pain and it was all I could do to just look down. Next time, I will take more time to look around.

12:40am – Leg 21 is April; this run starts uphill and then rolls a bit. The finish is downhill and she can cruise in and feel good. She pounds out a good time and managed to see a few shooting stars. It’s around 1:45am and she hands off to Laura. In the van she tells us she screamed out loud a few times when she was passed. Many times runners will say, “Passing on your right” as they prepare to pass you but a few times the runners just blaze by you like thief in the night and can startle you pretty good. April said she literally screamed out loud each time. She also said she is starting to get a little loopy which is true considering she has called Laura, Emily repeatedly as we go along.

1:30am – Leg 22 Laura Lightning on the course again and she has a pretty good uphill road to run. It’s really late in the evening or early in the morning and we are all getting a little fatigued and loopy considering. She has a leg of around six miles and her goal is to come in under an hour. She comes in smiling again and is happy to be done. We all know we can get some rest after these legs but more importantly we each have only one leg left after this section and then it’s all over.

2:30am – Leg 23 Kara is at it again. She has a little over four miles and only has one real uphill to deal with at the end. The organizer of this event likes to put a little pain on you right at the end just so everyone suffers. An equal opportunity sadist. For all the fretting Kara put in before this leg started you would think she would be a wreck but the running calms the nerves and puts the fears at bay. We stop a couple times in her run to make sure she is okay and see if she needs anything. She gives us the okay with a wave and a smile each time we ask so we tell her we will meet her at the end.

3:30am – Leg 24 Beth is our anchor for all of our sections and she has a four miler to end this section. She gets the handoff or high-five and heads out into the night. The end of our sections are fun because we get to meet up with van one, exchange pleasantries and go get some rest. This time, Beth and Colleen are the only two who get out of the van. We are all pretty tired and know that our hotel is located about a half mile away right in Walden, CO. I must confess, my team has done this race before and made reservations for a hotel and arranged the cabin as our rest area breaks. Most teams are sleeping in vans or on the side of the road but nowhere in the rules does it say you can’t take advantage of modern amenities and we do just such. So we hit the hotel some take showers and some of us just hit the pillows. I have never fallen asleep so fast in my life and I am in dreamland before my eyes are shut. Seriously.

6:00am – I actually have the schedule to sleep longer but when I opened my eyes its daylight outside and I am immediately awake. You know when you wake up and you are convinced you overslept, I had that moment. Actually, I have about a couple of hours before we have to leave so I shower and walk over to the shell station to get a Rockstar and a banana, which has been my prerace meal for quite some time now. The sun is slowly starting to creep up with just a little dew on the ground. It’s a brisk fifty degrees outside compared to my usually blazing 85 degree mornings in KC. The rest of the gang is one by one taking showers and starting to stir. I am almost done with said Rockstar and banana and managed to finish a couple pages of this blog when it’s time to go to breakfast.

7:30am - As we head out the door we get a text from Lonnie informing us that they are on schedule and would like some cold beers waiting for them at the next van exchange. When they complete these legs all that will be left for van one is waiting for us to get to the end so we can all cross the finish line together. We make our way over to the local café so the rest of the team can get their grub on. I come along but will be passing on breakfast due to my championship diet I already partook in. After our order is taken Beth and I head out for our beer run. As we enter the Shell Station, we are greeted with a “hello ladies” from the woman behind the counter. I reply with my best baritone “hello” but she is unaffected. We buy about a case worth of assorted goodness and head to the counter. “What are you ladies up to this morning?” Beth is doing her best not to crack up but replies, “we are in the Wild West Relay and he has to run next.” Not so much as a “oh sorry sir forgive me” she just looks at me and smiles. Crap I guess I have to get a haircut, unless I am just a very pretty man.

Legs 25 – 30 Are just a little behind schedule but completed and all the while they get watch a beautiful Colorado sunrise.

9:30am – We hook up with van one at the final group exchanged and Emily is about half an hour out. Plenty of time for me to get ready and stretched out. For the first time, since the race started my legs are slightly fatigued and that could be problematic. Leg 31 is Rabbit Ear Pass, one of the most talked about legs. The starting elevation is around 8400 feet and summits at Rabbit Ear Pass located on the Continental Divide and 9450 feet. It’s only 5.7 miles with two flat miles to start and then a pretty sharp grade to the top. Don’t take pity on me, I asked for the hard legs and the team was happy to oblige. For my last leg I busted out my favorite running gear. Adidas Marathon 10’s with the florescent yellow highlights, Banzai socks pulled up to my knees, blue shorts, Beer Run team shirt covered by an orange safety vest, American flag banana folded as a headband, and samurai pony tail pulled back on the top of my head. You gotta let the freak flag fly every once in awhile and what better time than my last leg. I talk to my sister and she estimates an hour long leg. With the grade and altitude I will be lucky to hit ten minute miles. I concur.

10:12am – Leg 31 starts with Emily coming into the runner exchange crying and about to hit the wall. She is hot, tired, feels sick, and the icing on the cake occurs when she breaks her iPod as she drops it when high-fiving me. I take off at what feel like a sluggish pace, my thighs aren’t feeling very good and I can’t up my stride turnover. I settle in and decide I won’t push the flat first two miles to save it for the inclined final four. I have been trying to catch two runners in front of me and as I am about twenty yard behind they reach highway 40. You have to have one of the race marshals clear you to cross and they are flagged through right away. As I approach, a line of cars from the North and South appear and I have to stand on the side for about a minute. In retrospect I think this is the best thing that could have happened. When I am able to cross I already feel better, my legs are feeling good and my spirits are high, only four more miles and my portion of this race is over. SWEET JESUS! I manage to get going and my Dad appears driving down the road he yells some encouragement and the usual “go faster” and I keep it up. He turns around, drives ahead, and pulls over. He runs over to my side of the highway and ready’s himself for some pictures. At this point I have passed one guy and have taken off my shirt only rocking the reflective vest on the top. He snaps some hot pics, wishes me well and is off to the top. I am feeling pretty strong and have a runner from team Pretty Hot Doctors in my sights. I stride up to her, run side by side for a moment, tell her good job, and then move ahead. Then like an oasis in the desert, I see the one mile to go sign. Incredible, I thought I had a few miles left and as I glance at my watch I realize I have ten minutes to break fifty minutes. That means I am going to run around an 8:15 mile or so. I manage to pass another runner who informs me his legs have quit on him and I surprise my team who wasn’t expecting me so soon. Todd runs up to the exchange and I do my best to kick in a strong finish. I cross the line in around 49 minutes to high-fives, way-to-go’s, and some pats on the back. It feels so good to be done but the sense of accomplishment and happiness that I made my expected times and didn’t let anyone down fill me with contentment. The fear of failure is a motivating factor in my life and I’m glad I was able to uphold my end of the bargain. Also, my baby girl, Ruby, is at the top waiting as well and she gives me a big hug and say’s, “I love you”. It’s been a good run.

11:00am – Leg 32 ends with Todd charging in hard. He started with a rolling hill and then back down for a few miles. He managed to find a running partner with one to go and holds on with her for the last part in. He passed off to April who is ready to get this thing done. Todd informs us that he is ready for a beer, and shortly thereafter another. At this point it is a needed rewarded.

11:40am – Leg 33 starts with a rough uphill and down, another slight uphill and then fast down. We came up one side of the mountain and have to go down the other to arrive in Steamboat. People think running downhill is easy but it hurts your toes and puts a lot of stress on your knees and hips. An hour later April is in done and happy. By this point our families are starting to make their way up to the checkpoints to cheer us in and see their loved ones. I think between the twelve team members there must be twenty kids. It’s awesome and the example being set by everyone is something you wish you would see from all walks of life. Next up, one of our speedsters, Laura Lightning.

12:40pm Leg 34 – Laura lives up to the name, which she gave to herself when she found out I was writing a blog. This is a wicked downhill with around with an elevation loss of around 1800 feet. That may sound appealing but it’s getting really hot, you can’t have van support in these last legs and running down hill is a real challenge. She tells us she would like to be at the exchange between 40 and 50 minutes. That would be either an 8 minute pace or a 10 minute pace due to the five mile distance. She comes across in 39:50. Lightning has struck, damn girl that’s a sub 8 minute mile and she is putting in some good work. She comes in prancing like a ballerina, you can see the happiness and relief with the knowledge that she is done. She and Kara nail a double jump high-five and we are down to the final two.

1:20pm Leg 35 – 4.3 miles almost all flat or downhill. This should be a piece of cake but Kara has no water bottle to run with and is pretty worn out. She takes off well and we pass her with about one mile and she gives us her, I’m okay smile and wave. Thankfully, Sean shows up with around two miles left and gets out and runs with her for almost the next two miles, he passes her a Gatorade which she chugs and a water to pour on her head. It is around 85ish, this is hot for this part of the country and these mountain dwellers can’t take the heat as well as us flatlanders. It might be the only advantage I had coming into this race. Dan, April’s husband, goes out and shows up at our van with smoothies for the six of us. A very thoughtful and appreciated move, if I didn’t say thank you enough, Dan you were a godsend. At this point the majority of the kids have gathered at the final exchange to cheer Beth on for her final leg and congratulate Kara. It’s a pretty memorable scene.

2:00pm Leg 36 – 5.0 miles and it’s not a cakewalk finish. It hot down in Steamboat and she’s running on an open, mixed use paved trail. I can only imagine what the daily exercisers are thinking when they pass these struggling, hot runners who look like the ass end of creation and just want the pain to stop. There is a pretty good grade for the last few miles and she is behind a few teams that we want to pass, Pretty Hot Doctors, More Cowbell, Embrace the Suck, and Drinkers with a Running Problem. Creativity is not lacking in the naming conventions during these races and as I mentioned before, Everybody Calm the F*&K Down just might be our moniker next year. Like a vision at Magigoria, we see Beth about two hundred meters away and the celebration is about to begin. Beth managed to pass Pretty Hot Doctors and More Cowbell our triumph is nearly complete.

Finish – 2:52pm By this point we have been running for 33:12:14 about 10:00 minutes a mile for 200 miles. We all met with Beth and ran the last 100 meters together and crossed as a group. It is finally over and some strong emotions swept over me but I actually managed to keep them in. We get our medals and meal tickets and have an impromptu picnic. The kids are going crazy running around everywhere being themselves and having a blast. One kid didn’t make it from the condo and it caused fifteen minutes of madness but his parents went back and got him and rejoined us for our final group picture. Later on as I’m getting ready to pack up and leave with my old man, Jan, and Ruby, Lonnie says to me, “You’re not missing any kids are you. You better take a tally. Did I say that out loud?” Man, pour some salt on the wound Lonnie, nice parting shot.

There was one final story I wanted to tell involving a bee, a womanly like freak out by Sean, a fast acting Ann to capture and rid the van of said bee, and Sean pleading for Chris to pull over and Lonnie telling Chris, “keep driving”. That my friends, was van one.

The memories from this race will last me a lifetime. I got to know ten people I had never met before and consider them friends. I spent over thirty hours in tight quarters with six people, including my sister, whom with I would run again with any day. The rigors and pain that come with this relay have only enforced my sense of accomplishment and mental toughness that is a trait of all of my teammates. Life teaches us lessons when we are open to take them in and this relay was chock full of learning experiences. I can say with confidence, I have memories that will last a lifetime, friends that I will never forget, and a sweet bib number and medal to hang in my garage.

I would like to say thanks to the race organizer, the countless volunteers, (Boy Scouts you got our vote for best aid station), supporters, friends and family who gave up their time to watch our kids, follow us on the road, and give us shelter. Without your help, we couldn’t have done any of this and a big thank you is necessary.

To my teammates, thanks for cheering me on, keeping the mood light, and not being van one. I will remember you forever.

Wild West Relay - The Start

2010-08-06T07:35:00.000-05:00

4:45am – Out of bed and ready to get my run on. Well not exactly, my leg (7) will get going around 10:00am but we want out whole team to be at the starting line together to see our first runner off.

5:25am – It’s a brisk 55 degrees outside this morning in Fort Collins. Coming from 85 degrees in the morning with intense Kansas City humidity, I could get used to this. The normal prerace nerves are taking hold but it’s not too bad, hell my first leg is 3.7 miles, which is a warm up for me so it’s not the run that eating at me. It’s the second leg (19) 8.8 miles starts at 7400 feet and ends at 9200 feet. Brutal for a flatlander like me. Anyway, the parking lot is a bee hive of activity. Giant white vans everywhere decorated with signs and shaving cream, streamers, and banners. Headlamps and reflective gear illuminate the morning with the MC providing the soundtrack in the background. Groups are going off every 15 minutes and we are set to bolt at 5:40am.

5:35am – I have now been introduced to everyone on the team. The only runner I know is my brother-in-law Chris. My sister was running and invited me to join the team, but unfortunately she took a header over her handlebars doing some downhill mountain biking and broke her collar bone about three weeks ago so she is now a driver. One quick note, a commonality amongst the running community here in Colorado, tan, slender, prepared, a well put together group which is reassuring.

5:40am – WE ARE OFF!!!!!

5:41am – Back to the vans to wish the first team members off. Six in one with a driver and six in the other. I’m in van two with my sister and Chris is in van one. He is a pretty particular fellow and likes his space so when my sister, Colleen, asks him, “are you ready?” He replies, “it’s not the run I’m worried about,” as he glances over his shoulder at the van. Chris, sitting next to people for that long in a cramped space is not something he dreams about, but we are all sacrificing something for the team. His contribution: comfort.

6:00am – Back at my sister’s house to catch a little more rest (or blog) and then off to our first checkpoint and my first leg.

The Flight

2010-08-05T17:14:00.000-05:00

A rather uneventful takeoff but not without questions from the inquisitive one, Ruby.

“Are we going to go higher than the clouds?”

“Well yes and no, some we will be higher than and some we won’t.”

“Will we be flying near heaven?”

“Good question, but probably not that high.”

As we make a turn during flight, “are we going to keep flying sideways the whole time?”

“We are just banking to turn right or better yet, no we won’t be flying sideways the whole time.”

“Could this plane take us to the jungle?”

“I’m sure it could but we are going to Colorado.”

“Is that near Iowa?”

“Not exactly.”

“Are we in space?”

“Does it look like we are in space,” I asked?

People think I talk a lot and I do, but good Lord. Flight time is around an hour and fifteen minutes. We are airborne for twenty minutes and here comes the obligatory, “dad I have to pee really bad.”

“Of course you do,” I reply.

We make our way to the “lavatory”, which by the way she says, “is where they do experiments” and we enter.

“This is the smallest bathroom I have ever been in my whole life. It’s so tiny. Is this for little people like me,” she asks?

“It’s for big and little people but it has to be small because there is not a lot of room on airplanes,” I add.

We climb over the poor gentleman who smells like Aqua Velva and immediately she requests a Sprite. I negotiate to a Vitamin water, which costs as much as liquid gold, but “we’re on vacation”. Lots can be justified using that phrase. We are then proceeded to have our two cookies, split an apple, and I’m ready to take a nap.

Before you know it we will be in Denver and my run in the clouds will begin.

Wild West Relay

2010-08-05T13:15:00.000-05:00

"Hey Dad, when I get older I'm going to drive planes," said Ruby.

"I can't wait to see that one," I replied.

And so it begins. Ruby and I are sitting here at the KCI Airport waiting for our plane. When we touch down, Grandpa Mike and Grandma Jan will be waiting for us. About twenty hours after that I will be running along a foothills road headed into the Rockies.

It's my first time running an "adventure" race. It's called the Wild West Relay or more affectionately "Get Your Ass Over the Pass." Check it out here: http://www.wildwestrelay.com/

Beer Run is our team name and there are twelve of us..."suckers" as my wife would say.

Fireworks, Riverside, and Second Degree Burns

2010-07-06T13:53:00.000-05:00

I want to start by apologizing to my two readers, my wife and my mom, for the delay in posting something new up here. Life has been busy something fierce and the stories that are clammering to be told in my brain are about to come out. One story coagulated to the surface and is ready to be skimmed.

Adventures in buying fireworks.

So imagine a town of around 3,000 where crime is unusually high, taxes are unusually low, city ordinances are fairly non-existent, and a giant casino funnels in so much money the town has little incentive to change. Normally, one would think this is a little river town in Southeast Missouri, but not so fast, it's Riverside, Missouri a wonderful place tucked away in Kansas City, Missouri. This quaint little river city does an impeccable job in hiding the public housing, the rows and rows of apartments and mobile homes, and segregating the underbelly from the shiny facade. Once a year though, the freak flags are flying, and fly they do. The day we get to celebrate our freedom from tyranny, oppression, and bad teeth.

Happy Fourth of July!!!

There are three main roads you can take to enter into Riverside, one from the North, one from the East, and one from the West. All three points converge on what some would consider the Mecca of fireworks stands in Missouri. Calling them firework stands is an attack on the sensibilities of all fireworks connoisseurs mind you. It's like calling the Ringling Brothers traveling carnival. These are freestanding, self sustaining, small cities, that happen to put up a giant tent and sell explosives for two weeks, and then poof, gone like a thief in the night.

Once a year I make my Hajj to Riverside to load up on bottlerocks, M-80's, Roman Candles, Snaps, Sparklers, Rockets, Snakes, and Punks. It is quite possibly the most wonderful time of the year. I have been blowing shit up since I was seven and we moved from Iowa to Missouri. The first time Snake-Eyes (a GI-Joe) went hurtling in six different directions following a well placed firecracker in his mid-section, I was hooked. My patriotic cup runneth over when the smell of sulfer and gunpowder come floating by.

So there are around fifteen fireworks tents in a town of around 3,000 people. That around one stand for every 200 people. Normally, one would think that's a little high, but not much is normal in Riverside. The shops have great names like Mad Mikes, Crazy Eddie's, Real Cheap Fireworks (a side note here, while real cheap may sound like a selling point, personally I don't like that marketing tactic when evaluating explosives), Crazy Harry's, River Roll Explosions, 1/2 Price Fireworks, and on and on. As I made my journey this year I had to make a decision between two. They are located directly across the road from each other and have decent parking and are fairly easy to get in and out of. My choices were these...

Dishonest Don's versus Honest John's.

A couple of things jump out at me immediately, Honest John's is certainly nice but is lacking in patriotism, I mean come on, I don't even see an American flag flying from their sign, let alone the two flying from Dishonest John's sign. We all know, the number of flags either behind you in a press conference, attached to your lapel pin, or flapping in the wind on your fireworks tent is how patriotism is measured in our country. Secondly, Dishonest Don's matches all coupons! Seriously people, we want deals and coupons will get you there even when I have never seen a fireworks coupon in my entire life. Thirdly, everyone needs a tag line or catchy phrase and once again Don's brings it, "where you get a steal of a deal." Finally, they send a proverbial shot across the bow of Crazy Harry's by saying, "we may be dishonest...but were not crazy." Ouch.

With such an aggressive marketing I succumbed to the wonder's of Dishonest Don's. The first thing you notice as you approach the holy land are the "NO SMOKING" signs everywhere. One would think this would be common sense and just a good practice, but as I quickly learned judging by the lack of digits on some employees hands, the signs also warning you not to hold the fireworks once lit are not always read. As my wife and two little girls, strolled through aisles and aisles of munitions, we loaded up our bread rack, yes bread rack with all sorts of items that would make for one hour of dog maddening explosions. It was certainly a sight to behold, semi's of inventory lined one side, campers for the carny's, I mean vendors, on the next, men in shirts without sleeves all around, girls in cutoff jeans and black eyes scribbling prices with Sharpies on all the wares. We finally made it to the checkout line and I waited, and while the wife and kids were over petting a dog that road shot gun in a motorcycle side car, I heard an interesting discussion from a two ladies working a different cash register.

"Don told me not to put tax on that order," said the young lady in the Insane Clown Posse t-shirt.

"Any deal over $300 Roger will put a code in because the tax is already figured in so don't worry about what gets taxed and what doesn't," coming from the burly looking woman who I think was having a chew.

So taxes are optional and deals are the norm, this my friends is what America is all about. So as the four of us drove back home to ready ourselves for the evening festivities I thought about how lucky I am to live in this country. We may have our issues but we also have our freedoms and for that, while I light the first wick of the year, I remember those who have gone before us so that I can blow things up.

Inspections, Registrations, Tickets, and Money

2010-06-09T14:01:00.001-05:00

Oh story time!!!! How I love to tell these tales. It is cathartic to get this down in text after living it for a number of days. This is a little ditty about getting my new tags.

For the three people that read this, I think one of you makes their residence in Missouri so you are probably familiar with this story. Every year or two, depending on what you are willing to pay, the State of Missouri wants to extra a little fee from you. This racket, and I don't use that term loosely, is set up under the auspices of public safety. The Missouri Department of Transportation wants to keep our roads safe and this is the only way to insure this. What a joke. While Kansas may lack in some things, at least they have the smarts to just make you pay for the tags rather than jump through the bureaucratic red tape that makes people resent government.

Here's the deal. It starts with a notice from the state saying you need to renew your tags soon. One word of advice, do this as soon as possible because it might take you months to get all this worked out. So, first you have to find the last two years of your personal property tax. This was easy and is a funny reminder of how much I've already paid to the county this year and last year and last year and last year. My next move, was to drive around on expired tags for three months. While it didn't seem like a terrible idea while I wasn't getting tickets, when it rains it pours, and I got three in a week. So now the motivation is there to get this done.

You might be asking, "Ben, why did it take you so long to get your tags?"

Good question. The answer is that my car had a bad left front tire that needed replacing, the wipers weren't great, and I was pretty sure something was wrong with my front steering or suspension.

"Why does that matter?"

Another good one. Well, in Missouri once you get the inspection, if the car fails you need to get it fixed before they will pass it for inspection or find a mechanic that will pass you regardless. Those are much harder to find then you might imagine.

After getting the three tickets, I started calling around for inspections. It was going to take a least a week so I thought I would just start stopping by places. Last Thursday, Ruby had a dentist appointment so I took off the morning with the intention of getting the inspection and going to the DMV for the tags. An acquaintance of my wife recommended a mechanic down on Independence Ave. If you are not familiar with Independence Avenue, it's basically the same as Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd. in any major city. Before heading off, I went by Tires Plus. I have spent over a grand there in the past year on tires and such so I thought this would be a good place to start, plus they open at 7:00am. My arrival was right on time but come to find out the mechanic that does inspections won't be there until 10:00am and won't get to my car until the afternoon, but I am more than welcome to leave it for the day. Thanks but no thanks, I have things to do and they don't work with me walking or riding a bike.

Well, let's go down to the hood and give Mr. Shady's a try. I roll in there right on time and who would have thought, their mechanic who does inspections doesn't come in until 1:00pm. I am in the wrong profession, the inspection mechanic has a sweet deal and basically makes his own hours. This place does look suspicious at best. It's literally, just a old building, with a tiny parking lot, no signage, no hours on the door, no air conditioning, no television to watch Judge Judy, and all the magazines are in Chinese. The receptionist/mechanic/owner tells me to come back at 1:00.

So I go get Ruby, we hit up the dentist, I drop her back off and I start searching for another mechanic.

"I can't until Friday."

"Next week at the earliest."

"You will have to make an appointment."

Well, 1:00pm arrives and I roll back to China Town. The tiny parking lot is packed, cars almost on top of each other. I go inside and the waiting room is like the United Nations. English as a first language was only particular to me. So I walk up front and ask again how long for an inspection. Mind you, I was told that they will take $25 bucks cash, sign the papers, and send you on your way.

"Can you come back at 4:30?"

To my disappointment this is not as disreputable as I had hoped. I'm actually pissed at people being honest, I have got to chill out.

So I roll back to Parkville, taking back roads, all the while stopping at any shop that has the Missouri Inspection Decal on the window. At the last place I went a gentleman tells me if I can have it there at 7:30am in the morning he will do it. Sold.

At this point it's 2:00pm and I have had to call in and say I'm not making it in today. The YMCA is really close to where I was and a good hard run will eliminate some of this tension and keep me from exploding. When I get there, I happen across an old wrestling buddy and I relate my story to him.

"Have you tried Glen's in Parkville?"

"No."

"You just pull around back and they do it like an oil change, no appointment necessary."

Hot damn, I skip the workout and head to Glen's. They have two pull through bays in the back and they pull me right in. I am getting excited already. It's two young guys and they get started right away. One wrench wrestler comes in and I can tell I didn't pass.

"You need a new left front tire and inner tie rod ends. We can do it upstairs in the shop for around $600."

He had better be high or I better have misheard him.

"$600."

"Thanks for your help guys."

At this point I'm at least happy to have a failing inspection paper because if I get stopped at least I can plead to the fact that I'm trying to get this done. It worked once the previous day when I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop and I showed him my other tickets and he let me go. What compassion. So I decided that God gave me a extremely capable mechanic for a father-in-law it's time to ask him for help. So I go to NAPA and pick up tie rods for $80 bucks. I call him up and he says he can help. Once at his house, he helps me, but we get stuck on how to get the inner tie rod off. After we struggle for awhile he leaves to go get a "part". I go inside and google how to do this. Mind you that took half an hour because they live in the boonies and it's almost like using dial-up. Using dial-up would normally be the worst part of my day, but not this day.

So I go back outside and try to figure out how to fix this. Around the same time my father-in-law is back working on the left front.

"Hey, I was looking on google and it looks like they make a part specifically for this job."

"Like this one jackass?" As he holds up the exact part I was just looking at. "I rented it at AutoZone and will take it back when we're done."

I say "we", but in all reality my participation in this fix, was passing him parts, keeping small children from crawling under a car on jack stands, and mostly trying to stay the hell out of his way.

After spending an hour busting knuckles trying to change the tie-rods on the first one, it takes like fifteen minutes on the right side. Now, I am halfway to getting my car passed for inspection. I go to Tires Plus again and take in my tire and they can have it for me tomorrow.

So I go to work on Friday, taking my wife's car, and having her drive mine with the donut on. They call me around 10:00am to say the new tire is on. I leave work and race to get this mission done. I get the tire, take off the spare, put on the new one and head back to Glen's, because now I should pass. One quick note, when changing your tie-rods go to great pains to remember where things were aligned before. If not you will have a car that feels like you are hammered, driving home from the bars at three in the morning.

Anyway, I get to Glen's they tell me the inspection is good to go, give me the proper paper I need, and suggest strongly that I should get an alignment. I am so pumped at this moment and roll to the DMV. Never in my life have I been so happy to go to the DMV. If I was there for five minutes, it wasn't one second longer. The Parkville DMV did an awesome job and made it the most pleasant experience of this whole ordeal. I got new plates and tags with the caveat that I won't be doing this again for two years, or until my wife needs new tags. Hallelujah.

Why I am so perturbed is the whole ridiculousness of this process. After this many talks with mechanics it's a known fact that for $12 bucks they can't make any money on an inspection and they actually LOSE money doing an inspection. Hence, something has to be wrong with your car, or they have to find something, if they aren't going to lose money and time on this deal. How backwards is that.

Next, having to get tags opens the floodgates for all kinds of petty crimes. Plate theft, illegal tags, tag theft, and expired tags are four of the most common tickets written in the state of Missouri. It is also all the police need to have probable cause and open an entire Pandora's box of legal maneuvering.

IT'S A RACKET!!!!

The State is using the banner of public safety to write more tickets, collect more fees, unduly put more burdens on the lower socio-economic class, and create an atmosphere where shady business and personal practices are the norm rather than the exception.

While I normally like to be somewhat funny in this blog, I was so frustrated by the end of this that the only way for me to get rid of it was type it out.

Thanks for reading this.

Ben