PsychoWyco - A Day Full of Firsts
I don’t sleep well before races. The night before
PsychoWyco, tossing and turning, insanely realistic dreams of saving the day,
running endlessly and carrying my dog, looped through my mind at rapid clip. This
is fairly normal for me and the more anticipation for the event the more likely
I will wake up ten times or dream that I am waking up (those always mess with
ya). Not to mention, I have a couple of young ones who love nothing more than
to faint bad dreams or, insert any reason here, to come join Mom and Dad in
bed. No California King in my room so it can get a little cramped
(foreshadowing). By the time my alarm goes off at 6:15am I have been up for at
least a half hour. Quick side note, my alarm on my phone says “Boston Marathon”
as it vibrates the table. That is my personal kick in the pants to keep clarity
in my running endeavors. I learned a lot at Boston in 2012 (DNF) and in 2014 I
will be trying again.
Then the ritual starts.
1.
Take my vitamins and pound about a liter of
water.
2.
Eat a banana.
3.
Make a peanut butter sandwich – forget to eat
it.
4.
Get my band-aids on – feel like Lady Gaga.
5.
Recheck all gear for the tenth time.
6.
Load up my car.
There are countless reasons to love the Trail Nerds. Ben
Holmes is a top notch Race Director, all the folks affiliated with the Trail
Nerds bust their asses to create unique events, but for this report I want to
focus on something that might not mean much to a lot of runners but it means
the world to me. Nearly all the Trail Nerd events are dog friendly. What’s that
you say? You can run with your dog. Yes, you read that correctly. While
stroller friendly races plant a tiny seed in the little one getting pushed down
the road, running with your dog requires equal support and participation. I
also feel like it deepens the connection between animal and (wo)man and forces
me to get out of myself and be wild.
PsychoWyco has two flavors, the Psummer and the Winter. I
believe the Winter is the original and the full name is the PsychoWyco Run Toto
Run; dog friendly even in its naming convention, clever. It’s up to the runner
to pick their poison. Would you like the ten mile, twenty mile, or thirty one
mile punishment? I’ll take the thirty one please. The ten and twenty are
actually longer than advertised by three or four tenths but who’s counting. For
the record, this is the fourth time I have run this event and currently I am
one for three in finishing. Last year, was the first time I actually finished
the full 50K. The two prior attempts were marred by cramps and poor decision
making.
The course itself is a ten mile loop. This is not your
ordinary loop in a park. Wyandotte County Lake Park, specifically the bridle trail,
is like the path in the woods you find that you believe no one else knows about
and it’s some secret playland for those of us who like getting lost in the
woods. Imagine a birthday cake you would take into a prison. It looks nice and
serene with woods as the icing and the trail as the swirls in the frosting. Oh
it looks so good and tasty you just want to bite into it but not so fast. Once
you dig in your realize this is where the files and shanks are located. Steep,
brutal, thigh crushing hills that burn your muscles and cramp your will at
every turn. Roots and branches and knots for foot paths to be traversed with
focus and agility. Rocks, freaking loose rocks everywhere, making footfalls precarious
and knees and hands and elbows bloody from the falls you will take and you will
fall. It’s Kansas how hilly can it be? Well, it’s some bizarro world with
12,000 feet of elevation gain double that for decent (on the 50K) so that’s how
hilly it can be jerks. Then, if that sound pleasurable, throw in some nasty
conditions. Oh yeah, layer some ice on top of that cake and wash it down with a
big glass of rain and it becomes nearly unrunnable at parts.
As fate would have it and it has to be fate because we are
in some godforsaken drought, it rained the weekend before then got cold enough to
freeze, then warmed up and the rained some more on Wednesday. Full disclosure
here, I have run all my PR’s regardless of distance in horrid conditions. I
actually prefer nasty for the focus it brings. There is something about biting
winds, torrential rains, and trails as loose old man stools, that make me want
to run. What can I accomplish in this? What can I take? What am I made of? This
is why I run.
February 9th, 2013 provided one slice of these
conditions. The trail was sloppy. The first loop was okay due to an 8am start
time and right around freezing temperatures. It was still a little soggy at
points but mostly if not all runnable. Not the case for loop two and loop three
was killer. I mean there were ropes, you know those things you tie shit up
with, on a few of the hills just so you could get up them. Ropes people! A chorus
of cursing and laughter echoed off the ridges and down into the valleys. I kept
imagining that spook house carnival ride feel at points. Sign me up!
Oh my yellow dog. A little background on my fearless running
companion, Charlotte Chocolate Milk Keefe. Ridiculous name, absolutely.
Financial wealth is not really something I aspire to but being life rich is
what I’m all about. I’ve watched the Kentucky Derby, I see the names of these
horses, Sir Melodious MoneyMaker or Trixie’s Trotters Spells Fantastic. Insane.
While horse ownership is not in my future I can name my dog something with the
best of them. My last dog was Mango Margaret Salsa Keefe and Charlotte is the
next in line for greatness. She is
great. After Mango passed on I needed another dog to run with me. I enjoy the
company of other runners and will twist the ear of those willing to run along
but it’s hard to find someone who lives by me and is willing to run really far.
Enter dogs. I found Charlotte doing a Google search of humane societies and lab
rescues in my area. Faithful, good with kids, willing to run long distances are
all characteristics of labs or lab mutts and my search was over.
The table has been set. You know the conditions for the race,
the type of trail you will be gallivanting across and the ludicrousness of
PsychoWyco. I know, I know get to the race already, calm down. I’ll be brief.
At least in that previous sentence. The first loop started out well. I made the
bold claim to the race director that my dog was going to set the canine course
record and that I would appreciate it if we didn’t have to start in the back of
the back. Normally, starting in the back with your dog is trail etiquette and
it keeps a bit of the chaos at the starting line to a minimum. The RD was kind
enough to make an announcement for the fast runners to come to the front and
then pointed to us and said that dog is fast and will be starting up front as
well. Talk about flattery. If you can’t tell I am living vicariously through my
dog for this race and the RD basically called me fast. Yes! BLAAAAAAAA! The
horn sounded and we were off.
You have about a third of a mile to find your
pace before you hit the first dive into the woods. The trail starts about two
wide but there is really one ideal path to tread if you can file in. I had my own
goal time for the race, attempting to sub five hours. That’s sort of a magical
number at this race. If you sub five hours you get your entry fee back. Again,
if you sub five you get your entry fee back. My personal best is a 5:06:ish and
given the conditions my realistic goal was to get under whatever the canine
course record was. I believe it was around 5:32:ish and even that was going to
be a slog. Last year, when I set my PR it was ideal conditions. Freezing
temperatures for the entire race, sunny, and a brick like trail availing itself
to fast running and risk taking. By the time we hit the first aid station at
the Triangle I knew we were in business. Charlotte was tugging and I was a bit hesitant
to let her leash tether out much further due to the Triangle being a single
track with tight switchbacks and sudden ups and downs so we played it cool.
“Your dog is awesome.”
“Way to go pooch.”
These were the common refrains from all the supporters and
volunteers on the course. We came out of the other side of the Triangle way
ahead of my ideal time in my head but I felt good so no need to stress on it.
The way I run this trail is to keep a slow to moderate pace on the steeps and
just bomb the downhills. Running with reckless abandon down the hills is the
closest thing in my life to feeling just like that ten year old kid I once was running
in the woods. This was really only possible on the first loop for me. The
gentleman who set the course record, Scott Gall, how was also the first person
to sub four hours must have been bombing everything which in my mind is nearly
incomprehensible. The trial held up quite nicely I over the next six miles with
Charlotte and I stopping at aid stations to fill up her collapsible bowl and
grab a few goodies. People often ask me what I eat or hydrate with during these
long runs. For races I like Succeed Caps made mostly of sodium and potassium,
gu’s, and water. That’s what I normally carry. I have four ten ounce bottles strapped
to my waist and usually go through all four in twenty miles. We ended the first
loop in 1:26: .We were floating as me motored around the main shelter getting
lifted by all the cheers. What fills me up more than anything when racing is
encouragement. Positivity helps to keep the doubts from creeping in and
doubting yourself leads to excuses.
Loop two provides an entirely new experience and effort with
a couple of new factors. The ten mile racers start one hour after the twenty
and thirty one mile participants have taken off, so passing people safely becomes
the name of the game. Again, course courteousness applies and the approaching
runner should yell out, “on your left” and if possible the runner being passed should
move to the right. Normally, this isn’t too difficult when flying solo but with
a leashed dog and a soul sucking trail moving over becomes more challenging.
Thankfully the vast majority if not all were happy to move over and since
Charlotte normally passed them first they would start to smile, laugh and tell
her good job. A few people threw in a, “you too” and seeing people smile made
me smile. Passing in the Triangle was even more daring than usual but the
advantage for me in this section is you can normally see Charlotte and I coming
before we get up behind you. We stopped coming out of that section to refuel
grab some bacon and snacks for Charlotte and I pounded an extra bit of water.
Many coaches will tell you to sip sip sip and I did my best but when you get
really thirsty sometimes you just have to chug a little. The potential is there
to pay for it later but mentally it’s what I needed. Right before you get to
the “Fall Down Hill” section (do I really need to explain this section?) I saw
my wife. She was running the ten mile race and was looking great. She lost her
trail virginity at the Psychopathic 5K Ice Edition a few weeks prior but this
was the full deflowering. The full ten is no joke for a first timer and she was
holding her own. I yelled out to her to see how she was doing and slowed down
to say hello. I asked if she needed anything, she gave Charlotte a pet and we
were off again. That was pretty cool. It the first time we have really ever
raced together and it boosted my spirits once again.
Charlotte and I jumped the drainage ditch coming out of “Fall
Down Hill” and started up the “Dam Hill” or “Damn Hill”. It’s a pretty brutal
stretch. Nearly a mile uphill the entire time, you get some pavement but don’t
let that fool you, you crest what you believe is the end after you pass the dam
aid station but not so fast, the grade just increases again before you push
back into “Speed Ridge”. I do want to back up one second; I mentioned jumping
the drainage ditch, that is how I also gauge how I am feeling. If I can jump it
my confidence stays high. If I walk it, then I know it’s going to start getting
really hard. Well, you push back into the woods at the top of the dam and I
only partially bombed that next downhill. There are ominous warning signs that
say “SLOW DOWN” and you should. It gets slick, steep and twisty and if you
motor in too fast you will bust it for sure. You come out of that section and
start up “Misery Ridge” aren’t these names great. This was the roped section
and you needed it. The trail had gotten so muddy and slippery that you could
not get up those hills without pulling hand over hand up the ropes. Try that
while holding a leash it gets tricky. At the top of the ridge I got my first
calf cramp and it snuck up fast. When I cramp it’s normally in my quads and I
have been wearing calf compression sleeves for the past few months and they
seem to really help. I pushed the cramps out of my mind and decided I would
just deal with it. I think I was surprised because I thought the S-Caps would
prevent that from happening and I thought I had been killing some water but nonetheless
cramps were happening. Charlotte and I were keeping a good pace anyway and I
knew if we could come around in about three hours we would have a shot at
subbing five hours.
With about a mile and a half to go in the second loop I
encountered the only time I got pissed during the race. Maybe a year ago a big
tree fell across the single track and this strange detour was created. It’s a
really quick down and up from a feeder stream to the lake. At this point it was
a wreck, very muddy and required stopping and making sure you crossed it
carefully. Charlotte and I came up on this section and there was a woman
getting ready to scramble down and up and she saw us and told us to go ahead. A
quick glance up we noticed a young man coming back to ask if anyone needed
help. Man, these trail peeps are nice and thoughtful. “We’re okay, my dog can do
it easy,” I said as we approached laughing. He then proceeds to help the woman
and say’s to her, “it must be its cheating.” I’m going to get on my high horse
here for a minute. I was so close to stopping turning around and telling him to
go f himself but I didn’t want to jeopardize OUR race and in hindsight I don’t
believe he really meant it. I would be a fool if I didn’t think that some
people see an advantage of having a dog leashed to your hand when traversing
these hills and there probably is at times. It’s also hard as hell to
continually tug her back close, unwind her when she breaks off around a tree,
and pay attention to both of us the entire race. It’s hard and if we are
cheating in some minds, I don’t really give a shit. I apologize for the language
and hostility.
We hit the end of the second loop right around three hours
and I realized we had a chance to accomplish both of our goals. At this point
people were finishing the twenty miler and ten miler so lots of people were
erupting with yells and support. I should have stopped and chowed for a minute
but that shot of adrenaline had us motoring around and out for loop three. Then
came the first wall. We entered the woods to start the loop and had to walk a
hill we ran both times previously. My pace was falling rapidly and I thought I
was in trouble. Last year, I had a fellow trail nerd pace me on the last loop
and that helped considerably. This time it was just Charlotte and I and she can’t
yell at me to pick it up. I was traveling down the dark corners of my mind and
that’s no place you should go alone. The trail at this point is horrible. With
some many feet having covered it you couldn’t even get to an edge to try to
find footing. The heels of my shoes started getting sucked into the muck and
nearly came off on countless steps. Charlotte on the other hand is just
sticking right next to me at this point. She could sense my troubles and was
sticking by my side. When we finally hit the Triangle aid station for the last
time I started to really eat. I was so hungry. Gu’s and water were just not
cutting it. M&M’s, Gatorade, Coca - Cola, and bacon were being downed by
the mouthful. Coca – Cola is the sweet nectar of the gods on these ultras. When
we made it out of the Triangle we chowed again, dog and I. This seemed to
really help. My spirits lifted and before I knew it we were back at the bottom
of the dam. We walked the drainage ditch. Shit.
We did manage to run nearly the entire “Dam Hill” which unlike
previous years I have never been able to do during the third loop. I was
checking my watch at this point and I was hoping we could make it to the “four
mile to go” sign with forty eight minutes left. That would give us twelve
minute miles and that seemed doable. Well doable until we hit the roped section
and misery ridge. It was so hazardous at this point that you could easily slip
and fall down the ravine. That is not something I take lightly considering if
you fall hard and far enough you could die. That may sound a bit outlandish but
if you nail your head who knows what could happen. We had to walk much of that
entire section. The cramps hit at the top of the ridge much like loop two but
they were in both calves at this point. Running was still possible but it was
more of a jog. Bombing the hills was over because the risk wasn’t worth the
reward. The quick twitch and nimble footing had been replaced with heavy feet
and slow reactions. Not your ideal combination for racing down muddy shoots.
I’m checking my watch at every half mile sign. I must have
been doing thirteen minute averages because with two to go we had around twenty
minutes left. We were approaching the “Three Hills” section that wraps up the
end of the loop and at that point I was resigned to not subbing five. That can
be a bit discouraging mentally but I knew I was going to beat my PR of 5:06:ish
and I also knew that Charlotte was going to smash the canine course record. I
also felt that given the circumstances of the trail to beat my PR was a noble
accomplishment. The best way to describe the “Three Hills” section is gnarly.
The first hill goes on forever and is incredibly steep. You are sliding
backward on every step. I couldn’t run it at all and had to start the death
march. You get to the top of the madness and say thank you to whatever you
believe in and head back down, then up another bruiser and then back down and
then up one final time. With a half mile to go I needed to run a 00:03:30
minute half mile to sub five and that wasn’t even a remote possibility. At the
top of the last hill before you head down to the finish you hit this nice
clearing. I straightened up as best I could because I knew Dick Ross was going
to be taking our picture and a dude has to look good. Thankfully, my wife and
kids were already gone to a birthday party so they would not be at the finish
when I crossed. I’m not one to get overly emotional for much but finishing a
difficult race combined with seeing the loves of my life just triggers
something inside me that I can’t control. I almost always cry. My oldest always
asks my wife, “why is Daddy crying?” She replies, “Because he is so happy.”
We crossed the finish line in 5:02:56. My personal best and
a killer canine course record for Charlotte. As Ben Holmes put the medals
around both of our necks and confirmed she set the record all I could so was smile.
Dick did his best impression of what the paparazzi must be like and Charlotte
and I walked over to my car. Charlotte drank some water and jumped into the
back and sat there smiling. I peeled off my shoes, sleeves, shirt and headband
and enjoyed the moment.
Charlotte Chocolate Milk Keefe, champion.
